What is wrong with people?

[dad911]

My ex-sister and her husband. They haven't spoken to our mother in 10+ years. Did not even come when she was dying, although her kids (mom's grandchildren) invited mom to parties, weddings, etc.

Now I hear although she is not coming to the funeral home, she is going to the mass and burial.

I should have titled this "Family Sux"

Sorry guys, hopefully venting here will keep me from venting at the funeral.

[KFC911]

Guilt ... would be my guess .

My condolences to your family...

[Baz]

Sorry to hear of your Mom's passing, Dad.

To the thread topic....many of us (me especially) have dysfunctional families.

I've grown to accept it.

Sad and disappointing but it is what it is.

I try to make up for up as much as possible, fwiw. I'm the youngest son too - the last person you'd expect to set the standard.....

[LEAKYSEALS951]

Go easy on her.
Even if she doesn't deserve it.
This is about your mom, not about your disapproval of how crappy your family is (or is perceived to be).
Do your best in this trying time to be the bigger person.
You'll have the rest of your life to b#$tch about it, and from here on out, your need to *b#$tch about it will only harm yourself. If something needs to be legally straightened out, do that in due time.


Reason I say this is this.
We've all got our reasons, and our demons, strengths, and weaknesses. Ultimately she will not matter in the end. How you reconcile your anger towards her will. The hurt and anger will benefit no one, and ultimately only harm you.

Enjoy the rest of your life. (Easier said than done. Ask me how I know....)

[masraum]

My condolences to you and your family. Try to not think about your other family.

[Gogar]

Don't let the way they deal with it negatively affect your experience. Pay tribute to your mom with grace and let them have all the dark bs if that's what they want. And if you have to interact with them, be great. That's how you do it.

Sorry for your troubles

[HobieMarty]

My heartfelt condolences to you and your family in this time of need. Try to take things one step at a time. The first thing is to just get yourself and your loved ones through the loss of your Mother, remember the joy and good times and put aside everything else. People deal with and process things differently and sometimes people, well, they just suck at being decent human beings. Karma has a way of showing up and sorting things out. Peace be with you.

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk

[dad911]

Thank you all for the kind words.

[SCadaddle]

You only think you know your siblings until your parents pass away. Sometimes you might even find out shortly before they pass away and it's really a double whammy.

[dan88911]

You can choose your friends, you are stuck with the family you get

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by Gogar

Don't let the way they deal with it negatively affect your experience. Pay tribute to your mom with grace and let them have all the dark bs if that's what they want. And if you have to interact with them, be great. That's how you do it.

There it is.

I have lived this dream.

[creaturecat]

curiosity (rather than judgement) works best. so they say.
ask her.
perhaps she has a valid reason. perhaps not.

[dad911]

Originally Posted by creaturecat

curiosity (rather than judgement) works best. so they say.
ask her.
perhaps she has a valid reason. perhaps not.

Hard not to judge, considering prior events. Like 2 years ago, when we moved mom from her condo to an assisted living facility, and we all pitched in to move/clean/fix and sell her condo, the only reply to correspondence was a request for a copy of the closing documents.

We've needed lawyers to resolve things in the past, and I suspect will once again.

In any event, they only showed up at the church today, and stayed a respectable distance away.

[gsmith660]

Dad I am kind of in the same boat my ex brother and sister basically told me to F off after dads death my brother got cancer and told me he never wanted to see me again I was Navy submarine force but my sister started calling me a baby killer but she supports planned parenthood at moms funeral I stayed away from the rest of the group and watched from a distance. My sisters husband came and talked to me as well as my cousins but that was it. My brother I think harbors resentment because I served and he took a college deferment and dad gave him **** for that I guess he would really have a fit if he knew I will be buried at Arlington. I cant give you good advise on this because they may be blood but they are not my family any longer

[Baz]

Originally Posted by gsmith660

Dad I am kind of in the same boat my ex brother and sister basically told me to F off after dads death my brother got cancer and told me he never wanted to see me again I was Navy submarine force but my sister started calling me a baby killer but she supports planned parenthood at moms funeral I stayed away from the rest of the group and watched from a distance. My sisters husband came and talked to me as well as my cousins but that was it. My brother I think harbors resentment because I served and he took a college deferment and dad gave him **** for that I guess he would really have a fit if he knew I will be buried at Arlington. I cant give you good advise on this because they may be blood but they are not my family any longer

Thanks for your service, sir.

Watched a great documentary on the USS Wahoo the other day. Much respect to the submariners...

We had an older member of our local yacht club here who was German and served in the U-boats. That was a while back, of course.

To your post and as I posted earlier....hard to find a family that isn't dysfunctional these days. It sucks but it is what it is......