it could be an interesting few weeks...
 

My brother's mother just died (94, been expecting it for 10 years or so). Incredibly kind woman, still had a thick Italian accent, wonderful cook, and talented seamstress (she was in charge of costume dept for UF's Drama dept for 30 years - I had the coolest Halloween costumes)

Wait? Brother's mother? OK... So My dad married her and brought her home from WW2 service in Italy. They adopted my brother, they got divorced, dad married my mom and they adopted me.

Anyway, what will make it interesting is that after my brother's wife cheated on him and got knocked up and they divorced, my brother decided to handle that by becoming a meth head. Lost his house, etc due to finances after divorce (no kiddie payment but all debt, about $200k worth, on a EMT salary). Then lost his job 'cause he's never tolerated a woman telling him what to do, and ignoring a woman in this case put a nice dent in a fire truck. That's when the "anything for a buzz" started, about 10 years ago.

Fully expect him to be hitting on my mom for money and all sorts of stuff. Fortunately, he's just hit the age he can draw his minimal retirement pay, and his mom didn't spend enough time in a nursing home for the state to garnish/take-it-all from her minimal estate (most of which is a small paid off home).

Sounds like a great screen treatment for a soap opera....

Does your mom feel any sense of responsibility toward him? I hope not. He sounds like he would just be playing her if he asked.

There is some degree of Jewish Lady Guilt going on, even though my dad repeatedly told her that she had no obligation before he died. Renee had never been well off, so mom occasionally delivers some groceries or calls the power co and pays the bill for her. I expect that she'll continue to do that for my brother (he had been living with his mom since he lost his house). We've already spoken and I've re-iterated to not do anything more than she has in the past without at least talking with either me or her brother (my uncle) since we are "removed" from the guilt syndrome and mom fully agrees.

Yeah, I'm not fully sure on the total history before my birth... but dad left Italy in '46, they adopted my brother in '65, divorced, and my dad and mom met in an elevator at a convention in Cincinnati in '68 - mom was finishing her doctorate in Los Angeles and Dad was teaching at UF... they got married 3 weeks after they met, and then adopted me 3 years later.

That's a heck of a story. I hope he doesn't become a problem for your mom.

These situations are unfortunate, but as much as you may want to help someone like this, there's usually not anything you can do to help but not help. Any help is usually just enabling, at least that seems to be the case most of the time.

You got that right.

It easily could because of her kindness. OP and mom's brother need to monitor with the assumption this is going to happen.

The fleecing.

Good luck to ya id10t ... interesting times make for interesting times...

Thread hijack: I actually thought of you last night. I was channel surfing and saw a doc about G-ville and Aug. '90. Didn't watch much ...

Me and 5 buddies were fishing at Orange Lake that weekend... it was hot as hell and we spent a lot of time in the hotel/marina bar watching the TV newscast horror from just a few miles away.

I know you remember...

One of Rollings victims graduated high school with me (Christa Hoyt). It was indeed an insane and scary time.

Just wow :(.

Enough of that...

Have you found yer new boat yet :)?

In reality, your mom will do what makes her feel best. Will it be what you think is correct? Probably not but as long as she feels good about herself, who cares.

Nope, decided to hold off. My car won't tow (due to nissan's transmission), and we are about to replace wife's car, but may not be able to tow with that either. Fortunately son is turning 18 and has interest in a pickup, so once a tow vehicle is in the family, then boat time. Until then, canoe w/ the electric motor and the local rivers for the summer :)