There But For The Grace Of
 

Good friend of ours:
- Her retail shop went under
- She borrowed on her house to support the shop, and had to sell the house
- Moved to a rental house owned by her friend, who rents it to her cheaply
- Her husband died of cancer
- A plumbing leak flooded the rental house and the kitchen had to be replaced along with a bunch of the stuff in the basement
- She lost her job when Covid hit
- She got a housemate who lives in the finished basement
- Her knees gave out and she had both replaced in the last year, with much pain - she’s still recovering
- Her friend who owns the house is in failing health, the daughter will inherit the house and may or may not keep renting it
- Her other friend who lives nearby and has been helping her with rides to PT is being moved away due to accelerating dementia
- Her housemate lost her job
- Tonight the washing machine in the basement failed and flooded the basement
- My wife and a neighbor were over there with sump pump, shop vac, mops, and fans. I just got back from helping. Basement is mostly dry with fans and dehumidifier running. After the last flood, the basement was rebuilt to withstand another flood, so it should be ok
- If she doesn’t have a job, and after special Covid unemployment benefits end, she’ll have like $1500/mo to live on
- She’s in her early 70s I think? Has worked her whole life, just hasn’t caught enough breaks and made a couple bad business decisions.

On the positive side, she’s found a job, where she can work from home, and will hopefully start soon.

Scary - her situation is so fragile. We won’t let her become homeless, if it comes to that we’ll contribute enough money to keep her housed.

There’s a lot of people in similarly fragile situations, made much worse by Covid. The federal money is all that is keeping them from falling through the cracks. Yeah I don’t like seeing these budget deficits. But there’s no alternative in the near term.

Unfortunately I think the deficits are the only way to go now, & I wonder how all this will be paid off in the long term. I think it's also true a lot of people in the future will be in the same type of situation she's in at the same point in life. Most on here, myself included, can be thankful to have lived our productive years at a time we could make decent plans for our later years.

I’m sorry to hear about your friend. She is lucky to have a friend like you. So many do not. You’re a good man. May God bless you.

In.the blink of an eye everything you have could be gone. Say thx to the time you lived in for the mess you now find yourself in.

Unfortunately you all are in similar straits. Some of you just dont know it yet.

First. You are a good,guy John. Thank you.

Second, I was a some business breakfast schmooze fest a few years ago. The speaker asked how many people were stressed about their ability to pay monthly bills. 80% raised their hands.

I was / still am shocked by this.

WOW, that is a lot for one person to deal with. Here is to wishing her well and getting back on her feet. You are a good friend JYL.

So sad that she is going through this. With regards to her financial situation, all I hear about is the Cost of goods and services and never about the COST of goods and services. Is it greed that fuels higher prices? Maybe that is what needs to be addressed?

I know that it is not something you can personally do...but there is an obvious near term solution. Lift the COVID shutdowns like in FL, SD and other places. They are worse than the virus.

Yes. It seems that poor planning or mistakes take a long time and a lot of work/sacrifice to recover from. It really sucks when you are old and both are in limited supply. Best to do a lot of extra planning, working, and sacrificing when young to ensure a pleasant life when elderly.

I had a big reversal about 15-20 years ago (due to employment and financial mistakes I made)...and it took about 10 years to recover (much work and sacrifice). I learned my lesson and kept doing the same thing for the next 5-10 years and feel like I am pretty prepared for the next 20. Most folks I know live day-to-day...so they are ensuring that even a small problem will overwhelm them.

The problem with the massive deficits is that they are not necessary as we are going to start sending money all around the world to show how unselfish we are...an welcoming millions more people to take care of. Charity and compassion shown by the OP is wonderful, but even more massive government debt will reduce everyone's ability to provide for themselves and their loved ones in the future. Printing dollars is not the way out. It makes the savings of all worth less...so even more people on the borderline (with little savings) will crash and burn when their dollars will not buy much. The price of gas is up around $.40 in just the past month and is expected to go to $4 soon. $4 a gallon may not seem high in some places, but is double what many were paying across the nation and will affect the cost of everything (due to increased transportation and manufacturing costs).

