OT... in case you need a good laugh!

[signit98]

Remember that - in some cases - it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a High School Diploma to fix one!

After every flight, Quantas Pilots fill out a form, called the "Gripe Sheet" in which they tell the mechanics about problems and issues with the aircraft... the mechanics then correct the problems on the form, add their own remarks and the pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight on the plane in question.

Never let it be sad that ground crews lack a sense of humor though... here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Quantas Pilots (P) and the solutions recorded by the maintenance crews (M)

By the way, Quantas is the ONLY major airline that has never had an accident...

(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
(M) Almost replaced Left inside main tire.

(P) Test flight OK, but auto-land very rough, almost non-functional.
(M) Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

(P) Something loose in Cockpit.
(M) Something tightened in Cockpit.

(P) Dead Bugs on Windshield.
(M) Live Bugs on Back-Order.

(P) Autopilot in Altitude-Hold Mode produces a 200' per minute descent.
(M) Can not reproduce problem on the ground.

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
(M) Evidence removed.

(P) DME Volume unbelievably loud.
(M) DME Volume set to a more believable level.

(P) Friction Locks cause Throttle levers to stick.
(M) That's what Friction Locks are FOR!

(P) IFF inoperative in OFF Mode.
(M) IFF ALWAYS inoperative in OFF Mode!

(P) Suspected Crack in Windshield.
(M) Suspect you are right.

(P) Number 3 Engine is Missing!
(M) Engine found on Right Wing after Brief Search!

(P) Aircraft Handles Funny.
(M) Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

(P) Target Radar Hums.
(M) Reprogrammed Target Radar with Lyrics.

(P) Mouse in Cockpit.
(M) Cat installed!

(P) Noise coming from under the Instrument Panel... sounds like a Midget pounding on something with a Hammer.
(M) Took Hammer Away from Midget!

Humor is important in Life!

[John Lyon]

Those are great, Ralf.

[signit98]

Yeah, they are, John... I have had them for over a year, just found them again and I thought I'd share...