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Going to Boise 2/8
I have to go to Boise to go through my brothers apartment and stuff. He has very MS and can no longer function on his own. He has his apartment and 2 storage lockers. I have 2 weeks to look through and liquidate bascally everything he owns. He was doing ok until December when he had a bad fall outside. He has been hospitalized ever since. He is being moved into adult assisted living facility. I do not know how much of his stuff he will have room for.
This is going to be a tough one. I have no help once I get there except his ex wife will loan me a car. I will probably wind up donating a ton of stuff to goodwill, VVA, ReStore, or whatever. Someone who will come and get the stuff. He is pretty depressed about it, which I understand. It is very hard to get him to discuss the whole deal with. So basically...I am going in blind |
Sorry to hear about your brother.
My mother was the same way when she left her apartment. She thought she'd be gone for a few hours and was never to return. Sort of eerie when I went in there. Dirty dishes etc. |
Awful. I did this for my buddy's estate last year. We simply discarded a ton of stuff.
He was an artist, so we saved some choice paintings to give away at his service. He specialized in large paintings of naked women... If I can offer advice, by buddy was also an active boat builder. I called the boat club and they were very helpful. I donated / sold tons of stuff to people he knew and liked. I felt like I was continuing his legacy. |
'troop - MS is one bad b*tch. Have you checked with the local MS society? Perhaps church, if one is so inclined. Veterans organizations also may have some assistance. My best to you and your brother.
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Yes, thank you ! I will be reaching out to some local organizations to donate a lot of his stuff. I just need to know, from him and his Ex-wife, what he needs to keep for his new place. I will be talking to her this evening. My brother just doesn't want to discuss it. I know that it depresses him.
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How old is he ?
What was his MS like before the fall? What items does he own of real value (above $1000) ? The top 5 items will probably be 80% of the value Basically, everything else is landfill junk. Make it simple and toss everything else. |
He is 71. He has had MS for a long time. It was been slowly progressing. He has been having more numerous setbacks the last year or so. He always bounced back after rehab. This time he is not gaining anything back. He cannot use his hands now, which is the driving force to him going into a place where he can get the help he needs around the clock. It is his decision, but it is depressing to him. I mean, who goes out to get the mail and never gets to go back into their home. It is something none of us think about until it happens. He will have some of his things, not many, but some. He was a globe trotting scientist (seismologist, vulcanologist). Now he is an invalid.
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I just had to do this this weekend for my dads sister. She has dementia and had an episode were the cops were called and they put her in a home.
(my dad passed from the same ****ty disease a few years ago and their brother also has it pretty bad) Seven hour drive from Traverse city to Columbus. I am her closet relative that can help. My wife and I did every thing in two days, but it was only a small one bedroom condo. We took a few items but mostly things that we wanted and all the family pics and docs. The Columbus Adult Services will now come in and and clean out the place and see if any of the furniture is worth selling and then donate or trash the rest. MS sucks my mom had it for over thirty years until she passed. I am very sorry. |
Sorry Matt, for your brother and his stress and yours. Perhaps someone local will step up?
I can suggest that the first step is gathering his personal stuff, which he will keep. That is....first identify and segregate what will not be liquidated. Like decluttering a garage. Don't start with the stuff you're going to get rid of. Start with the stuff you will keep. |
Sorry about this.
The mormon church is strong there, maybe reach out to the local ward, if you would like some help. I have a sister who lives there, Ill talk to her see if she knows anyone who could help too. |
Maybe you can do a face time with him so he can decide?
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I had a long talk with him last night. He was in a much better frame of mind. He is still depressed but, at least we had a good talk about it. Then I called his ex and her husband who have helped him immeasurably over the years. They are the only ones local to him. After discussing things with them...we have a plan. Granted it is plan A, plan B is developing. They have really stepped up and have a good handle on things and are really sharp. It will not be easy by any stretch, but we are all on the same page.
I made my flight reservations yesterday and they will meet me at the airport and are letting me use their car while there. This lifts me up a good bit as I was feeling rather gloomy about doing all this alone. This is not the most pleasant of activities. The good thing is that we are all firm in our determination to do this for Jim. There are no petty squabbles (my sister isn't coming along). We all just want to help him get this unpleasant task in the rearview mirror. |
Sorry man, I know how tough this is. My mom just passed away 2 weeks ago and we are going through her stuff now. So hard to toss so much of her life but no-one wants it. I am in the Treasure Valley about 30 minutes outside of Boise. Not sure what use I could be but if you need a hand send me a PM and I will do what I can.
PS. Bring your long johns because it is pretty dang cold right now. |
Yup. Spokane is in the mountains. And closer to the North Pole than to the Equator.
Glad to see you have some resources coming together for this, and a consensus plan. If you find that some stuff is particularly valuable, and will take time to properly sell, then perhaps it could make sense to get a Pod and ship those things to yourself. Then deal with them when you get home. |
Sorry to hear this. MS is a *****. I've known several people who have struggled with it. Needs in assisted living will depend on what type of unit he is going to. The rooms are generally a studio setup or a 1 bedroom. Many have a sink, small counter and small fridge. The studios usually have room for a double bed, recliner, dresser and tv setup. There is generally no storage so boxes of collectibles, etc. are a no no. Best of luck to all of you.
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Off I go in the morning. The adventure begins. Thanks for all the comments and advice !
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Matt..good luck. May things go smoothly for you.
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