Let me know your preferred pronouns if I can’t tell by your gender by your name
 

This might get parfd, I don’t know. Anyway, my wife wrote to my son’s school principal and that person wrote back. Below her signature are her preferred pronouns. Her name is Brianna. I have no doubt that her pronouns are she/her. Brianna copied her colleague who then wrote back to my wife and did not include his or her pronouns. I have no friggin idea if that person is a male or female because the name is foreign. I think that’s about the only time disclosing your pronouns make any sense.

What are your thoughts about this?

It's portcha pronounced porsche. They/them

That happens to me a lot. Usually, it's an Asian person requesting a proposal, which begins, "Dear Mr. [or] Ms. XXX". I google the name and see if pics of men or women come up and go from there.

That's why they invented the
names sport, pal, ace, chief etc.

Easy for you. Or maybe not.
My given name is Leslie, like Leslie Nielson, or maybe many women with the same name. I have received post addressed to Mrs. Leslie .... Ok, I had a neighbour names Shirley (m) as well as a SIL and a niece with the same name. Edith used to be a man's name. How about Connie, my old class mate (m) or the singer of the same name(f).

Here's a radical strategy: call them by their name.

Life can indeed be complicated. Don't sweat the small stuff.:D

Best
Les
(he, him)

My old boss taught me a neat trick. He was as bad about forgetting names of people he met as I was. Just shake their hands and call them "easy money" and act like you are best friends. No one gets offended by a nick name of easy money when said with a big friendly smile.

I don't think it helps much in a letter or email however.

But if you tell foreign folks that you can't tell what they are by their name so you need to know, then you're not exhibiting "inclusive" behavior. And while that reads as if it should be green, my answer is based on policies in a large corporate environment.

I have traveled internationally, and have been working with all sorts of folks for years. When I see other types of people, I just see people, but I appreciate talking to and learning about folks with different backgrounds and cultures.

So I've found it interesting when I see things that say that telling someone they speak excellent English is apparently a bad thing that might make someone feel bad. I would never want to make someone feel bad in that way. I would NEVER in a million years have thought that complimenting someone would be a bad thing. I can see how "you're doing a great job for a woman" is bad, but I can't see how telling someone that is not a native English speaker that their English is great is a bad thing.

I work in IT in a HUGE company. We have LOTS of foreign folks from all over, but especially folks from India. It's almost impossible for me to determine the gender of Indian given names. I even asked someone how I could tell, and I was told that "if the name ends with an A, that's (often but not always) and indication of a feminine name." But not all feminine names end in A, and not all names that end in A are feminine.

I have adopted not using any pronouns in those cases.

Good thing I'm 60, I don't think I could take another lifetime of this BS.

I'm thinking of legally changing my first name to Dilligas.

https://www.slang.org/dilligas-meaning-definition/

I used to address emails with "Gents" (assuming all male names), but I've converted to starting almost all emails with "Folks" or avoiding pronouns when I'm not sure.

Exactly. Use their name, a gender neutral reference (folks, or no pronoun at all if possible.

The emails I get from people in film that that put their pronouns in the signature line has increased exponentially over the last year.

The majority are He/Him and She/Her but I've gotten a few They/Them's.

I'm thinking of putting one on mine, Up/Yours.

My given name is Raffi, a traditional Armenian male name. Growing up in Chesterland Ohio there were three races, white, African American, and Asian (then referred to as “Oriental” which has now fallen out of favor.) Very few had heard the name Raffi.

In grade school I remember a teacher once asking me “What the hell kind of name is Raffi?”
My reply “My name.”

Occasionally I would receive correspondence with the salutation Miss. or Ms. Normally I would pay it no matter. If needed I would correct the sender. After I turned 26 the salutation changed to the gender neutral Dr. and I haven’t had any “problems” since.

My college where I teach has the option to put He/Him, She/Her, They/Them in our email signature lines and under our name in Zoom meetings. I’m not interested to add my identification mainly because it is pretty obvious which team I play for by looking at my profile photo.

When in doubt I will either address an individual by given and sir name or at the college I can add the salutation “Professor” or “Doctor.” Military correspondence makes it easy because everyone has a gender neutral rank. Civilians always seem to put their correct salutation in their signature line.

If I ever get a Miss., Ms., or Mr. salutation wrong, I apologize, ask what is the proper title then move on.

i have a list on my table. names of folks i am going to interview. there is one: GEORGE i think i have nailed down with respect to gender. but now i am not so sure.

the rest is like a roster for a UN council meeting. i love the diversity, but i cant pronouce any of them. i'm going with "easy money".^^

When I grew up, "sir" or "madam" were formal salutations to people I respected. They were honorable titles.

I know that times have changed and people are more sensitive to whatever new identity they have, and I try to be respectful/accommodate especially when it is obvious, but what about a man dressed as a woman who identifies as a man?

The forest can get lost through the trees. Mistakes happen. Freak out at me over anything and then I tend lose any original respect. Some people go out into the world looking for a fight.

