Any one had any run ins with CYS ?
 

I have to say , that I did not like how this felt at all . Long story short, I got reported , most likely by my 5 year olds teachers .
CYS called me, and wanted to come out and make sure my home is a safe environment for my children to live in .
Im sure those ladies look at me and think I live in a dilapidated trailer in a junkyard somewhere .
Fortunately for me, I keep a clean , warm home, stocked with food. Both kids have nice rooms and clean laundry to wear .
Educators are required by law to report anything they see as possible abuse or neglect . My 5 year old little guy started pooping his pants last week, and I did not catch it right away because be basically dresses himself . He had a big rash on his arse by the time I caught it .
I was already aware of it and had been soaking him in the tub and putting lotion on him nightly .
I guess he had an accident at school and when they saw that , they had to report .
So this then triggers the gestapo to come out and put my home life under a
microscope . I hated the whole experience . I have nothing but distrust and disdain for government .
I looked up the stats. Last year, there were 46,000 cases reported to cys in Pa. Out of that , approx 5 k were substantiated .
I am all about children having safe home spaces to live . I have no problem with this, but it really seems like a system ripe for abuse in a divorce situation or grudge with a neighbor etc ..
In my case, there was no report filed. He was satisfied with the conditions of my home, and explained to me that once someone is reported he is mandated to investigate . I did not have to comply but they can get a court order if i refused

Sorry you had to deal with it.

Can it be abused, sure, not much in life that can't be.

It's a catch 22.

How often do we hear about kids in terrible situations only after it's too late and the lament is "if only someone had said something"

My wife is an educator and yes they are mandatory reporters.

Trust me, they struggle with it as many are also parents and get it.

It's an imperfect but necessary system.

Sorry for the unnecessary trouble, Fred.

Ugg. Sorry you had to endure this.

I think it is one of those things that we have to put up with as good people for the betterment of those abused by bad people. You took one for the team.

Hope your kid is doing well. Good luck.

What a pain in the rear. It's just unfortunate that there's no way to know/determine what are false alarms and what are real issues without some sort of investigation.

I'm just thankful that your issue was (relatively) quick, easy, benignly figured out as a non-issue.

Sorry for your situation and best to you and your family. Having worked in a facility for young boys "in the system", recently pulled from a home or in between foster placements, I see both sides. It did teach me not all humans deserve any grace. The abuse stories I saw and heard make you permanently a bit saddened and dark. When you see how some kids grow up, you understand how some adults never had a chance at a normal life.

History is full of people that look the other way. Be glad for the ones that don’t. ANY process in our society can be abused.

Sucks having to endure it yourself but, one of your boy’s classmates could be flagged under the same system and could need the intervention. You never know,,

Fred - if it makes you feel any better, I do actually live in a trailer in my own junkyard. If fact my home has wheels / tires but most of the vehicles don't.............

Fred, one of the families in our local PCA region had a similar experience. Kids are kid, especially little boys. Their son had a bike crash, and was in full protective gear, unlike when I was a kid. He broke his wrist when he hit a curb, and flew into a grass median. The hospital staff thought it might be a child abuse or neglect case and the the authorities were called to their house and did a surprise inspection.

My friends live in a exclusive gated community, and they have a 6,000 square foot house and 4 boys. Each with a large individual room, and more toys and games than can be imagined. The inspector looked around at a lived in, but very pleasant house, and as the sons came in from school they all came to mom and gave her a big hug, and she was making snacks for the boys, and two of their friends. The inspector lady said she wished every child could be raised in that house and she was blown away by the love she saw. Photos of the boys all over the hose, and no other reports of abuse.

You are not alone and I see both sides. I am glad to know they do actually do those inspections. THe stories of horrible abuse seem to bee too common.

I found they can be prejudice towards single fathers.

This is one area where I don't mind the extra caution

You will of course sale through as a formality and hopefully they will apologize for the inconveniences and ask about the car fleet


I grew up with the occasional foster kid in our house, and eventually my parents adopted my brother as well. We were subject to cps "check in" every now and then. Now my sisters and myself were real jerkhead kids but we knew and respected to be 100% on our best behavior during these visits.

Sorry you had to go through this but your anger should be directed at all the bad parents out there . They are the ones that force society to be on alert . How many children have suffered because no one gave a crap about them ? Way too many .

Sounds like you are a standup dad and take care of your children . Congrats on being one of the good ones . Unfortunately there are too many bad ones . Teachers are being tasked to be baby sitters/teachers/security guards etc etc so I give them some space when they think they see a possible issue .

When my adopted daughter and her guy friend were trying to be a family with their daughter, it wasn't working. Neither of them had the skills to look after themselves, let alone be parents. My wife would take food in for the little one every week and worry the rest of the time. Eventually their neighbor called family services to complain about the shouting. They were told their daughter would be in foster care until they went through counseling. Instead she came to us. She sees her mother and her father ( and her paternal grandmother ) quite regularly and has few delusions about them. She is sweet, happy and outgoing but sudden, loud noises can really upset her.
I can understand the system, but it feels so intrusive and judgmental when you're on the other side.

Best
Les

I can believe that. I know one.

Fred - as others have stated - you handled it well.

It shows the system is working well Fred, and they would have been pleased to see the home life you have got for the kids. I'm sure just about all the people they inspect are just fine such as you, and it gives them the chance to find the ones that aren't.

I came from a very dysfunctional home life and could have done with something like this when I was a kid.

IN my ignorant as usual opinion........

Would have been better for all if the school had contacted you first and inquired what was going on.

That's what civilized society does.

They communicate with each other.

Barbaric societies go the other direction......not surprising.

Love you, man.......keep chargin'....you're not the only one in this fight! :)

B, how do they exercise their dominion over Fred that way?

This process is routinely abused, regularly.

It pisses me off to read this after what you've been through lately Fred. You handled it well, and "they did what they had to do".... but it still sucks.

Move on brother .... I'm proud to know you through this forum.... simply one of the best :)!

Sorry Fred and I hope they don't use this as an excuse to keep harassing you.