And I'll be your friend / I'll help you carry on

[wdfifteen]

A couple of years ago, I came across a book with a familiar name on it. It was the name of a friend from college that I hadn’t seen since 1973. The last time I saw him, he was leaving for Ohio State Veterinary school. The subject matter of the book made it likely that this was my old friend. I contacted the publisher and gave him my email to forward to the author of the book. It was, indeed, my old friend, and we started communicating. Last week he came back (he lives in Paris) to give a lecture at Ohio State, and we spent the weekend hanging out and visiting our old haunts. He and Vicki really hit it off. I haven’t had so much fun in a long time. I feel a bit better about life now.
He has had an astonishing career, has lived all over the world, and improved the lives of millions of people. But he came back to Ohio and spent a weekend with this farmer’s kid who hasn’t done crap-all with his life by comparison.
Two years ago my best friend from high school came home for a week, and we hung out for a couple of days. He has lived in Portugal for 20 years, but I do see him every few years.
So, of my two best friends both moved to Europe decades ago. I hope I didn’t have anything to do with that.

[LWJ]

^^^Don't discount yourself. It is shocking the tiny things that you have done that have had immense benefits to others or perhaps benefits that have not even been reaped.

We all have the ability to sow greatness. And many of us do so without even knowing it.

[herr_oberst]

Originally Posted by wdfifteen

So, of my two best friends both moved to Europe decades ago. I hope I didn’t have anything to do with that.

I'll bet you encouraged them to swing for the fences and live their best lives.

[vash]

you all are winning life.

good friends are a blessing.

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by herr_oberst

I'll bet you encouraged them to swing for the fences and live their best lives.

We had an interesting conversation about what pushed us to accomplish what we have.
He is from a Jewish family and grew up on Long Island. His family made it known that he was expected to become some kind of professional. He didn't want to be a doctor or a lawyer, and when I met him, he was really struggling. He came out to Ohio, got a taste of rural life, and settled on being a veterinarian.
I had less overt pressure on me. My uncle was the first person in our family to go to college (I don't think he graduated). He became an aerospace engineer. Our family looked up to him, and it was always, "Your uncle did this, your uncle accomplished that," and it was pretty clear that they wanted us to emulate him, though they didn't explicitly say so. My siblings and I all finished college, and I became an aerospace engineer, like him. I wasn't what I wanted out of life, so I floundered before I found my footing.

What motivated you to choose the life path you chose?

[BK911]

Great story and thread title is one of my favorite songs!

[Rot 911]

Originally Posted by wdfifteen

What motivated you to choose the life path you chose?

I was active duty army for 10 years. Then I worked for 10 months in an aluminum foundry, and another four months as an ironworker. That miserable, backbreaking work inspired me to go to college and then law school!

[oldE]

A year ago my next door neighbor advised me he was fighting cancer. I helped him get to some appointments. My wife baked for him and his wife. I visited him in hospice and went to his funeral.
Another friend I used to play music with is dealing with alzheimers. I visit with him play some songs he likes and get him to talk about whatever he likes.
What the heck else can one do?

[Zeke]

Never had a plan after finishing jr college. I should have studied business. I studied marketing a bit but I wasn't into it at the time. I could have followed my father and grandfather into the advertising business (think Don Draper, my dad must have written the script) but that world at that time was something I repudiated. So college wasn't leading me anywhere.

Always into cars so ended up doing all things cars including racing at different levels. Meaning I was on a F5000 pit crew for a season and raced my silly karts for 40 years. And everything in between with a few ground up restorations and many bought and sold. Never made much money with cars, if any. Made the rent.

However, there were opportunities to venture toward like go to work on the Queen Mary restoration which put me in the trades in 1970. Never left the trades after that but never stayed at one thing, just doing it all as it came. Lots of cars on the side.

Another opportunity got me in the door and window business. That did last 25 years along with some general construction that I was familiar with already. Opportunity gave me some large restoration projects of grand homes as the lead guy but being employed by the owners. Antiques and collectables repair was a result of an opportunity that presented itself. That lasted 10 years from me being 70 to now 80.

To address the comparison to early-in-life friends, of my best friends, one from the racing days, ended up designing and building custom homes. Another went to work for a chicken ranching company for an entire career. He was always good at managing and investing money. So living below his means he is now pretty well off living on a few acres in Santa Rosa in a spectacular home. Got the big shop and all the toys. Reminds me of wdfifteen.

