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lucittm lucittm is offline
Manassas, VA
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,211
Trouble Makers

This has happened to me many times. I used to ride a Honda CBX to work every day (some of you will know that this bike is the coolest thing on 2 wheels). Anyway, I was very careful not to get too close to any hunks of iron in front of me.
Now, the tail-gators, that was another thing. I lost count of how many times I could reach back on my bike and touch the front bumper of a car behind me on the freeway if I wanted to. Usually a blip of the throttle and the six carbs, six cylinders, and six exhaust pipes would catapult me several car lengths in front of the offending motorist. But on some occasions, they would just not behave. So I resorted to carrying a handful of loose change in the pocket of my jacket. I would toss some nickels over my shoulder and that would usually do the trick. There was only one occasion (out of many) that caused the driver to fly into a rage. I simply took off and left him? in the dust. I told this to a cop buddy once and he reminded me it was against the law - to deface American currency.

For us P-car drivers, I offer the following tactics to deal with tail-gators:
1. Tap your brake 3 times in succession. This is the international warning signal. Don't slow down, just make the light come on, practice this at home.
2. Weave slightly in your lane side to side. This will usually wake up the sleepy driver who has allowed themself to get too close, plus it's fun.
3. Change lanes, allow the offensive driver to pass you, pull in behind them, and saturate their vision with your 100W halogen lights on high-beam (this is especially fun at night). Then quickly regain your rightful position ahead of the now night-blinded driver and speed off into the night.
4. Wash your windshield. This is more effective if you have "adjusted" your windshield sprayer to spray slightly over your sunroof. Great for bikers.
5. Get the license plate and pay the small fee to the state DMV to get the offending driver's home address. Send them a polite letter stating how you were threatened by their behavior on the road and you know where they live. (Don't include your return address) This is really fun if you are a lawyer and you add "esq" after your name. Heck, do it anyway.

(The above statements are intended for entertainment purposes only, professional stunt men were used in all scenarios, your results may vary, don't try this at home, etc.)

Mark, esq.
1991 964 Polar Silver Metallic Turbo Coupe
Old 03-04-2008, 04:54 PM
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