"i'm an attorney"-"i dont give a flying.........who you are!"

ODDJOB UNO · ODDJOB UNO's Garage

today we have buddies son come over and set up latest greatest baddest fastest dell computer and wi-fi. soon to be wifey had an apple and is going thru the windows 7 introduction blah blah.

my new neighbor who bought a foreclosure south of me, has been doing the renovate action on it. my "wall"(key word) that i built is my southern boundry and his northern boundary.

fast rewind to clown before the clown who got foreclosed. he was a bonifide hillbilly that decided it was ok to run a hay business in this area. well it wasnt legal and the ensuent tractors semi trucks oil/diesel dumped on ground just wasnt cutting it. so..........aside from having words with him which fell on deaf and dumb ears, i decided to build a very very long and big wall against the south and east and west of my 1 1/2 acres of paradise. when i say long, and i say big, i mean (4) freeking semi flatbeds of freeking BLOCK! yeah i had bonfires with the pallets for years afterward.

anyway when i bought property we had survey checked and double checked and even had suryeyor who did original survey come out and "recap" his stakes(rebar). "capped" means his name,his I.D. # and date as per az. land dept. laws. legal beagles i call them. all is good until hillbilly starts his crap and we decide to build wall. yep hillbilly in his infinite wizdumb decides to pull caps on sw and se boundary stakes. this is against the law. obviously hard to prove........until i found caps thrown in dezert about 75 yards away. anyway we made mention of this to sherriff and zoning and he denied it. well we got surveyor back and GPS'd those suckers off again and capped them and blocklayer and i had pow wow on where to build wall. hillbilly wanted to argue with me over where land boundary was and he was so stoopid he didnt/couldnt pull the rebar anchored to mantle of the earth, and i kind of filled him in on proper behavior and the said consequences of poor behavior. after seeing my "happy bulge" he concluded i was in the legal right and willing to back it up with good 'ol western hospitality.

we decided on 8" back from property line so i could legally climb "my wall" and repair it on the other side and doofuss hillbilly couldnt say sqwat. and that would have been very STOOPID of him by this time as i wasnt freeking around and i had a very nice bulge in my pocket and it wasnt because i was happy to see him if ya catch my drift. anyway we proceeded to LAY THE HELL OUT OF BLOCK FOR A LONG DAMN TIME AND DRINK LOTS OF BEER IN THE SUMMER SUN! oh boy we are living now!

fast forward to today...........messing around with puter/wi-fi setup. need another plug in strip for 110ac. go buzz off and buy one at target. as i drive up road i notice hispanics painting my freeking wall a BABY POO MUSTARD(POO-PON) BROWN COLOR! WTF?????????????????????

well of course owner not around(probably lucky for him in retrospect) and i laid my very best "ALTO MO-FOS ALTO NO MAS NO MAS ! spanglish on these hispanics who if i had to bet my life......were illegal as hell, to finally get them to stop painting my wall. i get a phone number of owner.

i call him and explain the egregious errors of his ways in a very nice professional calm manner and explain that "I" built that wall, and i would appreciate him 1) asking me if i want my wall painted. 2) giving me a heads up that he was painting so overspray doesnt fly everywhere on vehicles trailers bikes quads building dog/katz etc. he stated he would come over and look at it. at this point its time for NIKON-D-5000 man to appear and take mega pictures of this dumbass stunt soon to be come to meeting jesus made for TV movie!

next i get a call, and he wants ME to get the building permit number and the land boundaries and stated that when he bought the house the wall was his property. YEP HERE WE GO!

i stated you are more than welcome to look up the proper legal land markers with the county and please by all means , you will find my permits and compliance by zoning. with the former hillbilly being a dork meister and the mega bucks i threw into this i was a blithering FOOL not to have my ducks in a row with zoning and my survey stakes.

his infamous words were to me " im an attorney and i own (5) companies and thats my wall." hmmmmmmmmmm i thought for a moment and retorted the above statement..."i dont give a flying POO who the hell you are, YOU are painting MY WALL on MY LAND and OVERSPRAYING VEHICLES/TRAILERS/BUILDINGS with your ILLEGAL ALIENS! and "furthermore if you dont cease and desist asap, im calling my attorney and ICE on your DUMBASS!

