Boomerang Kids

[jyl]

Man this is a weird year. In many ways. Did you know that a higher percent of young adults are living at home than any time since the Great Depression?

Daughter graduated from college in June. No job. Moved home. She hasn’t lived at home in six years. Fortunately she found a stopgap job, teaching French to two 1st graders in a French immersion school that has gone online. You can’t learn a language from a couple hours of Zoom a day, and they have to reach a certain level of proficiency to be able to move on to 2nd grade. And their respective parents make good money. So, hire my French-fluent daughter for 40 hours/week at $24/hr with benefits. I’m telling her, save your money, if this continues for the whole school year you’ll have $30K! Thanks to full room and board chez Dad.

Son went off to start his sophmore year at University of Oregon. Classes are online, but he needs to be living away from home, and anyway he and his buddies rented a house and we’re stuck with the lease, so whatever. He left Saturday. Then big fires broke out east of Eugene and Salem, the air is full of smoke, the eastern sky is glowing, communities not far to the east are under evacuation order, so he packed his valuables in his trusty Toyota Corolla station wagon and drove home.

I thought we’d be empty nesters. We’re a full house. Well, I’ll just enjoy having them around. Their mom, feels, differently.

[KC911]

Well...you did build an awesome tree house for them!

So why is she living back at home and what's her exit strategy?

Your wife is correct imo... if ya don't believe me... just ask her

[Seahawk]

We had one or both of them home from March to the end of July.

My son finished law school from our living room and then studied for the bar before heading to his job in Norfolk.

Daughter transitioned from NYC to Charleston and stayed with us while her apartment situation was getting sorted out. She lives in downtown. Daughter was here this weekend and it was great.

I frankly miss them, so does my wife. The whole empty nest thing is overrated in my opinion.

[Porchdog]

Our oldest was working in Ireland - he was sent back in March so he has been staying with us. That company is in trouble and Covid is making it worse- he was laid off a couple weeks ago. He accepted a job off yesterday (he had been looking before he was laid off) - since he will be in the US he is looking for an apartment and a car.

The middle son is pretty comfortable at home and in the Marine reserves. He is working and slowly getting through college. I expect he will move out when his brother does.

Our daughter graduated in May. She has a job (was part time, now full time) in Ohio and she needs to finish her certification exam there, She has 7 months to run on her lease. Depending on job prospects she will stay there or come home.

We had 2 years with no kids at home. It doesn't matter much to me, My wife is happier with the kids around.

[GH85Carrera]

I know things are lots different than in the olden days when I left home. My mom turned my old bedroom into a sewing room within a week of my departure. I see movies and TV shows where an adult goes to visit their parents and their bedrooms are just the way they left it. I always wonder how many parents do that.

The couple that lives across the street from us have three kids. Two girls and boy. All of them grew up, and moved off. And one at a time, they all came back home for a while. Just the youngest daughter is "back home" right now. She recently got married, and they are having a house built that is not done as yet.

[Tobra]

The key is to be close enough for the grand kids to come over on a regular basis, or even better you go to their house.

This trend of the kids living with the parents is not even a bit surprising. If the economy crushing lockdown gets lifted, this turns right aroung.

[onewhippedpuppy]

My oldest is a junior in high school. If he were heading into college I would be strongly pushing him to take a year off and just work full time. With the inevitable push/pull of cases and online vs on-campus this year is going to be a mess.

[jhynesrockmtn]

I'm more likely to go live with one of my kids than them move back in with us :-) I miss them. The last one at home was my son. That was 6 years ago for a summer before his Army career started after college.

[cstreit]

I have the occasional nightmare of finding myself at my current age living back at home. ...and sometimes It turns good and I get to move out again. Nothing against my family but I like having my own life.

[Sooner or later]

I actually moved back for a month when I was 50.

I was moving from Tenn and had just bought a new business and a house under renovation.

I parked all my crap in the garage of the new place and spent all my spare time working with the business and chasing after the contractors on the new place.. I was ready to get into the new place after a month even though the new place was only 50% complete.

[GH85Carrera]

Originally Posted by cstreit

I have the occasional nightmare of finding myself at my current age living back at home. ...and sometimes It turns good and I get to move out again. Nothing against my family but I like having my own life.

