Deathbed Requests
 

It was 36 years ago this evening that a dear friend and coworker passed away. I and my two cousins went to visit him while he was at Sloan Kettering dying from cancer. L was a huge man both in stature and personality. A true gentle giant. We were advised by the family to get there ASAP as his death was imminent.

His 19 year old son had just started to work in our company as a helper. A was a inherently smart kid although lacking formal education. L was estranged from his wife and he and A lived together. When we arrived, it was apparent that L was leaving us momentarily. We told stories and this and that. L could only whisper. When the time came we said our goodbyes. As we were walking out of the room he called to us. We
went to him and leaned in close in order to hear him. L faintly whispered, "take care of my son". We said that we would. An hour later, he passed.

A basically lived with myself and my cousin. He helped at home, watched our kids, and really ate a lot as we took turns feeding him.

A became a trusted friend and a skilled employee. He is my best friend, son and brother. I have never regretted taking him in.

So, have any of you been in a similar situation?

Sorry for posting another downer subject.

Best......

Only with dogs. I’ve had half a dozen dogs and only chose one of them. I don’t regret any of it.

My step dad was in Hospice for about a week. He could be kind of a character. At one point we were all pretty certain his last night was eminent. He loved to eat, and his last afternoon he said he wanted a crispy fried chicken sandwich and a small pepperoni pizza. We got it for him, but he didnt eat much of it at the time. We were alone for a bit, and he said to me that he "never got to squeeze really big boobs". I thought that was hilarious. He passed that night, but he had eaten all his sandwich and pizza at some point.

“…….please…delete my browser history…”

Honest answer? My dad pulled me aside at the end and requested that I do my best to be a good person. I slipped up for a bit, but I flew straight afterwards. I think he’s watched me the entire time.

My FIL who was a really lovely human being, had a fantastic sense of humor. He lived a big life. Did amazing things. He promised my MIL 15 good years. Well, he didn't have those to give. It took him seven agonizing long years to die.

On his last day he said to my MIL (who is a large woman) "J, I have one request."

"What is that?" My MIL asked.

"When I am gone, I want a naked picture of you in my coffin."

MIL laughing so hard she can barely talk "Whatever for?"

"So I can remember you in all your glory!"


And he passed the day after. Epic last words from a top notch person. I miss him all the time.

My dad got motor boated by his buddy’s wife with fake boobs. She said he always wanted to. Based on his smile, she was right.

When my grandmother was dying of pancreatic cancer in 1995, I was in her room looking out the window and she mumbled “don’t fight”. She was sedated from morphine and didn’t say anything else. I always wondered if she thought I was my dad and she was advising him due to my parents rocky relationship or if she was giving me some words of wisdom because her own marriage was a sad disaster. All these years later, when I find myself fighting with my wife, I think of that message and remind myself what an a hole I am sometimes

Thank you for posting that...

My former long time gf was a hospice nurse ... she told me stories ... but these are my words ...

It's sorta like a peaceful battle as the end apporoaches and crossing over ... if that makes any sense. Tweeze used to have some insight as to what I speak of ... methinks.

My for certain death bed request ....

PULL THE PLUG!

NOBODY knows what an a-hole I feel like at times ... and that's with my mom & dad ....

Like right now :(.

My Father and I spent a lot of time together in person and over the phone when he was dying from cancer.

He had all the DNRs, EOL stuff done and me as his Executor.

We made some hard decisions in the sense that he knew what he wanted, never wavered and was ready to exit with dignity...I was squeamish but resolute to honor his wishes.

Included in those wishes were some very frank discussions he wanted me to have with my sisters on his passing...the sisters were mentioned in his Will but given nothing.

I know.

I still have the email he sent outlining his rationale. He was right, unfortunately.

His funeral, at West Point was attended my my family, my Step mother and his best friend from his time at West Point, they were not invited and I told them why, which I won't share.

BTW, all I wanted was his Colt Light Weight Commander he bought before he went to Korea and later Vietnam.

I shot it with my son this weekend.

Best to all. Thread of my time here.