and i hung up.

next about an hour later i get another call. he states he checked with the county and found that " i need to supply him with the permit number". hmmmmm i think for a minute and say nothing. he then states that "when he bought house realtor told him that was his wall and the "hillbilly " had built the wall and it was his wall."

at this point i stated to him as i have to you here, how many flatbeds of block/rebar and cement i paid for, how many mixers of mud i mixed, how many pallets of miller lite/coors/coronas i bought, how i got ANOTHER SURVEY DONE, how all of this including my permits/zoning compliance/flood control sheets all signed off and sequestered in the HOLLOWED HALLS OF JUSTICE WITH THE COUNTY ZONING DEPT AVAILABLE ON LINE THIS VERY MOMENT, and he since hes such a brilliant attorney can look it up at his expense, his time, and if he continues to paint my freeking wall i will personally call the sheriff/ICE/my attorney and then we will see just how much more painting you do. "DONT EVER THREATEN ME WITH " IM AN ATTORNEY" you STOOPID DUMBASS"-click!

its now dark here and they did not see me come back because of all the pressure washer water spray cleaning the wall(hahahahaha LMFAO) and thought i was not at home. so me being me, we decided to "dry-gulch" them and not turn any lights on when i came back, they just turned down my road, went into neighbors and did 180 and then a 2nd driveby on my house. lil attorney pud(about mid 30's) is obviously not too up on his manners,people skils,intelligence re: land/zoning manners, nor the art of being sneaky.

DAMN I LOVE BEING LEGAL and I LOVE BEING DEAD NUTS RIGHT ! and that kiddies is WHY YOU GET BUILDING PERMITS AND DOCUMENT EVERYTHANG!

now lets see here thats now- ME (2) and lawyers (O). the first lawyer was my ex's that i kicked his ass up to his ears and actually WON my dee-vorce and got EVERYTHING I WANTED AND THEN SOME! hahahahaha after it was all over my attorney stated " he was really SCARED OF YOU, did ya see how fast he hauled ass into the elevator?" my attorney just before everything legal concluded told me to follow his ass to the elevator and then shake his hand. which i did! this lil twerp had the fear of god in his eyes, when he saw me approach, that i was gonna kick his ass sideways! hahahahaha....................

same good old feeling right now. think i jus might drink me some celebratory barley pops, crank the bose speakers and kick the living hell out of my drums..........cuz i can. life is good tonight!

varmint · 12-18-2009, 06:48 PM

send him a bill for removing the paint.

ODDJOB UNO · ODDJOB UNO's Garage

its a very very very POROUS BLOCK WALL, they will be playing HELL cleaning it monyana.

its beer thirty, kicking lawyers ass's up to their ears is tiring and way too much drama for this mellow kind of guy.

ForBell · 12-18-2009, 06:52 PM

sorry dude, too hard for me to read, i couldn't get enrolled.
next case.

Dantilla · 12-18-2009, 07:17 PM

In my experience, anytime an attorney uses "I'm an attorney" as a threat, they are in the wrong.

As a landlord, I know landlord/tenant law very well. A resident once used: "I'm a second-year law student!", and couldn't understand why I started laughing at her. She moved out shortly thereafter. Because I told her to. Using a legal eviction notice. So there.

Come to think of it, every time I've heard "I'm an attorney", I've won.

RWebb · RWebb's Garage

first, punct-two-a-shun is yer friend!

2nd, if a wall/fence is on a property line, then in many states it is shared - i.e. other guy can paint his side if he wants to

MotoSook · 12-18-2009, 08:07 PM

He's on his side of the PL by 8". I have neighbors who think 12" on my side of the PL is still their fence to paint and use as a plant box. WTF are they thinking. If they want a fence or wall they can put one up on their side of the PL. No mercy in dealing with these disrepectful POS. if they want respect they should respect my property.

Give em hell Uno!

bell · bell's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by RWebb

first, punct-two-a-shun is yer friend!