I loved my parents with all my heart, and they were great parents. The thought of moving back in with them for even one night was not something I wanted to ever do. I never spent the night at their house ever again after I left. I only lived 5 miles away and I had my own house, just no reason to not sleep in my bed in my house.

I understand there are a infinite number of situations, but mine did not include me sleeping there.

[onewhippedpuppy]

I couldn’t wait to get out of my parent’s house! I moved out at 19 and only “moved back” for a month, though it was basically me leaving my stuff at their house and me sleeping on the couches of my friends.

[MBAtarga]

I saw on the news yesterday - 52% of Millenials are living at home - w/Mom and Dad.

[john70t]

With the start of the industrial evolution and the end of the farm age beginning in the early 1900s, safety bicycles (both wheels same size and low to the ground) allowed youth the option of extended straying from the homestead. They were fast and did not require the family work equipment and work animals to move.

This youthful-independence movement was highly accentuated in the 1950's with new war wealth, new roads and highways, and now vehicles and gas were inexpensive enough to be a luxury item that everyone could afford instead of an expensive business investment.

By the 1960s-1980s, youthful independence had peaked culturally and it was customary for parents to reject their children at the specific and exact age of 18 until the age of 30-40, when reconciliation would usually occur.

But during most of the many tens of thousands of years of existence of humanity itself, there has always been three-generational households.
Each serving a purpose.

[biosurfer1]

Thankfully I never had to move back in with M&D once I left, but my dad always told me I was welcome to "as long as that's not the end of the plan" as he would say.

I assume I'll have the same approach towards my son...got a while though, can't kick him out now since he just turned 6

[Crowbob]

I'd let my grandkids (oldest is 4) move in before I'd let my kids. I screwed my kids up so bad I'm ready for a do-over with the g-kids.

[Bigtoe32067]

I’d love for my son to move back home. We have a great relationship, laugh at each other’s jokes, and love the same movies. We were always close like that but he’s 23, living in Denver where his nurse girlfriend is, and enjoying himself. He’s still going to school on my gi bill at UoC and I’m probably not getting him back anytime soon. My current wife has 4 boys, 2 of which are off at school, said at 18 she wants them out and not coming back unless they have to.

I’m not sure how she can feel that way. I’d love to have a house full of kids again. It feels empty around here with only two of hers left here. We have a large 1 story so the kids have their own wing and we don’t even see them unless theyre in the kitchen.

I guess everyone’s different but her family was a lot less close and loving than mine and I’d love having my all my loved ones all under one roof where I know they’re safe and I’d get to see and talk to them everyday. It makes me happier to have them all around and lonely when the house is empty.
I tried to talk her into to letting me knock her up a few years ago so I’d have another 18 years until I had to go through all this but she said hell no, she was done.
Tony

[mattdavis11]

At 31yrs old, I moved back home. Prior to that, my employer was contemplating full retirement. He came to me with his conundrum, to which I confirmed that it was the right decision to retire. He didn't want to let me down, and he didn't.

So I moved home and went back to school. Both of my parents had already retired. It was the best 3 years of my life. I had a part time job, mowed the lawn, recycled the cans, hung the Christmas lights, ate for free, and made the deans list 5 of 6 semesters.

Good times, wish I had it to do all over again!

Her youngest left for college straight out of high school, the university required freshmen to live in the dorm, but he came home every weekend. He did not spend one Friday night in the dorm. He has since moved back in with us and things could not be better. He is a good kid, a little hard on cars, but if I need his help, he's right in there with me fixing away.

[asphaltgambler]

Dad told all of us when we were in our teens: "Remember that when you leave home......that door only swings one way..........shut". He meant it. There was a short time where after making a series of poor choices with the wrong women, had nowhere to live. So I couch surfed, slept in my car a few times........ eventually got back on my feet. Not once did I ever consider asking to live back with my parents briefly. Even though they lived 12 miles away.

[billybek]

I was out of the house at 18. Short stint in a local college and a few odd jobs in a depressed economy and realized I was going nowhere fast.
Mom and dad allowed me to move back in to the family home while I was in school and for that I am extremely grateful.
I was out again as soon as I graduated and got a job and never moved back. Wow, using all my fingers and toes I figured out that was 34 years ago.