.......and now I can't stand to even look at her anymore........

[ckelly78z]

Originally Posted by rfuerst911sc

This coming June my wife and I will celebrate 44 years of marriage . Best decision I ever made .

Yep, same for me at 33 years...without her, I wouldn't have done so many adventures, and experienced new things.

[flatbutt]

Originally Posted by Seahawk

while it cost him a few million, he has plenty more.

Mine cost me about 45K all in and I bled for years after that. I know that money doesn't buy happiness but you sure can rent it for a while.

I will say that even though my marriage failed I got two fantastic kids out of the deal and they.ve given me 4 grand kids. So, over all it was a good deal.

[asphaltgambler]

Originally Posted by herr_oberst

He took the Bummer Road for sure. Hopefully he'll find happiness. Hopefully we'll all find or maintain happiness.

(Was that Nova a 2 door or a 4 door wagon?)

4 door with well worn Grey interior and a Sun tach attached to the upper steering column by 2 hose clamps end-to-end

[asphaltgambler]

Originally Posted by berettafan

A sad story for sure. Can you help him find or rediscover a hobby he's passionate about?

Yes, we've both been in the automotive business for most of our lives, in the retail service side. He's also a car guy, likes drag racing, all that goes with it. My father knew his father well as Bill's dad was the custodian of the church where I grew up, my dad was on the board of directors. So we'll always h ave lots to talk about

[Superman]

I hope Bill pulls the trigger on that divorce thing, takes his financial licks, then starts over. He will struggle financially, but emotionally at least he will be able to breathe deeply. Given a choice between financial struggles and emotional peace versus emotional struggles and financial security, I'd choose the former.

[jhynesrockmtn]

I divorced in my early 40's after 20 years of marriage. We are still good friends and just saw each other over the holidays. She gave me 2 amazing kids. I have few regrets of that time together. I was single for several years and sewed the wild oats I should have in my 20's. My 40's and early 50's were a great time to be single but almost every woman I met assumed we were partnered for life after a couple of dates. I married again in 2016 and got very lucky. I had dated enough crazy, depressed, desperate women to know I found a great one. I hope I croak first. If anything ever happened to my wife, I wouldn't have the energy or desire to start over.

I feel for your buddy. I can't imagine being in my 60's and having that level of insecurity. Hopefully he will stay connected to you. All the best.

[Crowbob]

Originally Posted by jhynesrockmtn

I divorced in my early 40's after 20 years of marriage. We are still good friends and just saw each other over the holidays. She gave me 2 amazing kids. I have few regrets of that time together. I was single for several years and sewed the wild oats I should have in my 20's. My 40's and early 50's were a great time to be single but almost every woman I met assumed we were partnered for life after a couple of dates. I married again in 2016 and got very lucky. I had dated enough crazy, depressed, desperate women to know I found a great one. I hope I croak first. If anything ever happened to my wife, I wouldn't have the energy or desire to start over.

I feel for your buddy. I can't imagine being in my 60's and having that level of insecurity. Hopefully he will stay connected to you. All the best.

My buddy has almost the same exact story. Except as a bonus he was even able to meet their dads!

[jhynesrockmtn]

My buddy has almost the same exact story. Except as a bonus he was even able to meet their dads!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Luckily these 2 are mine, and then I was snipped so there are no more running around!

[tabs]

I always figured having one Mother was enough...

Now don't get me wrong I do enjoy the company of women,and they find me attractive. But I do deny them the purity of my essence...

[Bob Kontak]

Once they sense your power they will seek your essence.

You are wise.

[craigster59]

C'mon guys, I'm eating lunch here....

[Seahawk]

My best friend went through a divorce in his early 50's and didn't deny his Essence, ever, after the divorce.

We called him Johnny Apple Sperm.

How's that sammy taste now

[gregpark]

i get **** on a lot in the political forums for being a middle aged man who is unmarried.

misery loves company, we're just jealous 😁

[craigster59]

Originally Posted by Seahawk

My best friend went through a divorce in his early 50's and didn't deny his Essence, ever, after the divorce.

