Making new friends. You any good at it?

[vash]

Made some new contacts this past week. Had some good face numbing laughs.

It was odd. Our wives planned this “play date” for the husbands.

Damn it if we didn’t have the greatest time. Making new friends is sometimes a challenge for me. I can’t force it.

I had house guests for New Years. A couple. They sometimes seem hungry for new friends as well. I believe that’s why they drove up to hang out. I think as I get older, the people around me become more important. They embraced the idea to go to a strangers home to meet up. My friend is very shy, his wife isn’t. They were great and social.

We might now have a new hunting friend to add to the mix. I’ll take him spring turkey hunting as a maiden voyage.

How about you? You getting out there? Making friends? It’s a perishable skill.

[legion]

Nope. I'm horrible at it. I'm better at losing existing friends than making new ones.

I think it comes down to the older I get, the less I trust other people. The way I manage not being conned, deceived, stolen from, taken advantage of, or having my identity stolen is to not talk about myself and withdraw. I also find myself getting easily bored/irritated by self-absorbed people, so I mostly just end up sitting off by myself.

On New Year's Eve I was thinking how much I didn't want to go to a friend's party or another friend's brunch the next day as I just get bored with the vapid conversation and end up watching the kids by myself. Fortunately my three year old started puking so I had and excuse not to attend either.

[Zeke]

I'll take new friends over old ones.

[onewhippedpuppy]

I have my old college friends, and then new friends who are more like good acquaintances. We get along, hang out and drink beer, and are involved in the same kid-centric activities, but I suspect that post-kids we won't see them. Wichita is a very inbred city in that many people were born here and never left, and are now living in the same neighborhoods and sending their kids to the same schools. It makes for a very clique-ish environment where it's hard to break in and make meaningful friends, even if people aren't malicious about it. People just don't seem all that interested in meeting new people. Personally I enjoy meeting new people and having good friends to hang out with, so it's one of the (many) things I dislike about this city.

[slow&rusty]

My best friend is my metric socket set...so no

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by slow&rusty

My best friend is my metric socket set...so no

The whole set ?

[jyl]

I don't have enough time for the friends I do have.

[reachme]

my new years resolution is to find a scotch I like. I have a few and they are ok but I believe there is one perfect for me.
Went to a few holiday parties and let that drop that I'm looking for the perfect scotch. I had a group form around me at each one not of blow hards looking to boast but people suggesting where tastings were, best places to buy, different characteristics, whatever they could offer.
Before that only topics people knew me for were kids, cars or technology so I met a bunch of new people I plan to kick back with in the new year. and drink peoples scotch. . .

[Chocaholic]

No...and don’t try. Now that kids are grown, work and family are enough to deal with.

[sammyg2]

Making new friends. You any good at it?

Darn it, one more thing to add to the bucket list:
try to make new friends.

[jyl]

Suppose we applied a zero-sum rule. For every new friend you make, you have to cut off an existing friend. That would be interesting.

[asphaltgambler]

Originally Posted by Zeke

I'll take new friends over old ones.

+1 - a few years ago my wife and I decided to start ditching 99% of our old 'friends'. None of them had any real value as a matter fact more like vacuums sucking the life in one way or another out of us.

We then started networking within our church as well as other places, picked a few interesting couples and then went from there. We now have a few people that are slowing becoming friends.

[sammyg2]

Originally Posted by jyl

Suppose we applied a zero-sum rule. For every new friend you make, you have to cut off an existing friend. That would be interesting.

What some people call friends, I would call acquaintances.

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by jyl

Suppose we applied a zero-sum rule. For every new friend you make, you have to cut off an existing friend. ...

Unless yer Sammy....how does that get ya to down to zero? Just a few more left to go ....

[jwasbury]

I typically make friends who I share hobbies and interests with pretty easily.

I met a guy at a local bar, few months ago. I was there solo, eating some dinner at the bar. He was out with a few people including his wife for food/cocktails, and I ended up getting an invite back to their place for more cocktails. He saw I was wearing a T-shirt with a bunch of race tracks on it, and he was certain we would get along. Turns out he owns a German Auto repair business.

Since then have introduced my wife to them, got together for drinks, again for dinner and spent New Year's Eve at their house for a party with a bunch of other folks.

[VincentVega]

I've met new people through activities, I like it! Pretty cool to have people that enjoy sailing, turns out we have more in common too. Plus, having an extra hand on the boat never hurts. Oh, and they bring beer!

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by VincentVega

I've met new people through activities, I like it! Pretty cool to have people that enjoy sailing, turns out we have more in common too. Plus, having an extra hand on the boat never hurts. Oh, and they bring beer!

.....and they STILL end up drinking yours !

[jcommin]

Friends or acquaintances? There is a difference.

I have a handful of friends - friends I have known for many, many years. I can say some of them are as close to me as my brother. I have this saying "will you walk over the fire for me?" My metaphoric test of friendship.

As I have gotten older, I find it easier to talk to people. I belong to a few art guilds (it is a serious hobby of mine) and I belong to a Greek Orthodox religious group. I can talk shop to or be social all nice people. Are they my friends - no.

I also find I have no tolerance for BS anymore - and when this happens, I am cordial but will walk away.


Here is some old Greek wisdom " the only friends you have are the Presidents in your pocket" There is some truth to this.

[ckelly78z]

My wife and I are not people people, so no, we generally hang out with 1 or 2 couples we've known for 10-20 years, and don't go searching for new ones.

I notice that some go out of their way to make eye contact with me, to connect on a deeper level, or just to discuss mundane things, which drives me crazy in their insecurity.

Honestly, I could be happy living solo in an RV with my dog, as a nomad.

[ckelly78z]

Originally Posted by jwasbury

I typically make friends who I share hobbies and interests with pretty easily.

I met a guy at a local bar, few months ago. I was there solo, eating some dinner at the bar. He was out with a few people including his wife for food/cocktails, and I ended up getting an invite back to their place for more cocktails. He saw I was wearing a T-shirt with a bunch of race tracks on it, and he was certain we would get along. Turns out he owns a German Auto repair business.

Since then have introduced my wife to them, got together for drinks, again for dinner and spent New Year's Eve at their house for a party with a bunch of other folks.

This would drive me nuts with anxiety ^^^^