Any of you fighting the video game battle with your kids ?

[fastfredracing]

I finally reached my breaking point, and took it away last weekend.
What a transformation. In the matter of 2 days, my 13 year old boy , went from a disrespectful,miserable backtalking pos, to a pleasant human being again.
he simply does not have the will power to disconnect once he starts, and we found ourselves fighting the same battle every night of the week .
When he left for school this morning, my wife and I were shocked at how pleasant he seemed.
We are moving his computer to the living area of our house, and limiting his time to just an hour an evening , and maybe a good long session one day on the weekends, if he has met all his goals for the week.
It is the only thing he wants to do . He now , has to put hours in at the rental houses, to earn video game time . No exceptions.
Have any of you had to fight this battle? My nephew is 18 now, and has not left his room since his early teens . It is the only interest he has in life . Sad

[Seahawk]

I set strict time limits on my son's video game playing when he was growing up...then strictly enforced them.

I brooked no argument since arguing with me about video games had consequences as well.

[stomachmonkey]

A lot of it can be the types of games they play.

Not so much the content but the communities.

Online games with large communal multiplay can be hit or miss.

It's not different than him falling in with "the wrong crowd" in your neighborhood or school.

Social circles and who they tend to attract are no different in the real or virtual world.

My son has low level autism, we would have called it Aspergers as they no longer use that term.

Kid is scary smart, scores off the charts in most every measure but virtually incapable of social interaction. Ordering a drink from a waitress at dinner is difficult for him to manage. He's funny and sweet when you can get him to engage which is rarely.

Still he's got a pretty good sense of self, knows what he likes and who he is.

The majority of his friends are virtual. He has maybe a couple in the real world and thats not by his choice. He's different and it's obvious so few of his peers engage him. He'll be 16 this year and has only ever been invited to maybe 3 birthday parties, ever.

For him his having his social circle online creates an equal playing field. No pre judgement of who he is.

And he self moderates the people he chooses to engage with online. If they curse, he's out of there. If they are mean, spiteful, or unfair for no reason he's gone.

It's really an individual thing, how much of a problem it is or is not comes down to the kid.

Although, having been in the business 25+ years I would agree, limiting time and making them earn it is a must.

[Gogar]

[Tervuren]

Seems like you are doing the right thing.

I use skills I picked up from online games as useful in life, but I also note a major change in the end result of many major modern titles. The intent of the largest corporations has changed the scene.

I also did my own modding, I spent more time at that age oriented towards making game content then playing it. Of course that included playing it to make sure it had the desired end result and was bug free.

The most important skill was people management, the modding helped to with my present job in R&D.

I believe the cause/effect you see indicates you are taking a better path than what was before.

[MAH77]

1 hour per day Friday, Saturday and Sunday night for my 8 yo and my 12 yo. None during the week school week. It is literally a very addictive drug that they go through withdrawal when they stop. My wife and I are the only ones who know the password to the computer.

[fastfredracing]

Originally Posted by stomachmonkey

A lot of it can be the types of games they play.

Not so much the content but the communities.

Online games with large communal multiplay can be hit or miss.

It's not different than him falling in with "the wrong crowd" in your neighborhood or school.

Social circles and who they tend to attract are no different in the real or virtual world.

My son has low level autism, we would have called it Aspergers as they no longer use that term.

Kid is scary smart, scores off the charts in most every measure but virtually incapable of social interaction. Ordering a drink from a waitress at dinner is difficult for him to manage. He's funny and sweet when you can get him to engage which is rarely.

Still he's got a pretty good sense of self, knows what he likes and who he is.

The majority of his friends are virtual. He has maybe a couple in the real world and thats not by his choice. He's different and it's obvious so few of his peers engage him. He'll be 16 this year and has only ever been invited to maybe 3 birthday parties, ever.

For him his having his social circle online creates an equal playing field. No pre judgement of who he is.

And he self moderates the people he chooses to engage with online. If they curse, he's out of there. If they are mean, spiteful, or unfair for no reason he's gone.

It's really an individual thing, how much of a problem it is or is not comes down to the kid.

Although, having been in the business 25+ years I would agree, limiting time and making them earn it is a must.

This is almost our situation to a T. interesting ..

[flipper35]

Originally Posted by stomachmonkey

A lot of it can be the types of games they play.

Not so much the content but the communities.

Online games with large communal multiplay can be hit or miss.

It's not different than him falling in with "the wrong crowd" in your neighborhood or school.

Social circles and who they tend to attract are no different in the real or virtual world.

My son has low level autism, we would have called it Aspergers as they no longer use that term.

Kid is scary smart, scores off the charts in most every measure but virtually incapable of social interaction. Ordering a drink from a waitress at dinner is difficult for him to manage. He's funny and sweet when you can get him to engage which is rarely.

Still he's got a pretty good sense of self, knows what he likes and who he is.