Good job by the original poster. What really disappoints me about people is how a woman like this can barely get by with the help of her friends, but people will throw money at some idiot woman that puts gorilla glue in her hair. If only we can figure out someway to direct that money towards people that really need it.

It is awfully hard to send charity to people we don't know...because the government already takes a significant amount of money from us without consent...and redistributes it as charity (largely for people we do not believe worthy). One look at the massive money we intend to send to other countries this year for everything from abortion to transgender issues/studies tells me that the problem is not how much Americans "donate" but where the money goes. A massive welfare state that encourages bad choices is costly both in money and in human costs. Even worse is our massive giving to other nations (some which are not even allies) and international organizations that constantly align against us. Plus our government subsidizing certain energy sources over others, signing up for treaties that ensure U.S. manufactures cannot compete, etc...is all charity provided to almost everyone but our truly needy (thorough little or no fault of their own). Real charity used to help those folks...but the very wealthy spend their money to influence government now and the rest of us are juts about "charitied" out when Uncle Sam is done with his largess (using the money he already takes) for redistribution (charity). Folks really need to concentrate on what they are doing to keep themselves and their family from being in a position where they cannot take care of themselves. I don't see a lot of that. I doesn't matter how much money some earn (or are given)...ten years later, they as still broke.

My dad used to say: We are no higher than the lowest among us
Good on you John you are what makes a country
To those pointing fingers, point them at yourself

Didn't see any pointing fingers. Charity is great. Expecting government to be an effective way of forcibly collecting and distributing charity is not. Expecting those that works smarter and harder to provide for those that choose not to generally helps neither.

My Father had two saying on this topic that I remember well:

"The wise store up choice food and olive oil, but fools gulp theirs down."
and
"The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty."

Of course you don't. Government-bashing is for PARF.

Thanks jyl, for your caring and this reminder of our fragility. Tabs is right. And jyl. There, but for the grace of God..... We are all going to die but first, we will experience various kinds of pain.

I am blessed in many ways, and one of those blessings is the humility of knowing how very lucky I am. So far. Covid has devastated a LOT of lives.

Of course I don't. Do you? Please point that out.

No. Politics is for PARF. Personal responsibility and charity is for everyone. When the question comes up as to why people "fall through the cracks"...one would be remiss if they did not note that people make poor choices (so that others might recognize that they may be doing the same).

While a person deciding to give charity is a fine thing (regardless of motive), the government is not a charity. Not needing charity or government assistance is not largely due to luck...and to make that case belittles the work and sacrifice of others that manage to avoid it. A bit more personal responsibility would go a long ways. Pretending otherwise is simply not helpful.

I have sympathy for your friend and people like her but there's a cautionary tale in this for all of us.

When I think about my own situation and what happened I'm actually one of the "lucky" ones. It could have been so much worse but luck had nothing to do with it. I lost my job back in March 2020 because of Covid. I've been sitting on my arse ever since and financially I'm OK. I'm not rich but I've got enough money coming in to keep my head above water. If I sold some assets I could retire but at 56 I don't want to.

What I tell young people: Earn money, live within your means and learn how to save. When you can do that and not before think about investments... What's secure and will give you the best return LONG TERM? For me it was real estate.

Being passionate about what you do is great but most people don't have anything like that.

About 3 weeks ago I visited the cemetery to pay my respects to an old friend. He died of lung cancer and he was only 61. He kept himself fit, never smoked and only had the occasional drink. He was a good guy who worked hard and did the best he could for his family.

I was thinking about this and it just reinforces my premise that charity should be local. People felt sorry for this woman's predicament (needing some sort of medical care) and sent her money...probably not expecting so many others to do the same. In the end, she did not send back excess or provide it to another charity, she bought a car...and there are already copycats gluing things to themselves. Rewarding poor judgement seems to encourage it. When charity is for a friend or relative, it is much easier to ensure it is used well.

A few years ago was the good old days.