Can't Get My Lipids Up
 

Every damn year, I spend the winter trying to eff up my lipid profiles. Never works - blood test always comes back as 'normal' and 'safe'.

This year I tried hog jowels in addition to bacon and some ham - not just ONE kind of hog jowels but TWO different types.

Put it in beans, put it in X, put it in Y. Cooked with the grease - fried foods yada yada.

Even made some into cracklins (like chitlins but w/o the intestinal fortitude).

No dice. Still healthy.

No wonder all the decent townspeople couldn't get rid of my ancestors.

I could try to mainline some cold pork... but where's the taste in that?



Any ideas?

What the problem is... It's the alcohol, the red wine. it disolves all the fat and grease, and cholesterol (whatever THAT is) outa your blood vessels.

Actually what you eat has a small effect on your cholesterol level. I wish I could give you some of mine. I stopped my statin last September & went three months without any meds. It was 358 when I took my test before starting on a statin again.

I've read that lipid levels have minimal if not zero effect on cardiovascular health and the incidence of stroke and that statin drugs were simply major big pharma hype.

If your goal is to ruin your health, you have LOTS of options.

Find a Mexican market (We have Vallarta's) that sell "chicharron con carnudo". You'll find it in the deli section with the warm food. You'll thank me later.

Maybe you are an alcoholic and have cirrhosis? A part of your body's cholesterol is made in the liver. The other part comes from your diet. Maybe you're on a statin and its doing its job? In any case, there is no logical reason why you should be trying to raise your lipid levels.

But if you must, try this:

4 egg yolks in an omelet made with heavy whipping cream every morning and melt some full fat cheddar cheese on it every morning. Eat it with buttered toast. Have a pint of Haagen Daz ice cream for dessert. Try this for a few months and then recheck your lipid panel. That should get you where you're trying to go.

I think the 'problem' is that my ancestors spent a lot of time eating mastodons

sure cure: drink a cup of bleech. 8 full ounces.

Hey Webby

Maybe a few bologna & whipped cream sandwiches might get things stirred up

Cheers
JB

Or try the Elvis Presley sandwich peanut butter and banana sandwich, deep fried of course.

My family has very low cholesterol. Mine has never been above 100. When dad turned 80 he had another physical. His doctor asked what he did to keep his cholesterol low. He replied, one bowl of butter pecan ice cream before bed every night.

There is good cholesterol as well.
It lines the arteries and helps strategic circulation and absorption.
It helps move material through 30ft of GI.
The adipose layer is the largest organ in the human body and has multiple functions. It is...fat.


But try the deep fried twinky diet for a few months and see how it goes.

I seems to me to be a lot hereditary. I have high cholesterol (controlled by medication & HDL of 55), and I know other members of my family have high levels. My wife has an LDL below 100 and HDL of 69. Nobody in her family has had circulatory problems, but some have had cancer.

I.V. mayonnaise.... It has to work

My father in law was a skinny guy that rode a bicycle over 100 miles per week. His doctor had some test and wanted him of of his cholesterol meds for a month. After a month they tested his levels and it was approaching 400. Meds kept it under 150. He died from alzheimer's and it was unfortunate his cardiac health was so good as he lived a long time in a very unfortunate state no human should have to endure.