The majority of his friends are virtual. He has maybe a couple in the real world and thats not by his choice. He's different and it's obvious so few of his peers engage him. He'll be 16 this year and has only ever been invited to maybe 3 birthday parties, ever.

For him his having his social circle online creates an equal playing field. No pre judgement of who he is.

And he self moderates the people he chooses to engage with online. If they curse, he's out of there. If they are mean, spiteful, or unfair for no reason he's gone.

It's really an individual thing, how much of a problem it is or is not comes down to the kid.

Although, having been in the business 25+ years I would agree, limiting time and making them earn it is a must.

We let our kids play a bit in the evenings assuming their chores and homework are done and we seldom allow them to play online with others since there are so many idiots online these days that can't behave like your son obviously can. Weekends they have a little more leeway and LAN parties are an all day thing but there is a lot of socialization going on during those.

We do play a lot of multiplayer stuff together though. From Star Wars: Empire at War to Left for Dead to air combat, both coop and against each other.

We have also had LAN parties where some of the kids grew up in that caustic multiplayer community and they would get hammered pretty hard since they did not know what teamwork was. Funny us old guys, some former military, whipping the young kids in battle games.

[pwd72s]

Our kid just turned 49. She can do as she pleases...

[T77911S]

I never let video games in my house with my daughter until she was in her teens.
she never got hooked.
was always outside with her horse.

my son on the other hand is a different story.
he was 12 when we adopted him.
he was highly addicted to VD games AND his cell phone.

those 2 things caused a lot of problems between us that are just now getting over....after he moved out at 17. he is now 19.

if we took his electronics away from he would literally do nothing expect go to bed.

he would stay up ALL night playing games and sleep all day.
he still plays games now but he has shown much more responsibility even though he just moved back in.
he leaves next month for UTI, nascar engine school.

so yes, the phone alone frustrated me to no end. it actually does with people I don't know because I just cant understand or tolerate people that cant function without a phone in their hand. I see people at work with the phone in one hand and working with the other. drives me nucking futs.

[Joe Bob]

Total ban...........

[Brando]

Originally Posted by stomachmonkey

A lot of it can be the types of games they play.

Not so much the content but the communities.

Online games with large communal multiplay can be hit or miss.

It's not different than him falling in with "the wrong crowd" in your neighborhood or school.

Social circles and who they tend to attract are no different in the real or virtual world.

This, 100%. Having played video games since I was 8, I can attest that it is the communities for online games that have the most impact. And I agree that limiting time is the right approach. If your son wants to play online games, scope out the communities and limit his involvement as you see fit. Also, your network router can be a good way to limit play time but allow him to still do things like homework online.

[flipper35]

One of the few places our son can play online with others is Robocraft because the community there has been pretty respectful of others so far.

I will say our kids like to do other things like hunting (and other shooting sports like the Texas Star and other steel) and fishing, riding bikes, hiking, snowboarding, swimming. In the summer they are in the pool as often as they can. The daughter does Muay Thai as well.

As with anything, moderation is key.

[fastfredracing]

Funny, the day I post this. My wife just sends me an email from sons teacher. She says that Fred has been remarkable so far this week. has been on point , and pleasant, like she has never seen him .
he is straight a student, but can be a challenge sometimes. he has been falling asleep in class lately , and actin out a lot . All of the signs were there that we had to do something .
She has no idea that we took the actions we did .

[flipper35]

Good deal!

[BK911]

I read somewhere that almost 30% of kids in JHS or HS are on some type of ADD meds, as compared to <10% 20 or so years ago.
Read somewhere else that TV, smart phones, and video games cram so much info into your brain at such a high rate, that one can experience depression, boredom and ADD when unplugged.
If true, than most of the kids on meds could get off the meds if they just unplugged for awhile.
My girls are too young for video games or phones, but we do limit the amount of cartoons they watch.

[john70t]

Kids are supposed to have ADD.
It gets them inquisitive about everything and be able to pull it together. They can multi-task later on.

Kids are supposed to be hyperactive.
It gives them energy do everything they want in life. It needs to be released the right way. Just ask any dog owner.

Kids are supposed to have Autism.
It gives them exceptional memory and mathematical skills with the ability to tune out petty emotional relationships.

[MBAtarga]

Just please don't mention anything to my wife about cutting down my Pelican OT time! I can and do live without the video game habit.

[rcooled]

Originally Posted by john70t

Kids are supposed to have ADD.

Kids are supposed to be hyperactive.

Kids are supposed to have Autism.

Most idiotic post of the year so far...

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by john70t

Kids are supposed to have ADD.
It gets them inquisitive about everything and be able to pull it together. They can multi-task later on.

Kids are supposed to be hyperactive.
It gives them energy do everything they want in life. It needs to be released the right way. Just ask any dog owner.

Kids are supposed to have Autism.
It gives them exceptional memory and mathematical skills with the ability to tune out petty emotional relationships.

You don't know a thing about ADD or ADHD (I do) and apparently anything about Autism. Either that or the post should have been in green.