One became a special agent with the IRS. He followed funny money as in cartels, oligarchs and sheikhs. He lived in quite a few places but settled on the CA coast consulting with corporate espionage and fraudulent accounting. Others just meandered off, most made out well to very well but at this point some are dead.

No one I know became famous or lived (traveled) all over the world. The ones that kept their head down got ahead. It's been a good period for the boomers and their successes. I don't think I know of one abject failure from my group.

[Crowbob]

I went to college so I wouldn’t have to bowl.

[Baz]

Nice posts and thread, Patrick. FWIW, I think you've done very well with your life, from what I can see.

My story..... I was in my 3rd year of college at UF, still without a major, although I knew it was going to be something in science.

I was living upstairs in a 6 bedroom 2 story house off campus that was converted to 4 living units downstairs and 2 upstairs with outside stair cases for entry.

My girlfriend at the time came over for a visit and asked to borrow a pair of scissors so she could take some cuttings of the Wandering Jew at the base of my stair case. I had never heard of a plant called Wandering Jew - and was instantly both fascinated and intrigued. I had worked part time at a garden center/nursery in NSB while in high school so already had *some* experience with plants. Well, I ended up taking a Plant Identification course at UF and was hooked. Two years later I got my degree in Ornamental Horticulture and have stayed in it ever since. And that was 48 years ago.

And have to say - my love of plants now is stronger than ever. A few palm pics from my property. That last one is not a palm though...it's a Cycad called a Dioon spinulosum....

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by Crowbob

I went to college so I wouldn’t have to bowl.

I went to college and learned how to smoke a bowl ...

I never really "planned" ... just flapped my wings and soared like a turkey... winging it ... yet I did plan, or I wouldn't be where I landed ....

Patrick, you might not be the reason yer friends went away ... but you are the reason they return.

I hope you and Vicki enjoy this next chapter too

[speeder]

Figure out what you enjoy doing in life and what gives it meaning for you and try to do those things as much as possible. Figure out what you consider depressing non-life affirming and try to avoid those things, (or people), as much as possible. Look forward always and avoid living in the past.

In my mid-60s, my mind is a repository of thoughts and memories, good and bad but I find that the past is a trap, at least for me. It's full of regrets, no matter what you did in life, unless you are an unthinking person. You always could have treated someone better or made better choices, it doesn't matter how "accomplished" someone is. Don't believe me? Avail yourself with the world of literature...it's an endless catalogue of unfulfilled "ballers" throughout history. Nothing else is interesting.

As for people I was friends with when young, it depends on which group. Junior High and HS? College? The people I hung out with as a young guy in LA? They are scattered throughout the world or dead. The Minnesota people, I mostly don't keep up with. The LA people range from homeless to billionaires and only one that I know of is homeless. He had the world by the tail in his 20s but mental illness will take anyone down. I see him sitting cross-legged on the ground on the shopping street in my neighborhood occasionally and stop to talk and/or give him $$. I always walk away feeling immense gratitude, which is the key to happiness. Not money, not old cars, not nostalgia,(!!), just health and friendship. Mental and physical health. IMO, of course.

[speeder]

Originally Posted by BK911

Great story and thread title is one of my favorite songs!

What song is that?

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by speeder

What song is that?

Bill Withers - "Lean On Me" ...

But you knew/forgot that

[speeder]

Originally Posted by KFC911

Bill Withers - "Lean On Me" ...

But you knew/forgot that

I have't listened to that song since yesterday. I was actually thinking that he meant a song title and was mangling Carol King's "You've got a friend..."

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by KFC911

I went to college and learned how to smoke a bowl ...

I never really "planned" ... just flapped my wings and soared like a turkey... winging it ... yet I did plan, or I wouldn't be where I landed ....

Patrick, you might not be the reason yer friends went away ... but you are the reason they return.

I hope you and Vicki enjoy this next chapter too

You sure you didn't just fall out of the sky at a random point? : I think I did once or 2wice. "Winging it" is pretty much how it works for some.

That's a little different than itinerant. For some reason I could not relocate. So I grabbed what was there locally. Which in SoCal is a LOT. I can see the problem with growing up rural. If that is a problem. It might have been for me.

[Seahawk]

'Still Bill".

I wore the grooves out.

Verse 2:

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you won't let show.

Hard to do.

[BK911]

Originally Posted by KFC911

Bill Withers - "Lean On Me" ...

But you knew/forgot that

Who?
I'z talking about Club Nouveau's cover from 1987.
Listed to that over and over during my Gulf cruise on the USS Kidd.

[Baz]

I'll see your "Lean on Me" and raise you a "Carry On"!