Retrospecive mood today
 

Funny how I get that way from time to time...

Last night, Cindy & I spent time with a classmate of hers, Robin. Robin's hubby Mike had passed of the big C nearly 2 years ago. Also many years ago, I had a few dates with Robin, willingly making Mike a bit jealous after she & he had a spat..the whole thing a set up by another couple of friends.. It worked. Mike came around...they really were destined for each other. Nearly made it 60 years...

She a striking Blonde of Swedish ancestry...at 75, she still is. She and Mike had been together since that long ago spat..since high school. They had a quite wonderful life. Mike a true entrepreneur, left Robin quite secure financially. When Mike became ill, they sold the Bed & Breakfast Inn they owned on Lopez Island in the San Juan islands...but she still has some condos and other real estate, plus the stock & bond holdings. Now trying to decide where to live and how to simplify things. Possibly Arizona or Hawaii...

I digressed tho. She told a tale of a widow suggesting she take off her rings, perhaps wear them as a necklace. Robin asked why..."Well, to show that you're available." Robin: "Available for what?" HA! That other woman didn't understand...Robin had lost the love of her life...nobody could replace Mike. She'd won the game and the game was sadly over.

Over the years, Mike and Robin would stop off in the old home town as they travelled from one location to another.. We'd get together for dinner and conversation whenever they did. Cindy & I miss those times.

(edit..yeah I know I missed a t in the title...can't correct)

Bittersweet. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks for sharing Paul. Life and it's complications aren't always cut and dried. But we go on...

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Thanks guys....kind of regret posting. Just thoughts while knowing I'm closer to crossing the finish line. Mike was one of those long time buddies who crossed before I did, despite being a few years younger.

It was hard to think about just Robin...for many decades, it was "Mike & Robin" in the conversations of Cindy & I.

Thanks for sharing with us Paul... you should have no regrets for doing so imo. BTW... how is the eye recovery going? You may have posted info on other threads, but I missed it if you did.

Thanks for sharing Paul.

Thanks for sharing Paul. I have a few friends that were younger than I am, and it just seems strange that they are gone.

Great post, Paul.

What is always interesting, and very similar to the Dating Thread, is that there is no right answer to any of the hard questions, especially the death of a spouse, that cover every individuals outlooks and needs.

A Member here posted about his wife's advice to him before she died...I was so delighted for them both: As I am for Robin.

I am on the Back Nine somewhere as well, Paul. My hope is to share as much of the rest of the course as possible with my wife. I really can't imagine my life without her so I don't.

No regrets - This is a nice thread - celebrating a wonderful relationship.

My parents had that... Dad passed at 61 --my Mom same age survived him for 31 more years , She was still quite bright and attractive. Dad left her well off -- she had many gentlemen interested but never had the slightest interest --said he was "the one". WW2 Navy fighter pilot- businessman- extreme gentlemen --who adored her --- nobody even came close.

Paul...I agree with all of this. With a special nod to the final sentence.

I envy Mike for the love of such a good partner.

Paul,

Many of us here in this forum are in the same boat. I retired in January and while its nice having a lot more time to do things I want to do, the question is, what are those things and how much time do any of us have to accomplish them.

BTW tell her to try Arizona. Much more affordable than Hawaii and its a wonderful place to live.

Joe A

Paul,

The older we get we watch our old friends pass by the way-side. I always wonder why it was them and not me and of course there is no answer.

Guess the older I get the less I care about most things and revert to what is IMHO important... like old friends.

Joe A

I’ve been having these sorts of existential questions lately myself. There is no right answer, if there is any answer at all.
Six weeks ago this coming Saturday I lost my little dog Maddie. She was the light of my life. Her loss kicked my ass HARD. I realize that I took many years of our time together for granted. It was as if I thought we would be together forever. Then it struck me – that’s the way I treat my marriage all to often. I could lose Vicki at any time because that’s what life is, a prelude to death.
Now I hug Vicki a little tighter and a little longer if we are parting for any reason. I don’t miss a chance to give her a kiss and tell her I love her. I hold her hand or rest my hand on her body all night. But there is this nagging sense of “What’s the use? It all ends the same way anyhow”. Sometimes I just want to sit in a dark closet and wait for my own end, and sometimes I want to get the most out of what I have left. Frankly, I cry a lot. I miss my dog. I miss my youth. I miss my libido, I miss my athleticism. I want to get through a day without any physical or emotional pain, but that life is behind me. All I see in front of me is pain and loss. Getting old sucks big time.