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-   -   as a parent. would you turn your child in to the authorities? (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/1103162-parent-would-you-turn-your-child-authorities.html)

vash 09-27-2021 11:16 AM

as a parent. would you turn your child in to the authorities?
 
my friends think i would be the perfect juror since i never follow sensational news. i might have been the only human not following the OJ saga.

i am not following this latest case.

but i do hear on the radio the parents may have did some distracting.

okay, i am not talking about your 8 year old daughter stealing some candy from the corner store and you drag her in to apologize and sweep the store for week. i am talking about your now grown up adult daughter, is a person of interest in making her best friend disappear..

you buying her a burner phone and handing her a wad of cash?
or you take her to turn herself in while your are getting a second on the home for the best legal counsel?

Chocaholic 09-27-2021 11:22 AM

Very tough one. There was a murder involved. Because of the added publicity, I’m guessing an impartial jury is not realistic either. Ultimately, the 2nd mortgage would happen. We all know this manhunt will not relent and the guy will be caught assuming he’s still alive.

GH85Carrera 09-27-2021 11:23 AM

I really don't think I would.

I have no kids, so I can't say for certainty, but I think I would try to talk them into calling a lawyer, and turning themselves in. I would help them get a good lawyer, and tell them to listen to the lawyer's advice.

Same thing for a brother, spouse, or other close relative. I can't imagine helping someone that is possibly a murderer. I sure would not risk going to jail and a trial for aiding and abetting a criminal. To go buy a burner cell phone and hand over cash is something the parents need to be slapped down hard for doing. Public trial, and some jail time and lots of legal bills that they brought on themselves.

drcoastline 09-27-2021 11:23 AM

Tough call and I don't think anyone really knows the answer until you are in that type of position. I also think the type of "crime" would also dictate how you react.

If your child is clealry a psychopath serial killer and you found out or is a Timothy McVey I think it would be much easier to turn the child in as opposed to say the current case if it is a case of accidental death.

But you can bet regardless I would be doing this " getting a second on the home for the best legal counsel?"

flipper35 09-27-2021 11:28 AM

I would hope I would not have to since they should do the right thing.

1990C4S 09-27-2021 11:31 AM

No, but I would send them to a lawyer. Let the lawyer do the rest.

Aiding and abetting a poor strategy isn't helpful to anyone.

masraum 09-27-2021 11:31 AM

As stated, it's hard to know unless you're in that situation. Also, it's really hard to imagine getting into that position in the first place. I suppose if, as a parent, you found out that your kid killed someone and you weren't surprised or thought "I was always afraid that something like this would happen," then I suspect they would not get help in escaping from me.

If on the other hand, you found out that your kid killed someone and it seemed like a self defense situation or "someone was molesting the grand kids and the parents put a permanent stop to it," then sure, "go turn yourself in, this is not going to be an issue. I'll help with the lawyer."

matthewb0051 09-27-2021 11:37 AM

There was a case in the late 1990's where a boy from the Northeast was accused of sexual assault. The parents helped him flee to Europe where he lived for several years. Even had a girlfriend where he was living and the girls parents loved him.

The US authorities ultimately found him by sitting on the parents. Mom was dropping letters to him in a stand alone post box on some random corner. Feds got the letters and with it the address. Extradition soon followed.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex_Kelly_(rapist)

vash 09-27-2021 11:58 AM

i know for a fact my mom will turn my ass in. she would collect the reward too.

me? i dont have kids, but i think i would drop her off at a good lawyer and let him/her take it from there. i wouldnt let my kid go on the run tho.

Seahawk 09-27-2021 12:00 PM

If I thought they were guilty, in a second.

My Dad did.

LWJ 09-27-2021 12:32 PM

Great question. An odd parallel in my family is my oldest child, who is on the autism spectrum.

If we didn’t support our child through school, they would have been identified and enrolled into the system for ultimately a better experience today.

But, we didn’t. And we didn’t know the level of disability.

