50th Reunion, Ex Will Be There…Take The Porsche?

[OK-944]

With my 50th high school reunion coming up next weekend…I’m very excited to see how everyone in our truly wonderful class is doing and what everyone’s been up to, and also eager to introduce my dear wife (of ten years) to some of my old buddies.

My ex will also be at this celebration - with her boyfriend. Thing is, my divorce - which became finalized in 2008 - was not exactly amicable, nor was the feeling about splitting up exactly mutual…with myself having been the primary motivator to leave the marriage.

I also have a sense that my ex is not exactly “head over heels” about her new beau, and although I’m truly grateful that she has what appears to be a good arrangement with her boyfriend, both financially and in the area of companionship - I’ve long had the sense that she’s had a tough time moving forward from our marriage.

My fear is that, as my current wife and myself have such a great time being together, and as we each feel very motivated to have a great time at this reunion - that my ex might find this really depressing. Not saying that she’d choose to make a scene, mind you - but still.

Finally, what might serve to add fuel to this (admittedly hypothetical) fire, is that I’d really like to drive my 944 (which I've been restoring/rebuilding) to this event. Not so show off in any way, but more as a means to share a recently discovered passion with my old buddies - and also, well, because I just really like driving my 944!

So - with the above in mind…would it be just bad form for us to take the Porsche (a truly nice 944) to this reunion, with my beautiful, amazing, and loving wife on my arm? Or should we take Forester instead?

I realize that the above may seem a bit crass…but I’d truly like some advice here!

[masraum]

I'm not sure that I'd consider a Porsche 944 as a car that would seem like you were showing off. It's not like you're going to show up in a GT2, GT3, CGT, 918, etc....

It's a shame that having your ex around will be uncomfortable or stressful.

I wouldn't worry about taking the 944 unless you think that the ex might vandalize it, in which case you shouldn't drive either car.

[Tobra]

You should talk it over with your wife, and do whatever she tells you

[masraum]

Originally Posted by tobra

you should talk it over with your wife, and do whatever she tells you

lol

[Seahawk]

You could go to a reunion without your current wife when your ex wife will be there?

You my friend, are an Honorary...



That is some pro high wire act without a net balancing act.

944 all the way, especially if the ex knows how much you love it

[SCadaddle]

So - with the above in mind…would it be just bad form for us to take the Porsche (a truly nice 944) to this reunion, with my beautiful, amazing, and loving wife on my arm? Or should we take Forester instead?


I say take the Subaru Forester, and at the appropriate time, lean over to the ex-wife and say "you oughta see her partner, oh my my!"

[island911]

LOL ^ I see what ya did thar.

But reunions are about going back in time, so to speak. So take the 944.

[Bill Douglas]

A well sorted 944 sort of plan.

Yep, take the car, the new missus, drink too much, dance too much. Tell embarrassing stories. 50th reunions are the sort of thing to enjoy.

[stevej37]

If the reunion is of any size....how will she tell what you drove?

[masraum]

Originally Posted by stevej37

If the reunion is of any size....how will she tell what you drove?

I'm guessing it's not that big. I've never been to a reunion. I think my graduating class was ~800 people. I suspect not remotely that many folks would have shown up.

[matthewb0051]

Only take the 944 if you went to HS with the cast of Sixteen Candles

Otherwise you are in real jeopardy of mid-life crisis jokes. Honestly, I think you are giving the Ex ammo to use against you at your expense.

Originally Posted by masraum

I've never been to a reunion.

Me neither and don't plan on it. Actually have one this month or next (40 I believe). The ones I want to keep in touch with, I do. As for the others, I don't want to travel 1,100 miles to see, especially since I haven't seen them in all those years.

[Bill Douglas]

Originally Posted by masraum

I've never been to a reunion.

I have. It was the best couple of days I can think of. Phew... Joanne Gray sure did look good. OMG she really hadn't changed much from when she was 16.

[rfuerst911sc]

Life is short , you are proud of your wife and 944 . So take both to the event and enjoy yourself . You owe nothing to your ex other than to be polite in any discussion that may take place .

[Evans, Marv]

Originally Posted by rfuerst911sc

Life is short , you are proud of your wife and 944 . So take both to the event and enjoy yourself . You owe nothing to your ex other than to be polite in any discussion that may take place .

This exactly. I've been to every reunion except for the tenth & sixtieth. They were all a blast. It was great to see everyone and find out what twists & turns they've taken in life. As far as your EX is concerned, you've both gone separate ways in life. You owe each other nothing except for friendly and civil relations and best wishes for happiness going forward. Just go enjoy yourself. At this point in life putting on an aire of importance and one-upsmanship is for little people.

[Daves911L]

I went to my 30th 11 years ago and drove a 356. One of my HS buddies, and a car guy back in the day, clapped me on the back and sincerely complimented me for still having the same car I drove in high school. Only problem was the 356 I drove in high school was a rusty B coupe with a VW engine, faded silver almost indistinguishable from the many large grey primer spots, and the interior had faded from red to that sun baked ruddy brown robe that only ancient German vinyl can achieve. I paid $600 for it in 1979. The car I drove to the reunion was a very nice Meissen blue A coupe. I just laughed and didn’t tell him any different. He said he missed the old 240Z he had in school.

I enjoyed the reunion. I found I had more in common with many of those people now that we were old, than when I was young. I thought it was going to be fun to see old girlfriends and crushes. But they all looked like grandmas. A few had even brought their grandkids with them. My wife looked a good 25 years younger than all of them, although she is only two years younger than me. I was the only guy there that still knew what his…..toes…. looked like.

[Baz]

Yes!

[fintstone]

Just don't be disappointed if folks are not impressed by a 944. If it is your 50th reunion, it might be cool that you have restored an old car, but it was not a cool car when you were in school (didn't exist) ...and after 50 years of work, I am sure that many folks have had some pretty impressive rides.

I have restored a '74 911 which would have been built/delivered while I was in high school that I think might be cool to drive to a reunion...but few where I grew up would get it. There really were not any in the local area in that time and an old Camaro or Chevelle might get some stares...but not likely the 911. It may have been an icon elsewhere, but not there. Not then, not now. Of course, my wife would never let me anyways. She says it is a "stinky, old car"...and I am not about to ditch the SSIs for a catalytic converter.

I went to my 30th reunion and everyone that bothered to come was really old and really fat...and most were rather poor and had lived hard lives. We only had a 5th and 30th as far as I know...but my 50th would be not far away (if they have one). My 911 would not have gone over well at the 30th. It might have at the 5-year reunion when everyone still had high hopes and a bright future...but, I was overseas in the military (And don't know much about that one). So, depends on the crowd. You know them a lot better than we do.

Personally, I would do whatever makes you happy (unless your wife will ensure she makes you unhappy afterwards for doing so). Reunions are fraught with peril in that respect. But life is too short to try to make everyone happy.

[Noah930]

Take the 944. If you enjoy driving it and driving ot makes the night a little more date-night special for you and your current wife, then that's what matters.

It the ex- doesn't show, or if she does and never even notices your car, will you be disappointed?

You should be doing these things for you (and your current missus), not others.

[Tobra]

^pretty smart for doctor^

[john70t]

What is your purpose for going?
To show off? Or reconnect?
Because there is a major difference in how you will be treated by others.
You'll be the same person no matter what.

Take the car and wife. Be yourself. Add value. Leave when appropriate.