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The best "dish-out" of Humble-Pie you served on the road...

I would like to hear some experiences of humbling "bullies" on the road. I have had some "classic" moments of crushing more than a few overblown ego's on the road.

When I drive, I don't go looking for trouble...but when it comes looking for me...

Tell us, like were sitting around a campfire...


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1983 911 3.3L Turbo(YES, I know the turbo badge is on the right...had to be different!)
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Old 10-04-2010, 09:44 AM
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I was out on a work detail over the weekend. And I was actually driving very nice 55mph in the left lane. Everyone in the left lane was driving 60mph or so. There was only 2 lanes of traffic. So I didn't want to cut..etc..etc..

So lets just enjoy the nice cruise home......
I was the last car in the left lane, approx 5 cars ahead of me...
Then I notice a guy in the right lane go to left lane..approx-40-50yrds behind me. He puts on his brights on purpose....

Withen 2-3min I had enought of this B.S. I went to the right lane..........waiting....
The driver finally comes along side of me...And what do I see.... The passenger is male 70's old white hair and also the driver..,, The driver was yelling & *****in -of what I have no idea of..very strange (shock factor). The passenger...sees my logo/upper arm on my jkt....And bugs out..Telling his driver friend to shut the F-UP..I read his lips. ...The passenger gave me a thumbs up. I smiled/shook my head and boogied away....

(I think they were driving a beatup-saturn station wagon.........)

Walt

Last edited by wjfk32; 10-04-2010 at 10:13 AM..
Old 10-04-2010, 09:58 AM
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"And I was actually driving very nice 55mph in the left lane. Everyone in the left lane was driving 60mph or so. There was only 2 lanes of traffic. So I didn't want to cut..etc..etc.."

Maybe I don't understand the story, but why would you ever be "crusing" in the left lane? As someone that spends a lot of time on the roads traveling for work, I can't stand it when people camp out in the left lane. Pass, then get over - it's safer. That dude didn't need to be an Arse hole though.
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Old 10-04-2010, 11:58 AM
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Sunday evening approx. 7pm----I guess the terminology (Sunday drivers was spot on.)

What can I say-It happens,,,..Wantagh Pkwy N.Y.


Walt
Old 10-04-2010, 12:08 PM
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It was a dark and stormy winter night, somewhere in Wyoming at around 8:30 pm. My wife and I were in the midst of a cross-country move from SE Idaho to Chicago, she in my '73 Targa and me in my /69 CJ5. She carried part of the zoo in her rig....two parrots and 3 cats, and me....I carried the two Alaskan Malamutes in the back of the CJ.

There we were, exhausted after only our first day of travel, fighting blowing and drifting snow all the way and only 5 miles from our pre-arranged stop for the night. Then, the road conditions quickly changed as the temperature began to climb. Up ahead, we could see dozens of flashing lights strewn on both sides of the road....emergency vehicles as well as cars which has spun-out and landed in the ditch. I mean, I'm talking slicker'n snot on a door knob here....max speed maybe 20 mph. The Targa did ok, but I'm sure it felt like power steering. The CJ, with it's short wheelbase and tall center of gravity was a bit dicey but doing ok.

With the highway exit and our hotel just minutes away, some young punk Wyomingite dude in a lime green Chevy Impala decided that I was going too damn slow for him, and he decided to pass me in the left lane. Well, no sooner had he got besides me did he begin to lose control of his boat of a car. He hit (gently, I might add) the left rear quarter panel of my CJ, which sent me doing cookies down the road while he ended up nose-first in the ditch. I ended up facing the opposite direction on the shoulder of the road, unscathed. The dogs are saying "cool, daddy-dog, let's do that again" and the wife is yelling across the airwaves on our CB's, babbling something incoherent 'cause she witnessed the whole thing in her rearview mirror.

So, I'm getting my feces reunited when the punk-ass mo'fo that caused this actually had the balls to ask if I would pull him out of the ditch. I used multitudes of expletives that cannot be repeated here and headed out to claim our hotel room. 10 minutes later I'm in a Pizza Hut guzzling my first pitcher of beer and laughing about it.

