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Wayner, that's either the world's most positive attitude or you've been smoking some goooood stuff.

I agree though, most of out little setbacks really don't account for much. As my father used to say, "In fifty years, neither you nor I will care about this."

Don't sweat the small stuff. (It's all small stuff.)

Best
Les

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Old 01-19-2020, 12:18 PM
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I don’t know, Wayner. Sometimes seeking a little commiseration isn’t a bad thing. Plus it was a good story with a classic plot, how often does that happen in life?
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Old 01-19-2020, 01:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oldE View Post
Wayner, that's either the world's most positive attitude or you've been smoking some goooood stuff.

Best
Les
I've been accused of that recently.

I've simply reframed the world around me, and I've repositioned myself as a result.

There are problems in the world and it is my job to go out and find them.
Who knew on a cross country trip in a 500,000km truck that I would find a transmission problem in Duluth, and a driveshaft problem in Winnipeg?

Like a superhero I'm out there solving these problems so that you won't have to

People worried on my 40,000km motorcycle trip (including a side trip along the way to the arctic ocean) on a 17 year old motorcycle, "what if something breaks in the middle of nowhere when you are all alone?"

ME: well, I'l probably throw myself into the ditch and kick and scream a bit, maybe even cry... then I'll set up my tent, go to sleep and fix it in the morning."

Nowadays i don't even need the ditch part.

Quote:
Originally Posted by wdfifteen View Post
I don’t know, Wayner. Sometimes seeking a little commiseration isn’t a bad thing. Plus it was a good story with a classic plot, how often does that happen in life?
I agree, but the seemingly innocuous attention to the negative can also be addictive.


In moderation it makes us realize that we are not alone and we all suffer setbacks, that the world has not placed us in its sights to destroy. Commiseration offers that kind of perspective that **** happens. Maybe even allowing us to glean a few coping skills from others, or, at least taking a little bit of the sting out of the situation. The best is that sharing those stories can help us laugh at how what seemed like an insurmountable problem was something to look back and laugh at.

In the worst example it becomes a game of one-upmanship about how much worse we have it:
...oh ya, no oil pressure? That's nothing. I lost my wife, my house and ended up living in a car for an entire winter. Top THAT! (and someone will, and the downward spiral in each of our minds continues...concluding that if **** happened to me, and worse **** happened to you, then the world is a really ****ty place to live and who needs to live there?

If my optimism rubs off on at least one person who is feeling down on their luck, then being contrarian on this thread has been worth it.

My new perscription for myself and others is rather than commiserate and join in ***** sessions which can ultimately bring everybody down if not careful, instead to surround myself with cheer leaders and be the cheer leader of others.

Lets share funny stories, like the time I had been living in my car, finally got my own living room and couch again, but my quiet moments kept getting interrupted by Ikea shoppers passing through, some even asking if they could try sitting on the couch. I even came back to my living room one day and the couch had a sold sticker on it, but by the next week they had delivered a new one!

I don't want to wait fifty years to laugh about it, I want to find the situation laughable right from the beginning.

Fred has a ton of Funny stories and interesting situations. Thats the spin I want to hear :-)
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Last edited by wayner; 01-19-2020 at 02:49 PM..
Old 01-19-2020, 02:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wayner View Post


In the worst example it becomes a game of one-upmanship about how much worse we have it:
Yeah, I know. This morning I had to walk uphill in the snow to school, it was 11 degrees out and I graduated in 1968! Fred is such a pussy.
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Old 01-19-2020, 05:13 PM
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Quite the converse for a "bad car day" for me today. I traded 2 very well used old Subaru Outbacks (running and driving) in my driveway straight up for a 2000 model Bluebird School Bus (running and driving) with no seats behind the first row.

Then moved almost everything I had in a 20X25 rental storage into the school bus. That alone was costing me $200 a month in rent.

Tomorrow I will take the old Subarus off of my insurance policy. That was costing me $600 a year.

The seller of the school bus helped me load all my storage stuff in it and will let me leave it on his property for the remainder of the year rent free.

So to recap: $200 a month for 11 months = $2200 + one year of car insurance at $600= $2800 I won't be paying out in rent and insurance, I've still got the equity of a running and driving Bluebird school bus storing all my junk elsewhere, and 2 less vehicles in my driveway so my neighbors will love me even more.

Last edited by SCadaddle; 01-19-2020 at 06:47 PM..
Old 01-19-2020, 06:43 PM
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She dropped her computer in the airport security line today. We did have a decent day, BBQ in Lockhart, TX on the way home from the airport cured some ill. Have to keep positive, but she's not the same person anymore. I think she's throwing in the towel. 3 bad car accidents in 6 years, pain meds, family, I think she has said screw it all.
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Last edited by mattdavis11; 01-19-2020 at 09:14 PM..
Old 01-19-2020, 09:04 PM
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BTW, I didn't mean to accidentally shut down a good rant thread.

I forgot to mention that it is ok to kick and scream a little bit and let those feelings out, or admit that it left you a little rattled. don't bury that.
but then spin it positive. It becomes easier to take the next thing in stride.

CHALLENGE:
if your day goes sideways post a rant here.
Add a second empty post as a reply (placeholder)

As the banter ensues, take the positive from it. Then leave the original post but edit the place holder with your new outlook.

I think that might be useful.
Fred's show of strength posting here is a good example rather than keeping it in, and I also admire the positive in the posts above.
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Last edited by wayner; 01-21-2020 at 06:55 AM..
Old 01-21-2020, 06:50 AM
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The bad: For about the 5th time I got in my car with my new iPhone in my pocket and it's so big it caught on my hip bone and jammed me in the ribs when I folded myself into the car.