Where I work, they sent an email out to everyone "inviting" us to add our pronouns if we want. It has gained some adoption, but it's not widespread.

i have always loved that name. had a friend in highschool named Raffi.

if i had a son, i would have gone with a Japanese name. hahah..maybe Kenji or something. :)

With folks that I know well or with folks that I feel I'm pretty safe using them, I'll use sir/ma'am. Around here (very rural Texas), you're pretty safe in most cases using sir/ma'am.

If they care, they can tell me about it.

Until then it is no sir and no ma'am

I'm with Tobra. if they let me know, good to go.

until then, sorry for stepping on anyone's sensitive bits.

When did this become a "thing"?
I didn't get the memo.

https://i.makeagif.com/media/8-10-2019/3WkJBw.gif

Since you don't have your name or pronouns in your signature, i'm going to assume based on your screen name that you are a she/her... probably an old one... and likely driving a Prius.

slap that trick.... you'll know more then.

Thx for asking for thoughts! One needs to branch out beyond periodicals such as Grit, and your hamlet free press to keep up with the world. Why just last recently, WSJ had some blurb about furries. That'll make you a scrabble pronoun x-pert!!!!

My neighbor has 2 kids, Hunter and Kaine. You tell me which is the boy.

Same for us. Being in construction, I suppose some corporate office people have added their pronoun, but nobody in the field has.

You can easily write a response using neutral pronouns.

“We’ll if he/she says that..”. Simply becomes “”well if they say that…”

Having worked internationally for many years, this is mymdefaultmif I’m not sure,…

"They" is both 3rd person and plural.
If you call me that, I would have to check with Chuck and Buck also.

22 years in the Army and I'm conditioned to the salutation in emails being: Ladies, Gentlemen, or Ladies and Gentlemen, sir or ma'am. If it is peers and I know the email could be forwarded Gents would work too. And the end is always R/ or VR/; meaning respectfully or very respectfully. Deviate from this at your own peril.

Now I deal with assistant DA's and sometimes use Ladies but feel a bit nervous doing so with these youngsters.

A friend posted some link on social media to her nieces or something. I look at their 2 profiles and saw something that was totally bizarre. Both had name, Bible verse, then their pronouns. Sort of conflicting messages if I'm honest. Again, kids these days

I would probably not use "Folks" in a super formal environment. I feel like it's a little informal. Many years ago, I changed my salutation to "Thank you." I'm often asking someone for something, or possibly even more so when they've asked me for something especially if I can give them what they want, I feel like "thank you" helps to keep the other side happy.

Assuming their pronouns match their chromosomes, I assume they are just trying to fit in or something.

and now this is headed to PARF...

Dude, don't bung up an otherwise unPARFy thread.

all this falls into who cares for me.

I have no idea why some are so sensitive about their pronouns, but if I can do the tiniest little thing to make them a bit more comfortable why not.

If I am confused if someone is a boy or girl on an email I don't have a problem asking. Big whoop. I am also fine using non gendered pro nouns in such a case.

If a person with a ding a ling wants to go by she/her I care precisely 0%, whatever floats yer boat as they say.

My name is sometimes mistaken for a girls name and often spelled with the girls conventional way, it doesnt even register as a bother to me.


Everyone (in the general sense) needs to lighten up a bit.

Let’s see if it can stay. FF I just deleted your posts...that is all.

I was going to post about this, so I searched first, and here I am. I'm having a heck of a time in the last few months with pronouns. I'm trying to respect everyone, and honestly do what makes you happy.

Where I'm going to mess up is on Slack (instant messenger.) One of the first posts in this thread says he used "folks," Masurm, sorry wanted to accurately quote you. I was using "folks" today, I just noticed I'm doing it. Or just "people" all of the time.

I'm completely afraid to use "gents" as mentioned earlier, or my go-to "you guys" "those guys." It's just a matter of time before I offend a person. I've been in IT 30 years, maybe it's time to cash out. Most of my young co-workers give me looks when I pull out my reading glasses anyway.

Just ranting, thanks for the thread. No parf intended here.

I've steadily changed over the years... Now I don't assume anything about anyone. For instance when asking about someone's spouse I use the term partner instead of husband or wife.

About 6 months ago I met what I thought was obviously a lady (gorgeous looking, smoking hot bod etc.) but the person identified as a "they". As I got to know they, they told me they were born female but doesn't identify as one but also doesn't identify as a man. No judgement really but I tend to steer away from people like that.

The workplace has become a minefield. Stay away from HR if you can. For some reason silliness seems to thrive in that department.

It’s just not that hard. I hear people whining that they can’t remember a few pronouns yet they can remember hundreds of,peoples,individual names and 37 phone numbers…

…but One extra set or pronouns? Too much. ��

I am: He/him/HMFIC/MOFO, and I identify as a GE-mini-gun

I'm getting better, I'm going to pocket "partner." Just not natural to me yet. Technical papers I write, articles etc, those are no brainers, and what I do. I'm saying I'm going to mess up on IM.

"Gents" and "guys" - exactly why I use folks. hahah, yep, I'm in IT, and just north of 50.