Kids say the darndest things!

[masraum]

Our daughter-in-law was at Costco with her nephews today. Our 4yo grandson saw a guy that was probably 400# down an aisle and shouted "Whoa! Look at that BIG man!"

I think they made a hasty retreat. That reminded me of this summer, we had taken our grandsons to Natural Bridge Caverns near San Antonio. We had just finished lunch and were leaving the restaurant. As we walked out, an older (probably in his 60s) guy was walking in with a patch over one eye. The same grandson said "Look, it's a pirate!"

The daughter-in-law said that when her brother was about 4-5 he was with their father, and a very heavy woman had a pager go off which caused the boy to tell his father "Look out dad, she's backing up!"

[stevej37]

Kids are honest...gotta love it.

[cassisrot]

Art Linkletter

[flatbutt]

Originally Posted by masraum

Our daughter-in-law was at Costco with her nephews today. Our 4yo grandson saw a guy that was probably 400# down an aisle and shouted "Whoa! Look at that BIG man!"

I think they made a hasty retreat. That reminded me of this summer, we had taken our grandsons to Natural Bridge Caverns near San Antonio. We had just finished lunch and were leaving the restaurant. As we walked out, an older (probably in his 60s) guy was walking in with a patch over one eye. The same grandson said "Look, it's a pirate!"

The daughter-in-law said that when her brother was about 4-5 he was with their father, and a very heavy woman had a pager go off which caused the boy to tell his father "Look out dad, she's backing up!"

My then 4 yo son (now FBII) did the same thing in the pediatrician's office. Two differences 1) he said Daddy look at that fat man! He's so fat!! 2) I was laughing so hard that I had to leave the office. My then wife said I was an absolute dick for leaving her there.

[LWJ]

I have a child with autism.

The things that kid said. Yikes. Just deleted back a story for good taste.

Let’s leave it at that.

[masraum]

Originally Posted by flatbutt

My then 4 yo son (now FBII) did the same thing in the pediatrician's office. Two differences 1) he said Daddy look at that fat man! He's so fat!! 2) I was laughing so hard that I had to leave the office. My then wife said I was an absolute dick for leaving her there.

LOL!

My wife was mortified by the "he's a pirate" comment. I have to think that the average guy in his 50s or 60s (grandpa age) with an eye patch would have to think it was pretty great to have a 4yo think he was a pirate. I'm sure that there are probably some folks that might not, but I have to assume they are the minority.

[masraum]

Originally Posted by LWJ

I have a child with autism.

The things that kid said. Yikes. Just deleted back a story for good taste.

Let’s leave it at that.

Do we have to? As long as names are changed to protect the guilty. It's not like there was any malice in the statements of a kid, I'm sure.

[Starless]

A bit of a twist to the fat person comment, I was at the beach my nephew, who was probably 5 or so at the time, and a very fat woman walked by. He didn't comment on how large she was he said look at the size of that bathing suit!

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by LWJ

I have a child with autism.

The things that kid said. Yikes. Just deleted back a story for good taste.

Let’s leave it at that.

I'm 63 and don't even have an excuse....

You may share in bad taste too... we understand

[oldE]

A coworker said she was working in Windsor Ontario around the time of the Detroit riots. Her daughter was about 5 years old. As they were walking down the street one day, her daughter saw a Black man coming toward them. Her daughter exclaimed, "Look Mommy, a chocolate man! I'll bet he's some good!". My friend was mortified, the man seemed pleased.

Best
Les

[LWJ]

Gents. Yes. It’s offensive. I need to remain quiet here. Thanks.

[A930Rocket]

When Little Rocket man was five years old, we had some neighbors move in next to us. Somehow we were talking about them and he said, well there goes the neighborhood. We died laughing, because we have no idea where that came from or how he learned it.

[Steve Carlton]

When my niece was 4-5 years old, we were talking about renting a video to watch. She said "I don't want to go to Ballbuster again!"

[Hawkeye's-911T]

Here's hoping to keep things on the "lighter" side - I received this via e-mail yesterday:

From out of the mouths of babes

1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.
You did WHAT?!? the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know, “explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later....."Da-ad...."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
"No, You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"

4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight ?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
"I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward.
One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?"
The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a ***** to iron."

6 When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"
I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."
"I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"

7 A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself,
"Two plus five, that son of a ***** is seven.
Three plus six, that son of a ***** is nine..."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a ***** is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"
The teacher paused then asked the class,
"And what do you think that farmer said?"
One little girl raised her hand and said,
"I think he said: '****! A talking chicken!'"
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply,
"I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said,
"Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"
She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."

10. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?"
Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough."
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.
She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut,
eating a snack cake.
The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie."
She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."

12. The minister started his Children’s Sermon with a question, “Who knows what a Resurrection is?”
Without missing a beat a young boy says, “If you have one lasting more than 4 hours call your physician.
The pastor is still laughing.

Cheers
JB