OK, there's a campfire story for you. Probably not what you had in mind, but oh well....This is kinda like an Alice's Restaurant song, with circles and arrows and color glossy 8x10 photos.
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Last edited by mark houghton; 10-04-2010 at 03:43 PM..
Old 10-04-2010, 03:27 PM
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Driving toward 15 in my 89' C4/930 swap...
It was 2 A.M and I just got done dropping my ex girlfriend off at her parents house in the middle of the sticks in CT (Bethany...). So Im driving back on these little main routes in the middle of nowhere to the Merritt pkwy when this little bmw convertible filled with two little spoiled brats started to tail me. Im driving dead on the speed limit because I know that there are a trillion cops on the way to the highway. I had also noticed that the bimmer was an M3 as I could hear them revving the piss out of it when they were tail gating me. So finally I approach the entrance to the pkwy (conditions: 50 F, Dry, partly cloudy, K27, Kokeln IC, B&B full exhaust, 18 Psi of boost...) and I hit my turn signal to turn on- the kids turned behind me. Come to the stop sign, put it in first and took off slowly. The ja--offs pulled around the left side and they hit it- so I did the same. Shifted 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th and got out of it to shoot two large fire balls out the exhaust while I was about 20 cars ahead. Also while shooting the flames at him, I threw my middle finger out the window to truly drive the message home. So I get on the brakes and slow down to 60 mph to wait for him... he wont come. I slow down to 50... still not coming up. I nearly stop and he finally came up next to me- so there I started calling him a few names and challenging him to race again and he wouldn't do it again like a big fat p*$$y. So I ended it by saying thanks for tailgating me @$$hole! and I gave the gas pedal hell again and disappeared.
I hope they didn't hurt daddy's car in their failed endeavors...
IT was fun for me in the end.
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Last edited by 930gt-40r; 10-05-2010 at 03:16 PM..
Old 10-04-2010, 07:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 930gt-40r View Post
IT was fun for me in the end.
I think it was the fire balls that did the trick. Didn't want to melt daddy's paint job.
It's amazing how "kids" (well, anyone younger than me) tend to gravitate next to us in the other lane. Sometimes they want to race, other times it's just to drool and see if they can entice us to show off a bit. I did that once...they just nodded and smiled, so I gave them a little show as I disappeared into the sunset. They knew not to even try.
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Mark H. 1987 930, GP White, Wevo shifter, Borla exhaust, stock everything else. The result of a massive Pelicanite good will fire recovery effort. Truely an open book, ready for the slippery slopes to modification.
Old 10-04-2010, 08:19 PM
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I was driving down the highway in my civic doing about 65 in a 60 zone, very light traffic, pulling into the left lane to pass was easy cause it was for the most part empty. Outta nowhere come some Jeremy Mayfield wanna be and hooks right on my bumper, like 2-3 feet behind me and he's just staying there, drafting me in his 510 Datsun, passing me was not a problem as there was no traffic, when I pulled over to pass he would do the same thing while glued to my rear bumper. After about 5 minutes of this I see my solution, couldn't see what it was at the distance, could only see that there was something on the road, turned out to be a 2x4 about 18" long lying perpendicular to the center line. the timing was perfect cause there was a car to pass, so I signaled and did a slow lane change and missed the 2x4 by an inch , and old JM hit it. I could hear the 2x4 hitting the underside of his car, he slowed right away and pulled over, must have scared the crap outta him, I just waved bye bye to him in my mirror, often wonder if he learned his leason
Old 10-05-2010, 05:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by s_morrison57 View Post
I was driving down the highway in my civic doing about 65 in a 60 zone, very light traffic, pulling into the left lane to pass was easy cause it was for the most part empty. Outta nowhere come some Jeremy Mayfield wanna be and hooks right on my bumper, like 2-3 feet behind me and he's just staying there, drafting me in his 510 Datsun, passing me was not a problem as there was no traffic, when I pulled over to pass he would do the same thing while glued to my rear bumper. After about 5 minutes of this I see my solution, couldn't see what it was at the distance, could only see that there was something on the road, turned out to be a 2x4 about 18" long lying perpendicular to the center line. the timing was perfect cause there was a car to pass, so I signaled and did a slow lane change and missed the 2x4 by an inch , and old JM hit it. I could hear the 2x4 hitting the underside of his car, he slowed right away and pulled over, must have scared the crap outta him, I just waved bye bye to him in my mirror, often wonder if he learned his leason
Smart....
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Old 10-05-2010, 04:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by s_morrison57 View Post
I was driving down the highway in my civic doing about 65 in a 60 zone, very light traffic, pulling into the left lane to pass was easy cause it was for the most part empty. Outta nowhere come some Jeremy Mayfield wanna be and hooks right on my bumper, like 2-3 feet behind me and he's just staying there, drafting me in his 510 Datsun, passing me was not a problem as there was no traffic, when I pulled over to pass he would do the same thing while glued to my rear bumper. After about 5 minutes of this I see my solution, couldn't see what it was at the distance, could only see that there was something on the road, turned out to be a 2x4 about 18" long lying perpendicular to the center line. the timing was perfect cause there was a car to pass, so I signaled and did a slow lane change and missed the 2x4 by an inch , and old JM hit it. I could hear the 2x4 hitting the underside of his car, he slowed right away and pulled over, must have scared the crap outta him, I just waved bye bye to him in my mirror, often wonder if he learned his leason
Nice
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Old 10-05-2010, 04:32 PM
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Used to have an 03 svt lightning with about 500 hp. At stop light and moron in his brand new fx45 starts revving on me. I lit em up and blew him away up to about 80. He finally caught up, rolled his window down and said, "man I thought my truck was fast, what the he'll do you have in that?". I smiled and told him, "nothing fancy, it's just a ford pick up." Light turned green I took off again, he actually tried to keep up again, I could see him shaking his head all mad at his rig...

