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Registered
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 4,033
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For the flyers among us
Saw this on FB, not sure of its accuracy but I found it funny.
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots ("P") and solutions recorded ("S") by maintenance engineers: P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit S: Something tightened in cockpit P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for. P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget |
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07-26-2024, 05:17 AM
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Back in the saddle again
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Central TX west of Houston
Posts: 55,808
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darn funny if they are true complaints and responses.
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Steve '08 Boxster RS60 Spyder #0099/1960 - never named a car before, but this is Charlotte. '88 targa  SOLD 2004 - gone but not forgotten
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07-26-2024, 05:55 AM
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Registered
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Linn County, Oregon
Posts: 48,497
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Darned funny either way...thanks.
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"Now, to put a water-cooled engine in the rear and to have a radiator in the front, that's not very intelligent." -Ferry Porsche (PANO, Oct. '73) (I, Paul D. have loved this quote since 1973. It will remain as long as I post here.) |
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07-26-2024, 09:33 AM
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Air Medal or two
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: cross roads
Posts: 14,072
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it is an old old joke recycled.
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D troop 3/5 Air Cav,( Bastard CAV) and 162 Assult Helicopter Co- (Vultures) South of Saigon, U Minh Forest, Delta, and all parts in between |
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07-26-2024, 02:24 PM
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Registered
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Maryland
Posts: 31,399
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Writing a Maintenance Action Form (MAF) is an art I was schooled in early...the Maintenance Master Chief at my first squadron, MC Adams, reviewed all MAFs before they went in the aircraft log book for review while the pilots and aircrew were still in maintenance control.
He did not suffer fools or LTjg HACs well...and I was both  So many stories. Thanks for the memories!
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1996 FJ80. |
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07-27-2024, 05:40 AM
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: N. Phoenix AZ USA
Posts: 28,943
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Being a pilot AND A&P/IA mechanic it still brings a smile to my face... most of the time.
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2013 Jag XF, 2002 Dodge Ram 2500 Cummins (the workhorse), 1992 Jaguar XJ S-3 V-12 VDP (one of only 100 examples made), 1969 Jaguar XJ (been in the family since new), 1985 911 Targa backdated to 1973 RS specs with a 3.6 shoehorned in the back, 1959 Austin Healey Sprite (former SCCA H-Prod), 1995 BMW R1100RSL, 1971 & '72 BMW R75/5 "Toaster," Ural Tourist w/sidecar, 1949 Aeronca Sedan / QB |
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07-28-2024, 02:54 PM
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