2nd, if a wall/fence is on a property line, then in many states it is shared - i.e. other guy can paint his side if he wants to

he built his wall 8 ft back from the property line so he can maintain both sides and stay on his property......

Heel n Toe · 12-18-2009, 09:08 PM

Way to go, UNO... great story... kickin' butt and takin' names is a good thing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bell

he built his wall 8 ft back from the property line so he can maintain both sides and stay on his property......

He said he built it 8 inches from the PL, not 8 feet.

"...we decided on 8" back from property line so i could legally climb "my wall" and repair it on the other side and doofuss hillbilly couldnt say sqwat..."

NineOhOne · 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bell

he built his wall 8 ft back from the property line so he can maintain both sides and stay on his property......

If you re-read his story (please God, don't make me do that again), you'll notice he said 8" off the property line, not 8'.

In some/most municipalities, the property owner that has to look at the wall/fence has the right to maintain/paint the side facing them. This gives the neighboring owner some protection against "nuisance" walls/fencing. AND, to add icing to the cake, the "leftover" property (8" in this case) on the neighboring side can eventually cede to the neighboring land owner if they maintain it continuously over a set period of time (typically years). I'm going through a similar pissing match, as we speak, with the state Turnpike Authority who placed a chain-link fence appx. 8" from the back-side of my building. Now they want to bill me for their maintenance of MY land. I can't squeeze between the building and THEIR fence to cut the grass! F-it...I'm going in with weed-killer and a blow torch at night (they won't let me stand/work from their side of the fence, either, as I would be considered a "pedestrian on the Turnpike"). Geniuses. Gotta love state employees...

That being said, if someone ever says to me in a (civilian) argument, "I'm a cop/attorney/wealthy, etc.", I reply "Suck it...that doesn't matter here".

Rusty Heap · Rusty Heap's Garage

see post here.

problem solved.

My Neighbor's House Burned Down.....

Heel n Toe · 12-18-2009, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NineOhOne

If you re-read his story (please God, don't make me do that again), you'll notice he said 8" off the property line, not 8'.

There seems to be an echo in here.

NineOhOne · 12-18-2009, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heel n Toe

There seems to be an echo in here.

Sorry, your post wasn't visible when I began typing mine. I had to consult my attorney. Just called him again. He said you should alter your post...

Heel n Toe · 12-18-2009, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NineOhOne

Sorry, your post wasn't visible when I began typing mine. I had to consult my attorney. Just called him again. He said you should alter your post...

My attorney objects and asserts that you are lying on the basis of the 40-minute difference in the time stamps, and that even a blind cave newt can type faster than that.

NineOhOne · 12-18-2009, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heel n Toe

My attorney objects and asserts that you are lying on the basis of the 40-minute difference in the time stamps, and that even a blind cave newt can type faster than that.

I called my attorney and he consulted with his legal technical advisor. He mentioned something about "cache". I told him to send you any future invoices regarding this matter.

Heel n Toe · 12-18-2009, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NineOhOne

I called my attorney and he consulted with his legal technical advisor. He mentioned something about "cache". I told him to send you any future invoices regarding this matter.

My attorney doesn't need a legal technical advisor, but says to send those invoices on because he has a shredder and loves to use it on stuff like that.

NineOhOne · 12-18-2009, 10:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heel n Toe

My attorney doesn't need a legal technical advisor...

True...as with most attorneys who advertise on bus benches...

Heel n Toe · 12-18-2009, 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NineOhOne

True...as with most attorneys who advertise on bus benches...

My attorney doesn't advertise anywhere, and heretofore said you and your attorney should proceed to the local haberdashery tomorrow morning and get you measured for your slander suit.

NineOhOne · 12-18-2009, 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heel n Toe

My attorney doesn't advertise anywhere, and heretofore said you and your attorney should proceed to the local haberdashery tomorrow morning and get you measured for your slander suit.

Any good attorney would know the difference between "slander" and "libel"...

nostatic · nostatic's Garage

My attorney wants to bill both of you for her time spent reading this thread. Expect papers on Monday.

She reads *really* slow...