Later I got served in the lightning, m3 at a stoplight, pretty typical challenge, I hopped on it again and POW, blew my spark plug right out of my beautiful aluminum heads... Truck sounded like a lawnmower when that happened...
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Old 10-05-2010, 09:23 PM
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I have 2 for the 911 (many more in my teenage years when I was the bully):

1st - Teenager and his girlfriend in a STI/WRX that I could tell had some work done to it with the BOV popping between shifts, etc., comes next to me on the highway. He starts to 'vrrrr mmmm', vrrrr mmmm', you know the sound of giving it gas and then letting off hovering right next to me. So, I let him taunt me probably 3 different times until there was a break in the traffic. I slowly eased the G-50 into 3rd gear and easily let the clutch out putting me at about 4500 PRM, the sweet spot where my turbo has no lag and then stomped it! I blew past him with just a show of force.

I let off, slowed for him, and he slowly caught back up and wouldn't even look over after that. I laughed pretty hard inside.

2nd - 2 sportbikes heading down the highway come up to me and start to play around. One was a dedicated drag bike that had and extended swing arm and a huge slick while the other was a brand new 600 Honda with the loudest exhaust you've ever heard! When he was hovering around me, he was killing my ears since I had the windows down! I got annoyed with the sound and decided I wanted to race him out of the blue. I clearly thought I would lose but thought what the hell. So, I give the nod and drop into third like the story above. Boost hits a bar, the kid leans on the gas tank to give it all he has, and we're off. I couldn't believe it but I was pulling him slowly. Then, I shifted to 4th and continued on with pulling him ever so slightly until he was about 5-10 ft behind my rear bumper. I decided to let off at 140MPH, I didn't want to be acting stupid.
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Old 10-05-2010, 11:55 PM
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On a euro trip down to Verbier to catch the last of the snow with a mate last year, decided to take the 930, did some basic mods to get the roof box to work. The car was loaded up with stuff, roof box was huge and also 'full' of gear, we settled down to crusing between 120 and 140mph for most of the journey!
We had a couple of funny duels with cars on the way, but the funniest was a Fezza 360, he kept coming along side and looking across, this is all on the Autobahn so all legal On at least three separate occasions he came along side, both doing a little over 100mph, then i'd floor it and just pull slowly away from him... You could hear him drop a gear and rev the nuts off the 360, then by 160mph or so i'd back off as the wind noise from the roof box was scary!!

I bet he went straight back to the Ferrari garage and tell them something was wrong, as a 20 odd year old Porsche with a roof box had pulled away from him.... ha ha ha... we did laugh

BTW, this was with the 993tt engine running a tad over 500bhp, but still with stock wheels and the stock 4 speed




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Old 10-06-2010, 01:54 AM
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I slaughtered one of those rousch mustangs from a stoplight but my most fun was with streetbikes.

A couple ricers buzzed me on the highway, and I blew by them and ran up to the top speed of my 930 very quickly, with the lowered andial gearing I hit redline very strongly at about 156 mph. So after I let off, the zork pipe made machine gun noises for about a 1/4 mile with my foot off the gas. When they finally caught up, they gave me the thumbs up and then hauled away but it was pretty clear that my car was faster because they did not just vanish into the horizon with nearly the force I had left them behind.

