Discipline & raising your children - did you crack the whip? How did it work out?

[Baz]

Both my parents had belts - but seldom had to use them. Because when they did - we knew there would be consequences to our actions.

Disciplinary actions included restriction to home & property for a period of time. Loss of allowance. Extra chores to be done.

My Mom has a wide belt folded in two and it hung on the rolling cart handle in her kitchen.

Dad would just slide his thin belt out from his trousers. Once the belt was out - it was not going back in until used across our butts. Didn't matter if this was in public. Dad had his limitations of what he'd put up with.

Well none of use went to prison. We all graduated high school and eventually got higher degrees. Were employed our entire lives.

How was your upbringing?

[Seahawk]

I was not spanked or hit, except by my Spanish mother's flying shoe.

Incoming!

Ok, once: I said something really stupid to my mother, I was 13/14. She slapped me right across the face with a look in her eye I will never forget. The shame of it hurt more than the slap. I was wrong and knew it.

We never hit our children except on their hands, more a ceremony than corporal punishment.

That was us. I will not judge others where raising children is concerned.

[masraum]

I think similar. Spankings were an option, but I don't think they happened often. I think I only remember maybe 10-15 times max which isn't bad. I suspect there were probably a few occasions where the belt came off and that was discipline enough. Most times before things got too far, I heard the stern voice and that was enough to stop me before things got to belt territory. I didn't like or want to get in trouble. I knew the consequences, so I rarely did stuff to get in trouble (to avoid the consequences).

Yes, as I got older, other options may have been being grounded (<5 times, I suspect), more chores, loss of allowance. That's all that I can remember.

I think a lot of it is down to individual kid personality too. Some kids just don't care and will push things as far as possible and frequently past. Some kids don't want to get in trouble so don't do much. Some kids are super sneaky.

[rfuerst911sc]

My dad was a good sized guy with large hands . He spanked me once and I quickly realized this shouldn't be an occuring event 😋 . I don't remember my mom ever spanking me but she had a look and tone in her voice that meant business . I turned out alright .

Our two boys were spanked a few times but we mostly did discipline via conversations and grounding . They both turned out fine .

[jhynesrockmtn]

My Dad whipped me with a belt a few times up until it didn't hurt. That was probably around grade 5. Then he used the "how disappointed he was in me speech". That was a lot more effective. I wanted his respect.

I may have lightly spanked my son when he was very young a few times. His older sister was an angel and never did anything wrong, that we knew about. They both are well adjusted, very successful and have their own kids now.

[Bugsinrugs]

My mother was the enforcer. The wooden cook spoon. You learned not to cover your butt with your hands. My kids got sparked a few times. They stayed out of trouble pretty much. The cops called one time saying that he has detained our son because he was putting cardboard kitties on the road. All we could do to keep from laughing.

[A930Rocket]

I got spanked multiple times, was grounded and had privileges taken away. I was adventurous and deserved it. The worst part was, when my mother said wait to your father gets home. Our dad was 6‘4“ and intimidating. I don’t recall that he spanked us, but he had two traits that my brother and I hated. One was the finger to the chest when he was talking to us and the other was the Vulcan nerve pinch between the shoulder and neck.😂

I don’t think I ever spanked are two kids. More talking to and go to your room. Ms Rocket dished out what I thought was unfair punishment, especially to our firstborn, our daughter. I really did not like it and said so. They don’t have the greatest relationship.

But they both turned out fantastic, despite our ineptitude sometimes.

[flatbutt]

My Dad used his belt and his fist. As a result, the only thing I ever raised at my children was an eyebrow.

Discipline was generally denial of privileges followed with a sit down talk with me or their Mom.

They are among the finest people you'll ever meet and are doing a great job with their own children.

[McLovin]

I really don’t ever remember being disciplined in any forcible (or even non forcible) way.
Certainly never hit with anything.
I can’t recall ever being “grounded” or restricted or having anything taken away as punishment.
My parents are the greatest, who worked so hard and would sacrifice anything for their kids. Disappointing them was my biggest fear. I’m not saying I never did things that would have disappointed them. But the many things I did, they never knew.
It must run in the family. I never had to “discipline” my kids for anything. I never even raised my voice to any of them.

[cstreit]

I was a regular recipient of corporal punishment. None of it deserved of course.