Summary: sometimes not helping is more helpful.

As for turning a kid in? That is hopefully something I don’t have to face.

aigel 09-27-2021 01:40 PM

If my kid would chill their GF or BF, I would absolutely hand them over to authorities. If nothing else, I'd worry about my family, including myself. But even if there was a hit and run or another accidental death, what do you teach your kid hiding it and helping it get away?

That kind of "help" isn't helpful at all. You bet that such parents facing such horror now "helped" before, over the kid's lifetime. It starts small, such as constantly defending their kids if they get in trouble, be it in school, sports, neighborhood, petty crime, drugs etc. The kids will have to launch and be responsible for themselves eventually, so they need to face the music, starting as early as possible.

Back to the Brian in the story ... unless you are in college, who the heck lives with mom and dad in a small house in a low cost of living area and moves in his girlfriend to boot? Coddled and spineless is probably an understatement.

matthewb0051 09-27-2021 02:48 PM

Lest we forget the 'affluenza' defense a few years back. Mom actually fled with the kid to Mexico

https://www.foxnews.com/us/what-happened-affluenza-teen-ethan-couch

Bill Douglas 09-27-2021 02:53 PM

A guy I worked with, his mother found a bag of dope in his room when he was a high school kid. She didn't know what to do so phoned the police for advice :rolleyes: So they came around and busted him, leaving him with a drugs conviction for life. As you can imagine he never quite forgave his mother for that.

Racerbvd 09-27-2021 03:08 PM

Really depends on what the crime is..something stupid and little, yes, but if they do something that is actually wrong, as my father always told me, if I F*** up, I am on my own. I would do the same.

aigel 09-27-2021 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill Douglas (Post 11469057)
A guy I worked with, his mother found a bag of dope in his room when he was a high school kid. She didn't know what to do so phoned the police for advice :rolleyes: So they came around and busted him, leaving him with a drugs conviction for life. As you can imagine he never quite forgave his mother for that.

IDK, he is the one that brought the dope home, it's not like his Mom planted it in his room. And here in the US a juvenile record is usually sealed and / or can be expunged, so there are situations the kid may benefit from seeing the consequences of criminal behavior before adulthood.

aigel 09-27-2021 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Racerbvd (Post 11469071)
Really depends on what the crime is..something stupid and little, yes, but if they do something that is actually wrong, as my father always told me, if I F*** up, I am on my own. I would do the same.

My point was that if parents have the kids back on every stupid thing they do and the kid can do no wrong, they are enabling and encouraging this behavior. Sure, most kids don't become a murderer in the end, but it certainly never helps.

One thing along these lines which I found interesting was the article on the case that VINNY linked to in the Petito/Laundrie thread. A young man with domestic violence history had killed his ex gf and then himself. His damn parents were still defending him ...

https://www.chillingcrimes.com/blogs/news/stephanie-parze

look 171 09-27-2021 04:19 PM

Alright Vash, what did you do this time? No, no don't say it out here in public. I will hide you in my basement for a bit until I can arrange a boat out of this country to a small Pacific island with pretty skinny, long legged young women who will feed you grapes in your hammock along with endless salt water fishes for you to catch. Tomorrow, tell your boss to piss off. I gottcha back man.

fastfredracing 09-27-2021 05:08 PM

I would be more inclined to help my kids out . My only loyalty is to my family , not to the American justice system .
Of course, it would depend on the crime and circumstances

drcoastline 09-27-2021 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by look 171 (Post 11469153)
Alright Vash, what did you do this time? No, no don't say it out here in public. I will hide you in my basement for a bit until I can arrange a boat out of this country to a small Pacific island with pretty skinny, long legged young women who will feed you grapes in your hammock along with endless salt water fishes for you to catch. Tomorrow, tell your boss to piss off. I gottcha back man.

No, it was me, it was me. I did it, what ever it was, send me there. Paaaalllleeess-ah.


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