Mental Health Crisis

[WPOZZZ]

How would you guys approach this?

The ex-gf has been caring for her mother for the past 10 years, after she had a debilitating stroke. Mom is bedridden and is on a feeding tube. For the most part, mom is very healthy due to her care. She is 100% dedicated to caring for her mom. She also looked after her stepdad for the past 4 years. He passed in October at a hospital on the mainland. She packed up and brought mom back to here within a few days of his death.

She is 50 and very smart, but can be a real ballbuster. I do cook and drop off food for her because I know she is depressed. Last night I took her out to dinner so I knew she was eating. She said she needed to talk, so we talked outside her home. Wow, I think she has gone off the reservation! She was talking about how she thought the hospitals (2 different ones) poisoned her dad, and conspired to cover things up. Then she told me she came back here because she feared for their lives. She said she saw some guy outside her house on the mainland wearing an earwig (my term, she said he had a wire). He looked at the house, then the camera in front and a car came to pick him up. She thinks someone is trying to "silence" them to prevent a lawsuit.

I told her, priority #1 is caring for her mom and her own health. I suggested she should see her doctor to get some anxiety/anti-depressants. She said she can't do that as she has to be lucid. She even told me this sounds like it is out of a movie, so she knows it sounds crazy. I also told her to get a good medical malpractice attorney if she is sure the hospitals screwed up. Of course, she goes off saying she needs to find one away from where she lives because the hospitals probably know them.

TLDR? Exs dad passes in a hospital, she thinks they poisoned him. Considering lawsuit, and thinks hospitals are conspiring against her. So she leaves in fear for her and her mother's life.

I think she is on the brink of a mental breakdown. She has no other family, and very few close friends. What to do?

[Alan A]

Run away?
There’s nothing good going to happen here. And no way to sugar coat it.

[LEAKYSEALS951]

I am so sorry to hear this.
My dad and his second wife were consumed by the same ball of conspiracy.

A difficult pill to swallow.

In my dad's case, it was early onset dementia. My mother in law was a dumbarse and didn't know better. Between the two of them, the ingredients mixed themselves into a soup of paranoid.

If easily possible, I would help her find an out of area attorney so she could spill her beans about the case, and let that pan out however it does (which it probably wont), but you keep your distance. I.e. you find a name you don't know, have her call it, and you keep out.

My dad and his new wife knew better than any hospital in the region.

Instead of helping her, consider helping yourself delineate strong lines of engagement. They are sick. There is only so much you can do.

Talking sense into the unreasonable and expecting sense will lead down a path of pain, even if meant of good intention.

I am really really sorry.

Good luck.
Ron

[rfuerst911sc]

Without professional help she is a train wreck waiting to crash . It is noble you are willing to help but you will be consumed if you get too close . Tread cautiously.

[pavulon]

Sleep deprivation can be a pernicious thing. You can bring her food to eat but you can't sleep for her and it sounds like she may have been running mental wind sprints for a considerable amount of time resulting in irrational thoughts.

[flatbutt]

Unless you can help without getting invested, I say run don't walk.

[Bill Douglas]

I think what you are doing is right. Being supportive, looking after her, making sure she is eating well (well enough). BUT, don't let her drag you down too.

I was like this with my sister who is mad as a hatter. I looked after her, paid for everything - cars, TVs, repairs... Then one day she decided she hated me too.

So you can't really win, but you can be helpful, but not too helpful - now I'm sounding like a nutter. It's contageoius.

Edit: Good luck, you are doing the decent thing.

[red 928]

Maybe she just needs something to keep
her mind of her troubles. Buy her a book?




Sorry, no help.
If she is wrong and the black helicopters are not coming for her,
get her counselling or run away.
But what if she's right and they are after her?

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by flatbutt

Unless you can help without getting invested, I say run don't walk.

^^^^ Didn't read all the responses ... this is mine too.

"No good deed... "

You are a good man, with good intentions, but....

Best to both of you...

[wdfifteen]

You are a good man with the best of intentions, but there isn’t a lot you can do. This is going to be a lot like dealing with an addict. Do some research on how to live with an addict and you’ll be on the right track. Take care of yourself first, as others have said, don’t get too invested in her mental health it isn’t YOUR problem. It isn’t pretty to watch, but the only one who can help her is she herself.

[jhynesrockmtn]

This may be totally mental or have a physical component as well. Dementia can do tricky things to a persons perception of reality. I'm no expert, but lived through the degradation of my Mom's brain to the point of paranoid delusions taking over. It sounds like this person is not there, but getting a full checkup may be in order. We just had a person at work bring in a doctor's letter stating she has early onset Alzheimer's at 56. All the best. Only you know how invested you want to be.

[911 Rod]

Ex-gf?
You shouldn't be there.

[Billiam 911 2.8]

First, take care of yourself. Many good people fall into codependency. Don't be the person who dies and sees someone else's life pass before their eyes. DSS often provides wellness checks but no guarantee she will let them in the door.

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by 911 Rod

Ex-gf?
You shouldn't be there.

If his wife and two mistresses don't see a problem with it, then who are you (we) to opine ?

[WPOZZZ]

Originally Posted by KC911

If his wife and two mistresses don't see a problem with it, then who are you (we) to opine ?

I'm speechless! HTH did you know about that?

[oldE]

Suggest she see a Dr.. Her spoken concerns make me think she has a UTI.

Best
Les

[WPOZZZ]

Originally Posted by oldE

Suggest she see a Dr.. Her spoken concerns make me think she has a UTI.

Best
Les

I did. Urinary tract infection causes craziness?

[oldE]

Yes indeed. It can manifest as dementia. Something to do with blood chemistry in menopausal women.

Best of luck.
Les

[fastfredracing]

Have you tried sleeping with her ?

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by fastfredracing

Have you tried sleeping with her ?

LOL ... you just ain't right!