Social media usernames for teens?

[Neilk]

So our 13 your old daughter asked to change her Instagram username to first name last name. Since our last name is rather unique, I told her no, that I didn’t want people to easily stalk her etc, wife and I said it was not safe.

She argued that since her account set to private, she should be able to pick whatever she wants. Us putting the foot down and saying no did not go well. Besides not having an account at all, did we overreact or are we right? If anyone can share any supporting stories to say why having too much identifying info as user names is bad, that would be great.

We all need a new distraction at home.

[A930Rocket]

You did the right thing IMHO.

[MRM]

You are an adult with a lifetime of education, experience and proven good judgment. Why are you asking a 13 year old’s opinion on something that will affect her the rest of her life? It’s your job to protect her from herself. She’s a 13 year old. You are there to guide her to make sure she doesn’t make bad decisions. As she gets older and more experience and better at making life decisions she gets to make more of them on her own. In the meantime she has parents to keep her safe by guiding (or overriding) her decisions.

I’m old enough that when I came to the Internet it was still completely open. It was so open that I was able to get a 3 letter username that I use pretty much across all platforms. I had never heard of a social username until the first time I was asked for one. I thought for a few moments and came up with MRM - my initials.

About the same time, another guy joined Pelican Parts. He too needed to create a social
media name. He didn’t understand the significance of it at the time, either, so he went with the obvious and used his real name. Thousands of posts, blogs, articles and scripts later, anyone who wants to know anything about Jack Olsen just needs to Google the name and follow the trail on Pelican and elsewhere.

A nice anonymous, generic social media username will serve her well for her lifetime. Help her choose one and ignore the sanctimonious wining in the meantime. She will thank you for it later.

[aigel]

13 is too young for a smartphone and an instagram account. But the genie is out of the bottle, I am afraid. To MRM's points - once they have the device, it is really tough to control what they do on it and now you are trying to convince them to follow your advice. It isn't easy to put your foot down unless you are able to to constantly stay on top of electronic activities with parental controls on the device and checking on them on a regular basis. I have only seen this fail with friends and family. If the kid wants to do something on their smartphone, they will, unless the parent is tech savvy and stays on top of it. Most people are not tech savvy and too lazy.

So, back to the question ... kids are cruel in high school and college, looking back at old social media activities of their peers. It can be in good fun but it can be horrible if they dig up the wrong stuff. That alone should scare a kid. Have her think back at what she posted when she was 11.

The "it is set to private" is something that should also be discussed. You put all your stuff on a facebook server, it is theirs to use and digest and sell. This isn't under your control as soon as you post it. You have to assume that what you post is public, never post anything thinking it will only been seen by your friends.

G

[varmint]

There is some value in registering and locking down your real name. But using it in daily interactions with the whole internet of weirdos is beyond foolish. Stay anonymous.

[rusnak]

Originally Posted by MRM

You are an adult with a lifetime of education, experience and proven good judgment.

It’s your job to protect her from herself. She’s a 13 year old. You are there to guide her to make sure she doesn’t make bad decisions. As she gets older and more experience and better at making life decisions she gets to make more of them on her own. In the meantime she has parents to keep her safe by guiding (or overriding) her decisions.

I agree with this.

YOU PICK HER USERNAME. Tell her take it or leave it. Too controlling? OK fine. Take it as a compliment.

[Noah930]

I have a daughter of similar age. You did the right thing for the right reasons.

[Bill Douglas]

"K" is fairly unusual.

You never know who is out there.

Stay safe Neil and Daughter, and Mrs. K.

[island911]

Ester Geiserblat - that's her new user name.

g'head, tell her. We'll wait.

Seriously, MRM is spot on.

[cstreit]

You did the right thing.

[rattlsnak]

You guys need to more aware and accepting of social media. It's very important to that generation and it's not going away! Instead of saying no to everything, look into it and investigate it yourself. It's fine to use your real name at that age -as long as she keeps her account private. No one can see anything she posts etc unless she gives them permission. Granted, you must talk with her and understand that she MUST know the people that she approves and that you will be doing spot checks and more importantly, she has to add you as a friend so you can view her page.

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by Neilk

Besides not having an account at all, did we overreact or are we right?

You are right. I don't have any personal stories, but I would never put my name out on the internet in ways I didn't have to. I don't even use my wife or other family member's name here.

[flatbutt]

You are being her parent, you did the correct thing.

[KFC911]

"MeanDaddy'sGirl"

[Baz]

I know someone who never posts any photos or information about his children on the Internet. Neither of them have any social media.

And they are a happy well balanced family.

In life, each person and each family have multiple opportunities in life to make decisions which will have an impact on their lives.

It's a good thing to carefully consider the consequences.

And one size doesn't fit all. Which is why we see how things turn out on TV shows like Judge Judy, The People's Court, Jerry Springer, Cheaters, Dr. Phil, and the like.

IMHO, you exercised "Tough Love" Neil. That is an act of both love and responsibility. Nothing more...nothing less.....

[island911]

The thing about online networking is that it retains all a 13 y/o's mistakes.

Most 13y/o's, of days past, would connect to others, someone would make a mistake in the relationship, and disconnect w/o issue.

perhaps this 13y/o is a branding genius, and will smoothly sail her brand (her name) into internet stardom. - - - BWAHhahahaha. . .. uh, no.

[vash]

Gun-cleaners dad.

If I had kids I wouldn’t , noooo. I would police the internet ,,no. Glad I don’t have kids.

My brothers friend is a cop. His sole job is to pretend to be a naive-ass little girl trolling for predators. Scares me we even need that department in law enforcement.

[Zeke]

Have her pick a cartoon character that most resembles her persona.

[Alan A]

I’d worry more about what she’s posting than the name it’s being done under. If you think user I’m-a-dumb-kid can’t be tracked back to the original person you are kidding yourself. Look into facial recognition improvements over the last 10 years and then decide if the name is the issue.

YMMV.