Kid attacked my boy. What would you do?
 

My 12 year old son was practicing for an upcoming basketball game during lunch hour last Wednesday. He took the ball from an opponent who happens to be the biggest kid in the school and outweighs my son by over 100 lbs.

The kid then picked up my son horizontally and dropped him on the gym floor resulting in my son getting a concussion. It’s his second concussion in a year.

Here is what it has cost my son…

U14 GS and SL ski races which actually matter for FIS points. This was this weekend. He also missed a day of training that included ski cross training from a national level coach on the national team’s course for a ski cross race in 2 weeks.

School basketball game.

2 days of school.

The boy that did this is 13 and I’ve known him since he was 5. He’s not a bad kid but hasn’t had the benefit a great family life. He has anger management issues and this isn’t his first violent outburst at school.

We live in a very small community.

My options are:

1. Do nothing and hope that the school provides this kid with some mandatory anger management help (they can’t make anything mandatory). It’s doubtful his mom and grandma will be supportive of this.

2. Press charges. This will likely result in a bad long term outcome for this kid but ought to get him the help he needs.

3. Try to coax the police into paying him and his family a visit and try to get him some help without formally charging him.

My kid could have been seriously hurt. In actuality he was and we still don’t have the clearance from a doc for him to resume sports including gym.

I have an early morning call with the principal in the morning. I am leaning to option 3 pending what he has to say.

What would you do?

The more I think about what this cost my son, the more upset I am with the entire ordeal. My son doesn’t get a ‘do over’ for that training opportunity or the FIS points that he lost this past weekend. $10,000 couldn’t buy that chance. If he had permanent damage, who cares about the skiing?

I would approach the "school/headmaster/senior teacher/etc" and ask them to do something about what happened.
(Which you're doing)

I went through something similar with my son and they listened to me but didn't really do anything.
After much frustration and angst in the end "we" moved schools. I hope it doesn't come to that in your case.

Press charges....

No brainer.


2 concussions in a year for a small child.... After my last concussion/tbi i have an increased delay in speech.

You are on the right path. Call/option 3

"He took the ball from an opponent "

Need some clarification, please.

The opponent was dribbling the ball up the court and my son got the ball from him as you do…

Press charges.

I think this is the way forward also.... pressing charges will likely go nowhere. Best of luck to your son ... and to the other kid..... he was dead wrong .... but still a kid imo.

Good luck!

No faith in the legal system....

Press charges but offer intervention as an alternative. If the kids family doesn't accept intervention drop the full weight of the juvenile system on the bully.

Hmm... not his first violent outburst at school...

I would do whatever it takes to make it his last. It sounds like the school staff has not yet been properly motivated. Perhaps pressing charges against the school would provide them the incentive they need to ensure this kind of thing does not happen on their school grounds in the future.

I'd want to see that kid expelled. But where does he go, if that's even possible? He needs serious and successful anger management and impulse control. If he faces consequences, will your son be seen as the cause and potential future victim?

I see that kid's record being expunged after he turns 18 and then what? Probably more heinous crimes. He seems like a menace to society in the making- this isn't his first episode. I'd consult with the police about this as well as the principal. You can always file charges if you need to.

I'd try to sue the school.

It seems reasonable to me (which is probably why it won't work) that the school was negligent in protecting your son from a person known to be violent.

Your attorney should know the likelihood of you prevailing given the circumstances. I can't imagine this has never happened before.

Yes, get the police involved.

The school may need a wake up call and the police arriving may do the trick.

And tell the kid's family they are being taken to court (but you'll accept an out of court settlement of...)

Edit: Are there any Samoan kids at the school who work for cash?

I’ve been talking to the principal since this happened (we have a great relationship). Initially I was empathetic to the kid that did this, he’s not a bully. He’s going through some horrible stuff at home and can’t deal with his emotions. He needs help.

Doing nothing likely won’t get him the help he desperately needs.

Getting him charged and expelled from school likely will make the rest of his life horrible.

What happened to my kid can’t be undone.

This other kid’s future could go 2 ways and I don’t want whatever path I choose to make his life worse.

I have no current plans to sue anyone. That’s not the point of this post.

Money won’t fix this problem.

Sounds like you've got a real good handle on this unfortunate situation... you might possibly change the kids life for the better .... hopefully!

I think it's commendable that you don't want to make the kid's life worse.

However, I think a more worthy motivation to sue would be to try to protect other kids from getting harmed by him.

What does the principal think? Where would this kid go if he was expelled?

Maybe this kid needs to be removed from the "family" he has.

It's to your credit that your concern for this boy is well intentioned. I would suggest that your concern for the other kids in the school should be the highest priority. As you said, this kid needs help. I fear for what he has yet to do.

Keeping in mind that you're in Canada, and not knowing a thing about how the system works...
I'm just hoping you proceed with sound judgement...