We called him Johnny Apple Sperm.

How's that sammy taste now

You know what's worse? It was pork tenderloin (no lie).

[cockerpunk]

Originally Posted by masraum

Sunk cost fallacy. I feel like it's more of an issue with women than men, but that's probably not true.

Too much invested to back out now...

I'm with you, better to get out when you realize there's a major compatibility problem than stay and escalate. I'm married now and have been with my wife for over 27 years. It's worked out well for me. It works out well for lots of folks, but not everyone. And then you've got a bunch of folks that get married when they should call it quits.

i think there is a sunk cost fallacy, sure. but i think its deeper than that. so many men i know in their 50s and 60s hate their lives outside of work. hate their wives, even hate their own kids. i think it comes from a society that told them, have your fun, get married, pump out a couple of kids, and when they leave the house, you will be a respect, happy, man, and people will care what you think. basically hate your life for 20-30 years, but when its done, everyone will care for you, and care about you.

and thats just how every mans life was going to be. and maybe, pre 1960ish, this really was how men lived our their lives. but you didnt get an alternative choice. or none of these men imagined one anyway.

and that didn't exactly happen. 1. no one gives a **** what old white dudes think, we all just moved on. like society is past them by. and 2. old white dudes are pissed as **** that the life they were promised, the life they spent 20-30 years suffering for ... doesn't exist. they spent years toiling under a lie.

and while i have some sympathy for these men, they also failed to consider what they were doing and if it made sense or not. and their demand we return to traditionalism is just a veiled demand to be more important than everyone else. because they feel they earned it, through hating their lives for decades.

i chose a different path of course. i never stopped dating, or racing cars, or inebriating myself ... i never settled down. and while i was in my 20s, my coworkers all thought this was super cool, i was enjoying my fun times. but they all said it would come to an end soon when a woman trapped me into marriage. but that never happened ... and now in my 30s, im still just dating women, racing cars, and inebriating myself to my hearts content, and they can't really figure it out. i have more money than ever, more relationship stability than ever, and more resources to keep doing the "fun" things. i dont hate my life, and i dont think anyone owes me anything at the end of it either.

[LakeCleElum]

Originally Posted by asphaltgambler

Both his sisters offered to let him live with them, as long as he chose to do so, to get on his feet.

Need pictures of the sisters.........

[asphaltgambler]

No, not really...........at all. Not that great 40+ years ago, he showed me some recent pics....... they now resemble their mother, who was at best, a handsome woman then.

[gregpark]

[mistertate]

Originally Posted by cockerpunk

…and their demand we return to traditionalism is just a veiled demand to be more important than everyone else

I like that

[fintstone]

To each their own. I have been married over 45 years to my first real girlfriend that I met in high school. Even given the advantage of 20/20 hindsight, I cannot imagine doing things drastically different. Only had two kids, but sorta wish I had more now because they have busy lives and I wish some lived closer, had more time to visit. All are building similarly great lived of their own. I suspect the traditional, happily married guys is very little fun/excitement as compared to those that chose another path. As far as money, a team of two working together for many decades while sharing expenses is pretty hard to beat. Especially with 2x50+ years of savings, retirement pensions, 401k, and other investments.

As far as intimacy, for a happily married guy, it is a sure thing almost every night…and pretty much any other time the day while many singles go to bars and strike out…or drift between bad relationships. Like a lot of things, marriage is very, very good if done well. It is all about making good choices and commitment. Judging the institution based on those that did not go well is like chugging a cheap, skunky beer and deciding that all beer is disgusting.

Most of the stories you hear from married and divorced guys have another side. You only get one perspective. Both partners have to work on a relationship of any type for it to work. People have bad days and arguments all the time with other people, it just is more painful when you really care about what the other thinks…and if you don’t care, you are probably the problem.

Old folks that I know without a partner seem very lonely. Some day, work is over, playtime is not really a physical possibly, and you are alone.