08 Mini S crank no start.

[Miniman]

I bought the car in this state and have started testing but figured posting here might help. So far I know that the DME isn't powering the relay that sends power to fuses f2-f5 and from what I see they control the coils, injectors, crack and cam sensors and a few other things, essentially everything that makes it run. I power probed those fuses and the fuel pump kicked on but never tried to start it as that was just to test the components. The crank sensor is new, under hood fuse box was replaced, high pressure fuel pump is new, has a check engine light, OBD2 port won't communicate with my scanner (powers it up but won't connect), windows, locks and that whole center section of the dash don't work but all fuses are good. Has no injector pulse, no spark and that pretty much sums up what I know at this point, any help is appreciated!