I think I spent 1/2 my high school career semi "grounded" due to some dodgy grades. That said - at least SOME of that was deserved and corrected.

I think my kids were maybe spanked once... ...but they've been so good I don't think we've ever needed to punish them in a decade other than the occasional - no phone until homework is done sort of thing.

[LWJ]

I have three children.

Spanked the eldest. They have a bunch of learning issues/autism and were a constant handful. Learned that there are many many choices that are more uncomfortable to a child without hitting/spanking.

Second was spanked less than 5 times
Third was never spanked.

We got much better with our parenting skills over time.

My kids are pretty darn awesome. We treated them as small humans with the ability to make good decisions. Mostly worked, except the eldest did some real dumb stuff.

[Crowbob]

My mom had a 'Board of Education' hanging on the wall which was obscured by the door into the kitchen that was always open. When the kitchen door was closed, we knew we were in for it.

My brother and I got the paddle a few times. The final time my brother grabbed the paddle from mom, broke it over his knee and handed it back to her.

We turned out mediocre.

[cjh]

Who had to go cut their own switch?

[MMiller]

Originally Posted by cjh

Who had to go cut their own switch?

I had to cut a couple... Retrieve a belt or two...

My Mom has some guilt over they way she disciplined us kids. I told not to give it a second thought.. I know I had it coming. It wasn't long before all it took was a look before I was back in line. The "negotiating" that parents do now is exhausting to me.

[Crowbob]

The g-kids (3-6 years old) get a time-out. You’d think they were being tortured and scarred for life the way they wail…I’m not sure who is getting scammed. Us making them think it’s actual punishment, or them trying to make us think it’s cruel and unusual punishment.

So far it still works.

[wdfifteen]

I was spanked once as a kid that I remember. I don't know how they did it, but my parents let me know that when they said something, they meant it. So we behaved. My cousins were the exact opposite. Their parents beat them, sometimes with a belt, but they back talked their parents and generally engaged in bad behavior. One got pregnant at 13, one at 16, one just sort of floundered around in life. They're all dead now because of bad life decisions.
My dad said to us, "You are all going to go to college. I don't know how you're going to pay for it, but your are going to college," and we did. Two of my sibs got scholarships and advanced degrees. The other two of us had to work our way through. I honestly do not know how my parents instilled self respect and respect for others in us, but I'm glad they did. It may have had something to do with the fact that they didn't beat us up.
I never gave corporal punishment to my son, but he has the same kind of self respect and respect for others that my siblings and I acquired. He's a Phd with two great kids of his own. I am so proud of him.

[fastfredracing]

I lit my son up once . He told his mom to GFY right in front of me . I think he was 14 at the time . I open handed smacked him right upside his head .
2 days later, I get a letter from his school, stating the incident has been reported to CYS . Nothing ever came from it , but your hands are really tied as far as corporate punishment .
He has needed a good ass whoopin for years, but my wife was always against it , and then, once you figure out that you will be in the system if it happens it is a serious deterrent .
I got the belt and the wooden spoon a few times as a kid . I feared my dad till my teens . He was not a mean man, but had a temper, and when I crossed the line, the kraken came out .

[Cajundaddy]

Growing up we were a rowdy bunch of 4 boys and the belt came out when we stepped over the line.

With my kids, I only ever spanked them once or twice. We lived on a small ranch so punishment meant cleaning out the horse stalls, cleaning the rabbit cages, picking up dog piles etc. We found this to be highly effective.

[lindbhr]

Im the oldest of 3 boys, and from time to time we'd act up and my dad would quadruple up a bull whip and paddle you. We always deserved what we got. Although it was effective I suppose, not nearly as much as when they used logic on us.

For example, I was in high school and generally not being very cooperative at home, no matter what the issue or opportunity especially toward my mom. Finally, my dad called me into his study and said my behavior needed to change or there would be consequences. I said what, "like sending me to military school? You've been saying that for years". Then my dad said, "you know I was raised in Tucson but was sent away to Austin (St. Edwards) for high school right"? He credited being sent away as the single more important event that shaped his life for the better. I felt myself going pale. I never gave then any trouble after that... I had a great relationship with my dad as I got older and he taught me so much.

Maybe some of you can relate?

[flatbutt]

Violence against a child is never deserved, never. My brothers and I took some severe beatings until I was big enough to tell my father "nope, no more".