How to Own a BMW

[Droptarotter]

This is a little dated, but I found it on my shop wall and thought I would share..........

How to own a BMW.


-Look as much like David Niven as possible, at least a moustache.
-Insist on watching if a mechanic must work on your machine, and take notes to insure completeness.
-Buy a bottle of touch up paint with your new machine and have custom paint quotes, just in case.
-Wear a white dust coat with a BMW logo on the pocket when performing even minor maintenance.
-Change oils and filters far too frequently.
-Drink only Heineken, from a Bavarian ceramic stein.
-Be on a first name basis with someone at either the Berlin or Munchen plant.
-Never ever street race. You may, on occasion, put the pass on an unbeliever by employing the maneuver Farina used on Nuvolari at Monte Carlo in 1936 while Nuvolari was on a Manx. This would only be done if it could be well done.
- Consistently discuss the Earle's forks and the earlier frames.
-Never blip the throttle at a stoplight, and certainly never redline the machine.
-Annoy your mechanic with complaints about obscure sounds and sensations that only you perceive.
-Recount to captive audiences your early experiences with BMW when you lived in Europe. Mention friend in the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards, 4 Chasseurs a Cheval, and the 4 Panzeraufklarungs.
-Be smug, for you obviously have only the best taste, being born to a higher station in life and owning the most prestigious motorcycle, the BMW.

[Trex]

I think we could have some fun up-dating that list. The only one that doesn't change over time is the one about changing oil too often. Well, maybe the last one, too.

For example, the Heineken beer statement could be changed to "Drink only micro brews with odd names that no one has ever heard of".

"No one will tell what you look like since you are ATGATT".

"Insist on watching a mechanic and read instructions to him from a sheet printed out from a web site".

"Buy a Wossner kit and take pictures of the installation and post them on PP".

"Be on a first name basis with BMW racers, like N8".

"Consistenly discuss the telelever front suspension".

"Blip the throttle at stoplights only when you have aftermarket pipes and you are wearing ear plugs".

"Annoy your mechanic with questions about the grease on the output splines".

"Recount experiences at The Dragon".

[BK81]

This thread made me smile. But why Heineken?

I hope people are aware that it's NOT a German beer.

Tastes very different from the Bavarian brews too...

Annoy your mechanic with complaints about obscure sounds and sensations that only you perceive.

I think I pulled that one yesterday. I normally always wear earplugs but yesterday I didn't while doing the two mile trip to the shop. I heard something... Could have just been the wheels turning!

[Bob Hancock]

Originally Posted by BK81

This thread made me smile. But why Heineken?

I hope people are aware that it's NOT a German beer.

Tastes very different from the Bavarian brews too...

Yep....it's a beer from Holland that all the Hollanders on this board pan. But I like it anyway.

[Droptarotter]

Originally Posted by BK81

This thread made me smile. But why Heineken?

Probably because that was one of the few import beers available when this was written.......I think I have had it on my wall since the '70's?

Trex.............those are some good updates!

Cheers

[kocook]

There is another type, the BMW Rider. He buys his dealer's employees beer and goes riding with them, with an occasional trip to the track for a bit of fun.

[bradzdotcom]

Originally Posted by Trex

"Annoy your mechanic with questions about the grease on the output splines".

i AM my mechanic and you are correct: i annoy the hell out of myself with stuff like that.

if i could only get me to get out of my garage and leave me alone, so i can just finish the job without all the questions and comments, it would take significantly less time.

[Droptarotter]

Originally Posted by bradzdotcom

i AM my mechanic and you are correct: i annoy the hell out of myself with stuff like that.

if i could only get me to get out of my garage and leave me alone, so i can just finish the job without all the questions and comments, it would take significantly less time.

Yeah.............I'm a Gemini also!

Cheers

[Rapid Dog]

...I for one don't find this thread amusing at all.
Some of us are serious BMW enthusiasts!



See more seriousness here...