A real giggle was when I got a thumbs up from a Harley biker so I tailed him for miles. He was doing the absolute top speed of his bike, and he was bent over and his bike was vibrating so much that I thought stuff was gonna come off it. He had leather tassles and all kinds of stuff flapping violently in the air. So I tailed him safely until traffic cleared out completely and then at about 120 mph, I violently blew by him like he was going in reverse. And he had been going top speed the whole time on his bike, totally pegged out. So I let off the gas and tailed him for a few more miles until he took his exit. He gave me a big time thumbs up. It was fun and I was giggling the rest of the afternoon and I am sure he was too.
Old 10-06-2010, 07:28 AM
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I had taken the Porsche to town (12 miles) to get some chinese take out and on the way home this pick-up starts tailgating me big time. I'm doing 55-60 (50mph zone) so we come around a corner and there's a fairly long passing zone and he wizzes by with his big tires and straight pipes,etc..
It kind off pi$$ed me off that he had been tailing me so close so i hung back for a while knowing that my favorite S turn (marked 40mph) is coming up in about a 2 miles. As you exit the last turn there's a short passing zone. So i timed it just right, dropped it into 3rd coming into the corner and exited at about 70+ as luck would have it nobody was comeing the other way and i went by him like a blur. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face all the way home.
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Old 10-06-2010, 08:16 AM
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I was out on a "maiden voyage" after getting my 87'.

Well at home, me and my old man were putting around with her, checkin her out, changin the oil etc. Well, I put all the recommended fluid levels in, and my dad was off in the shop doin' something else. Well I go to put away the tools, and he walks by and didnt realize I put oil in already, so he adds a bunch more!
We put all the stuff away not realizing she is now WAAAAYYYY overfilled. Well, I go out for a short little freeway run, kinda "around the block" out where I live......

I get a Dodge Neon SRT4 behind me wanting to play, its totally "riced" big fart can and huge pointless wing, big strobe lights, under carriage lights, bass system, the big loud BOV venting out the hood etc. So this gangster wannabe kid pulls up along side me with his hoochie in the car. She is checkin me out, lookin at the car etc.....

Then he starts with the BOV bursts. WRRRRR PSSSSHHHHH WRRRRR PSSSSHHHHHHHH. So I let him do this a bit, and then I hammer it. I blow past him like he was in reverse.

Satisfied I take the exit to loop back to my place on the back roads. He pulls up at the light, and we have a few minutes to talk (long light, late at night). He gets REALLY pissed when his girl asks if I ever go to a certain club, and that she would like to see me there, etc etc.
He starts goin on and on how they are on the way to an import show, and how he is entering his car, and it has so many awards blah blah blah. I tell him I am doing some shakedown runs on the car. He wants to go again, who am i to disappoint? So again I waste him, now he is tailgating me, like just a few feet off my bumper. I just want to get home, so I REALLY drop the hammer. And then I look in my rearview to see a huge CLOUD of raw Oil blasting from my car. Apparently all the oil under boost was spewing out! I have worked on old air cooled cessna's, and if you give em too much they just puke it out on the belly, so I was not too concerned. all her vitals were ok and she sounded fine. He pulls off into a gas station, whole show car covered in oil and junk.

I guess my old girl had to put in HER 2 cents eh?

Oh, and the car was just fine after a long long bath and a refill to proper levels There was a inch deep pool at the opening of the Air cleaner housing, and it got in EVERYTHING!!!! even "misted" all over the back of the car, it was horrible. kinda like cleaning up your apartment after your psycho GF got hammered on Jaegermeister and threw up in your stereo. Thats kinda how I think of my 930.

Last edited by Groovie Ghoulie; 10-06-2010 at 08:47 AM..
Old 10-06-2010, 08:44 AM
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Batmobile style oil slick...gotta admit I never heard that one before, ha!

I bet his girlfriend was impressed.
Old 10-06-2010, 09:41 AM
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Who cares? she looked like a Mr.Ed's stunt double anyway.

Wait a sec...you just mighta named my car. If it spits flames after all my exhaust mods, it will be officially called the batmobile.
Old 10-06-2010, 09:52 AM
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Mr. Ed's stunt double....man, I'm laughing my ass off here! Needed that...
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Old 10-06-2010, 10:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Groovie Ghoulie View Post
Mr.Ed's stunt double
Does that mean she could eat an apple through a tennis racket?

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87 930, 993 turbo engine, RS Tuning 520PS/515lbf-ft, Arrow Rods, ARP hardware, Solid lifters, G50-50, RS Flywheel, 890nm Sachs clutch, RSR coil overs all round, 993 C4 calipers front, 930 fronts on the rear, Ruf Speedlines.....
Old 540 BMW, XB12S Modified, for being a total hooligan
Old 10-06-2010, 02:10 PM
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