The good: I have a new iPhone.
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Old 01-21-2020, 06:59 AM
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Old 01-21-2020, 07:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wayner View Post
= = = = = =
Whoa, Fred and everyone else reading this thread and thinking about your bad day, BE VERY CAREFUL! Language is important and this stuff is toxic.

Psychology tells us that anything that moves us towards our goals makes us feel good,
and that anything that gets in the way of our goals makes us feel bad.

You got to change your mindset and your language on this stuff or you may find yourself in a very deep pit if you get hit with a few more setbacks after setbacks.

I did. It wasn't pretty.

Since then, I have learned to reframe absolutely every negative event.
and now, nothing bad ever happens to me.

= = = = =EXAMPLE for FRED= = = =
Hey guys, you won't believe this.

I just sold our M3 to a guy. Can you believe my luck?
I enjoyed the car but now it is time to move on and I was lucky enough to find a happy buyer and I have money in the bank!

You'll never believe what happened next!
I'm the luckiest SOB in the world.

My Denali dropped to 0 oil pressure but I still made it home!
Next, the window regulator on the cayenne broke right in the driveway. Can you imagine if it was on a road trip, had to park it that way overnight and all our stuff got stolen? I thrive on preventative maintenance.

But that's not all! Next I discovered that the Denali engine was fine. It was just a sensor.

I'm the luckiest SOB in the world.

I hope your days are as good as mine!
All the best to everyone
signed Fred.
(Wayner)
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Old 01-21-2020, 07:45 AM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #30 (permalink)
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It could have been a lot worse:
Quote:
As I was walking out to my 928...
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Old 01-21-2020, 07:46 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wayner View Post
= = = = = =
Whoa, Fred and everyone else reading this thread and thinking about your bad day, BE VERY CAREFUL! Language is important and this stuff is toxic.

Psychology tells us that anything that moves us towards our goals makes us feel good,
and that anything that gets in the way of our goals makes us feel bad.
Reminds me of a quote from an old book I've read
"For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he".

I agree with wayner.
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Old 01-21-2020, 07:51 AM
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Pump the brakes there Wayner, and stop trying to ruin my little pity party for myself .
JK, I admire guys like you who can always find the positive . As I get older , I am getting much better at it .
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Old 01-21-2020, 08:58 AM
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Old 01-21-2020, 09:48 AM
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Just went out to run an errand and my truck battery is dead.

I hope everyone is happy now.
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Old 01-21-2020, 01:16 PM
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Seems to be working OK after an hour on the old Sears charger that used to belong to my grandfather. I swapped it out for my trickle charger which showed 90% charged so will check again later and in the morning.

Sucks getting stranded somewhere.....
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Old 01-21-2020, 02:14 PM
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The bad: For about the 5th time I got in my car with my new iPhone in my pocket and it's so big it caught on my hip bone and jammed me in the ribs when I folded myself into the car.

The good: I have a new iPhone.
I've been thinking about this ever since you posted it, trying to figure out how I would have thought about the situation, and then this morning it struck me. I WOULDN'T have.

Rather than try to reframe some things in life, I think they should just be minimized down to nothing.
As insignificant as getting hit by a bug in the face shield during a four month motorcycle trip.

I don't even remember those bugs, and, in the moment the biggest response from me might have been hmmm, and then I would have forgotten about it just as quickly.

Im not specifically thinking about this iPhone incident, but in general, I think that when big things are challenging us, even the littlest things also come across our radar as significant, when in other times they wouldn't register at all.

Aside from positive lessons learned and take aways from a situation that can help me in the future, I want most things that could be negative to simply be insignificant (even the big ones).

So, back to the cel phone.
Its either a hmm, or a temporary Argh! moment at best, or, its life way of giving you a friendly reminder that you have not forgotten your phone
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Old 01-27-2020, 08:37 AM
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Seems to be working OK after an hour on the old Sears charger that used to belong to my grandfather. I swapped it out for my trickle charger which showed 90% charged so will check again later and in the morning.

Sucks getting stranded somewhere.....
Just reading the line "that used to belong to my grandfather." made me smile. I have a few small tools which belonged to my Dad and some more which were used by my wife's great grandfather. When I hold those in my hands it makes me think of them and smile. Some part of me slows down and contemplates the best way to use them.

It is good to have those connections (especially since they are useful!)

Best
Les
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Old 01-27-2020, 11:28 AM
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I'm very sarcastic, somewhat pessimistic (never disappointed) and I've been told funny (esp about those horror stories, so dark humor)...

I do agree With Wayne though (maybe not about this particular incident, complain away Fred, but generally speaking), this stuff can spiral over time, or people start knowing you as "that negative guy"... I was reading recently in some science rag that this type of thinking can actually rewire your brain over time, into a negative pattern.... Physically... And vice versa for those annoying positive people... It's really not my cup of tea but I think his suggestion has merit and is worth a shot... Reframing, w/o involving religion, worth a shot....
Old 01-27-2020, 02:59 PM
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Just reading the line "that used to belong to my grandfather." made me smile. I have a few small tools which belonged to my Dad and some more which were used by my wife's great grandfather. When I hold those in my hands it makes me think of them and smile. Some part of me slows down and contemplates the best way to use them.

It is good to have those connections (especially since they are useful!)

Best
Les
Great post, Les.....I'm sure many here can relate.

If there's one thing that seems to be passed along more from generation to generation - it's tools.

I have a small hand trowel with my Dad's initials painted on the wood handle. I treasure that little trowel more than any tool I have.

Thanks again for your nice and so very appropriate post.

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Old 01-27-2020, 03:06 PM
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