Redneck inspections 101 (how not to do it)- for your entertainment
 

(for entertainment purposes only)

I was trying to get our spare car- mitsubishi endeavor- inspected.
The front brakes were shot, so I replaced them. The battery was dead, so I replaced that.

In the process of replacing the battery- well- that causes the airbag warning light to go off in the dashboard... so that needs a dealer reset. Common issue. An SRS light will fail it. I am the only one who drives the car, so I'm not concerned.

So...the dealer is not convenient. I can do this quicker and easier. I promptly remove the dash and cover the SRS LED light with paper.

Looks legit- you'd never know.


But then I worry that the paper will catch fire- even with the low temp of the led....

So... I remove the dash again, and cover it with tape. I don't have electrical tape handy, so I use scotch tape and sharpy marker over the black tape.

But that's not enough to totally block the light,

So I add a second layer of tape and sharpy marker.

This should work- but somewhere during my brake replacement, I must have knocked an ABS sensor wheel movement wire loose-

Now the ABS light and the DSC light is on.

It's raining out (so I'm not pulling off tires and troubleshooting today), so I pull the dash again (it's only 2 bolts) and tape the ABS light closed.

But now I notice the passenger airbag light being on. That will surely lead to the inspector getting nosey,

So I put some toolboxes in the front seat to make the inspector think that the passenger airbag light is only going off b/c of weight in the front seats with no seatbelt on.

But that makes the passenger "buckle up" red light go off. If the inspector is smart, he will pull the buckle over the toolboxes and buckle it in, where he will discover the airbag light is still on.

So I pull on the center console-

A previous circuit city employee had installed an aftermarket stereo- where he had broken the center console tabs- so I pulled the center dash and disconnected the passenger airbag light, and then carried all the toolboxes back inside.

If you are keeping score-

SRS light off
ABS light off
Passenger airbag light off
Passenger buckle light off


Now- all lights are off. I go to drive the car to get inspected. At top of driveway, open seltzer water bottle, which was evidently shaken up, and it spewed all over my lap, making it look like I pi$$ed myself as well as soaking drivers seat.

There is NO way to get it inspected now. It looked like I had a crisis in the front seat.

This was clearly a sign from above to discontinue the pursuit to get the car inspected. There must be a HIGHER MEANING. I parked the car.

My wife informed me they are going to do away with inspections this summer in our state. "Why don't you just wait several months?"

If true, this message from above is-

wait until summer and save yourself the hassle:D

Oh lawdy keyboards are getting expensive these days

I wanted the tires to look like new for the inspection. So I covered them in armor all. They looked AMAZING, so I went for a test drive but the car went sideways for no reason and hit the big oak tree down the end of our street :(

I even went so far as to paint the brake rotors. I found this new color "Jet Fokkin Black" on the shelf at the parts store and figured, 'what the heck...'.

Leaky that was a great tale. Dig your bravery for such a full confession. If you have more, please share.

All they care about here is the CEL. You get plugged into a computer network and scanned for codes. I once reset the computer for a catalytic converter code, and took it in for inspection. The computer said the OBD had been reset, and the guy told me to drive it for a hundred miles. So I did, and drove right back. Still not reset. Drove it to 200 miles, took it back and it was reset. I passed. Check engine light went on again about a quarter of a mile from the inspection station.

Wound up replacing the cat before the next inspection, but I had a year to do it.

I think now that the front seat has dried out and the weather is better (and that my job has just cut my time down to 1/2 days) I might just have an opportunity to sort this out properly. :D

I failed to mention the new TPMS sensors which the tire shop could not get to read right. I'm surprised that doesn't ding it at an inspection:rolleyes: