Recent Rejection Letters

[Por_sha911]

December 21, 2023 4:35 PM

Dear APPLICANT:

Thank you for your interest in joining the customer-service team at the Philadelphia-area Olive Garden restaurant. We here at Olive Garden Store #239 and the entire family of restaurants and casual dining experiences of the Darden Restaurants thank you for your application.

Unfortunately, we cannot move forward with your application at this time. Although your résumé and work experience were impressive, we feel that your past employment as UNIVERSITY PRESIDENT–UNIVERSITY OF PENNSYLVANIA does not fit our current needs. An Olive Garden Customer Service Representative must interface with the customer at the table and the kitchen staff in a clear, concise, and direct manner, and while your work experience was, as you said in your cover letter, “a great place to learn about making people feel welcome,” we do not see anything in your skill set that suggests that you would be a successful addition to our service team.

Furthermore, in your one-on-one interview at our Open Interview Career Fair, you seemed reluctant to answer questions from the “customer” during the simple role-playing exercise. When asked by the “customer” if the Chicken Tortelloni Alfredo entrée contained nuts or other allergens, you replied that it depended entirely on “the context,” which sadly is an immediate disqualification from being considered for our service team.

We wish you the very best in your job search.

HUMAN RESOURCES TEAM
OLIVE GARDEN EAST DIVISION
DARDEN RESTAURANTS

DEAR DR. GAY:

Many thanks for submitting your manuscript for inclusion in our Science Fiction/Fantasy list. We have reviewed your materials carefully and have read through the chapters and synopses that you included. We have also received your many letters of recommendation from other authors who publish with us, and we appreciate their thoughts as well. It is clear that in your tenure as President of Harvard University you have interacted with many fine authors.

While your writing has many fine points, we unfortunately cannot move forward as publishers of your manuscript.

The decision was reached after much internal discussion, both by our editorial teams and our legal department. As you may or may not know, there was a very popular series of novels written by J. R. R. Tolkien entitled Lord of the Rings to which your series of novels, Lords of the Round Objects, bears an uncanny — and, to our legal team, troubling — resemblance. In addition, many of the story events and characters are entirely too similar for us to ignore. Where Tolkien created Gandalf, Frodo, and the Eye of Sauron, you have included characters named Handawlf, Brondo, and the Orbs of Lauren. To publish this work would open our company to extreme legal exposure.

Furthermore, the second book proposal you enclosed, for a novel entitled Their Eyes Were Watching God, is a direct synopsis of the master-work written by author Zora Neale Hurston entitled Their Eyes Were Watching God. It’s the same book.

We wish you the best in your writing career post-Harvard.

EDITORIAL TEAM
LEGAL TEAM
HARPER COLLINS

https://www.nationalreview.com/magazine/2024/02/from-the-recent-rejection-letters-file/

[Arizona_928]

I like the reviewer rejection comments for my recent publication. I don’t think they actually read the only other publications on the topic, as mine characterized completely different (they also barely beat us to publication)…

The topic is interesting and relevant to the scope of the journal, but I cannot recommend this manuscript for publication.

The main drawback of this manuscript is the lack of novelty and originality…

[herr_oberst]

Take it to parf. All the fellas can yuk it up with you in the cesspool

[Por_sha911]

Plagiarism is not political. Have a nice day.

[wdfifteen]

Dear Por_sha911

We at PPOT appreciate your attempt to copy and paste items that you think are humorous. However, we find your sense of humor more appropriate for a different forum. Please take this sorry attempt at humor to PARF or some children's forum where it might possibly be appreciated.
Thank you for your interest in PPOT.

[Por_sha911]

Dear WD15, thank you for sharing your thoughtful opinion.



or, in other words, lighten up.

[Rusty Heap]

I once had a patent application reviewed by Boeing Corporate saying "Industry was full of Art of this nature."

[911 Rod]

I have no idea what is going on here and I'm okay with that. lol