I’ve been in my town 40 years. Current house 27 years. I wouldn’t recognize the neighbors across the street. I have no idea what the names of most of the streets are and I get lost when I go downtown.

When some foreigner asks me for directions I tell them turn left at the Shell, go to Taco House, turn left.

‘What street it is on?

‘I have no idea.’

Sometimes when some yahoo encroacher asks for directions a miracle happens and I can only speak Farsi all of a sudden.

My buddy that was born on a farm now raises longhorn cattle on a ranch he owns. He goes to many farm sales, and auctions and knows all the old timers. He was chatting to some of them and the inevitable question came up of where ya from. Since he was born on a farm a few miles from there, he felt secure in knowing he was a local. Then they ask where was your dad from. Come to find out, for that group unless your parents made the land run and was there on April 22, 1889 you were not local. Of course one guy said his parents were the ones that the land was taken from.