Running parents household/finances. get paid?

[rattlsnak]

hey guys. last year we got my parents trust set up and I have financial power of attorney over them. They still live by themselves but I basically run their entire household as it were my own. Whatever comes up.. paying their utilities, landscape, taxes, banking needs, emails, disputes with credit cards, etc.. you name it. It is actually a great deal of work sometimes and then sometimes I don't do anything for a week or two. (the initial majority of the time was spent setting all of their accounts up on autopay, etc..)

My parents INSIST that they pay me out of the trust to do this. I INSIST on not getting paid. I do have a brother and sister who do NOTHING, so they feel like i deserve an extra stipend so to speak.

How much do you think this is worth? they suggested $10K yearly at a minimum. Not sure how I feel about that as I'm glad to do it for them, but I understand their point. My siblings reap the rewards of my work! I dont want any bad blood between them either. Everybody gets a long great, I just have more free time then them and am much more tech savvy..

[asphaltgambler]

The answer is $1.00 / year. Solves the problem

[KFC911]

Nope! Not even $1 .... but that's just me. Can't even fathom the idea to be honest with ya...

Mine can deduct it from what I owe them

Everything.

edited.... And I didn't see AG's post before I replied either

[stevej37]

Yes...nothing. Maybe mention (to the siblings) you wouldn't turn down some cookies or a cake once a year.

[911_Dude]

I did the same for my parents for several years before they passed. My mother always had done their finances, and there came a point where she just couldn't keep up any more. You are right, its a pain and very time consuming. They didn't have the funds to pay me, but I couldn't see taking anything even if they did.

It's really a purely family decision. No one can say you are right or wrong either way as long as you are up front with it all.

[red 928]

Legally you are entitled to pay but the law in most states
does not specify how much, only that it is equitable and fair.
Basically, the going rate.
That could vary a great deal from the rate of an attorney, a CPA, a secretary, etc.

I am also managing an estate that will take
up to 10 years to fully settle (long story).
I am legally entitled to compensation but have not paid
myself anything so far and don't intend to.

But if any of the heirs start **** and make it ugly,
that could change in a heartbeat

When your parent's trust was set up and you
were assigned POA, did it go through the courts
or just with an attorney?
I ask because in some cases, the judge can rule on compensation.

[stevej37]

I recently went through the same experience. I would say accept what they offer you because it could upset them if you don't. My parents were put off by my insistence of not being paid to help them to the point that that my dad took some things he knew I could fix to someone else because he knew I wouldn’t accept payment. The way I handled the situation was, I told my parents, I’d keep track of my time and they could pay me what they feel is appropriate. And let him know there’s nothing saying he can’t get them a nice “gift” or two with the money they’re paying him.

[Sooner or later]

I did for a number of years. Didn't take a penny.

[Ayles]

How old are parents when you do this?? Mine are in their early 70s and are far from needing help, though I suppose an accident or diagnosis could change that. My mom still runs miles every day and my step dad is a successful politician. So it's hard to see them needing anything in the next decade.

[McLovin]

There’s nothing wrong with you getting paid in those circumstances.
It’s not an issue relating to your parents, it has to do with your siblings.
If you’re doing all the “work” (I know you’d do it for free, thus the quotes, but it is still work and if you weren’t doing it, they’d have to pay someone else to), it is 100% fair that some of their money, which will ultimately be divided equally between the siblings, go to you now in recognition of what you’re doing.
It’s very fair and if I were your parents, or your siblings, I’d insist on it.

[rfuerst911sc]

If they insist on paying you and you control the " books " just reinvest the money back into their account/s . They are happy , siblings are happy and you are happy . They may reach a point where they really need the money . After they are gone split the inheritance with siblings . Done

[McLovin]

And $10k isn’t excessive.

[Shaun @ Tru6]

Not needed now but I will be doing this for my mom and her husband down the road. Can't imagine taking anything for it, just part of being in the family and doing your part. Siblings may or may not step up in other areas. Taking money from family is just wrong.

This is one of things where the payoff is your knowing that you are doing everything right by them. That's all that's needed IMHO.

[KFC911]

I would never accept a penny for doing anything for my family, immediate or extended, never have, never will, and in fact I am generous with both my time and money .... sometimes to a fault.

It's how my parents raised me and they taught by setting examples that I can't come close to matching .

No knock on anyone who sees it differently, but that's just who I am.

[Otter74]

I managed my dad’s estate after he died and it was a ton of work, so I feel you on all the work it takes to do this for your parents. I would do it for nothing, but if my parents insisted like yours apparently do, I would let them pay me whatever they thought was fair ($10k, in their case. I think the value of respecting their desire to pay you for your work outweighs the value of your not wanting to accept money from them.

[Por_sha911]

Whatever you decide, have it written up legally by you and your parents. Otherwise, the good for nothing siblings will whine about you stealing from your parents. If it were just you, I'd say take nothing. Since the other heirs are not willing to lift a finger then lift a finger for them (so to speak) since you would be paying far more for an outsider to handle the affairs for your parents (and ultimately the future estate heirs). Get the cost of everything you are doing if it were paid to an outsider and agree to 2/3rds of that cost (doing your 1/3 for free and getting paid for your brother and sister's portion).

[Noah930]

Option 1: Your parents feel $10K is fair. You want $0. So meet at the middle: $5K. Each party equally unhappy (but in a good way).

Option 2: Ask your siblings what is fair. Present both sides, and see what your bro/sis say. You know your siblings well enough to know if this approach is a good one or bad.

[KFC911]

Option 3: Tell them 50K sounds fair

[Baz]

It all depends on their net worth and in particular how much is available for household spending vs. what is invested that you don't want to touch.

Plus how much is coming in each month.

If that is a comfortable amount, I see no reason why you shouldn't be compensated for your time and effort.

I say that as someone who has been doing the exact same thing now for a few years for my Mom who still lives in her home and will turn 100 in February.

I've put in my share of work to make sure she is able to still live in her home and as has been stated....it is a lot of work!

Every situation is different.

I say don't be afraid to draw an unofficial slary - as long as you are earning it - and that is the key word.

You need to do more for your folks than anyone on the planet could. That's the standard....

[chrismorse]

I managed my Mom's finances, during her declining years and was executor for her estate - an equal three way split between me and my two sisters; smooth and harmonious. I didn't draw a dime.
My step sister was managing the finances for my step mother and neither she or i drew a dime, She passed from cancer and i continued to take care of my step mom's finances for years thereafter. My step mom nearly ran out of money, but she passed before that occurred.
A few things come to mind regarding fairness:
1) Are the investments/home expenses and book keeping a burden on your life?? If the assets are meager, then no, if there is "enough" then yes.
2) Is the estate complex enough that it warrants a significant time manager, then yes.
3 If there inequitie is sibling relations, then it is up to you.
My circumstances were relatively easy, both mom and step mom were super moms, my sisters were easy, a step brother was a greedy, complete ******* and the family atorney carried out my dad and step mom's wishes to minimize his inheritance, which i carried out, as per the will.

Circumstances vary widely and most of us were raised to be generous and respectfull, honest and transparent.

I would do the same, if i had to do it over.
Regards,
chris