I live in a kilometers country but the 911's speedo is in MPH.

She said "There is something dickie about this speedo. I was sticking to 100 but seemed to be passing everyone." :eek:

My wife doesn’t know right from left to save her life.

It creates a lot of friction when talking about directions. 🤪

[QUOTE=scottmandue;10081404

...."Pull out, I'm breathing fumes back here!!!"...[/QUOTE]

While after extensive "research" I find this anatomically not possible, I HAVE had complaints about the fumes...SmileWavy

In boot camp our drill Sargent put a rock in one guys right hand.............
to know the difference.

LOL, as a kid we had green and red handles on the bikes to learn left (red) and right (green).


My wife when talking about directions: "And then there is a playground on the right side. But you have to turn before the playground."

We just need to merge this thread with an older one - as this older thread has some very good examples:

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/334637-two-recent-exasperating-exchanges-grilf.html

I vividly remember a "argument" my parents had for many years over the same conversation. We are all going to visit some friends. My mom was giving directions. And she clearly said "turn right at the top of the hill" so we get got to the top of the hill and at the intersection my dad turned right. I was expecting him to do so and so was my brother. Instantly mom starts yelling "No left, turn left" but the turn was made already. And then the arguments started.

For years they would discuss that in a playful tone and my brother and I always agreed with dad except on occasions right before dinner if she threatened us liver and onions or cow tongue or some other horrible meal. My brother and I was easy to bribe with food. ;)

Many years later mom was riding with me in my 914. She said turn right here as we were almost in the intersection. Well the go-cart like handling made it easy. I did an very hard turn and made the corner easily with only a slight rear end drift. After that mom always said, in two blocks turn then!

My first x wife after trying to call one of her friends: "baby, I just got this weird message. It said the number you just dialed is busy, please hang up and try again. What should I do?"
Me: "hang up and try again?"

Been there! I always tell her that I'll stick with a known commodity, best not to take chances.

My wife is very much the "glass half-full type".

If I compliment her on looking nice tonight, her reply is "What you didn't think I look nice last night?" :rolleyes:

I pulled that trick once with my mom in the 944 on a damp road. She did not think it was near as funny as I did!

That story reminds me of one from years ago.

It wasn’t my wife, but a laborer that was doing some pressure washing for me in a basement at work.

I went to check on him and he asked if I had a mask.

I started laughing because he had the gas powered pressure washer INSIDE the basement with him and the fumes were killing him. 🤪

Prostitute: Faster, faster!

GF: Slower, slower!

Wife: Beige. I think I'll paint the ceiling beige.

When we were dating: “You look good in dark colors, but you never wear them.”

Old one from a friend:

You ever heard a hormone?

What???

I have. She kept moaning; "hurry up, hurry up, hurry up."

Yeah, I know it's a repost, but indulge me:

She (returning from shopping trip): I think there's something wrong with my car.
Me: Why?
She: Whenever it rains, the yellow light on the dashboard keeps flickering on and off.
Me: That's a worry, which light?
She: The one with the exclamation sign and the curvy arrow.
Me (Lightbulb): Does it tend to happen when you're going around corners?
She: Yeah, it does! How'd you know?
Me: That's the traction control....