VP of something or other : "Why did my computer not receive the update this week end ?"
Me: "Was it turned on and on the network ?"
Him: "No, it was in the trunk of my car"
Me: "ehh......."

I wasn't paid for my people skilz :D

When I was in school, there was a chick who, as they say, got around, and was known for one particular sexual sub-specialty. I'd never had anyting to do with her until she came up to me one time out of the blue and said "I hear you like to work on cars. Could I bring mine over for you to look at?"

I said, "I hear you like to give head . . ."

Gas, grass or ...