Hillbilly Word of the Day
 

"Inhale."

Lifted this from our random pics thread (thanks, Glen). Timing was perfect.

"Why inhale did I even get out of bed this morning?"

*Sigh* Got up to a flat rear tire on the Ducati. Brand new, maybe 200 miles on it. Located the leak, plugged it (fortunately right dead center in the tread), and suited up to ride.

Fired it up, backed it down the driveway, went to pull the clutch to put it in gear. Lever went all the way to the grip without releasing. *Sigh* Shut it down, push it back up the driveway, put it up on the track stand and commence to bleed the system. Gave the banjo bolt on the slave cylinder another quarter turn, since I had recently had it off and probably didn't tighten it enough for fear of stripping it.

On the road, finally. Had a great ride down one of our river valleys to a favorite coffee shop. In leaving, when I went to zip up my jacket, the tab on the zipper broke. Never fear, this isn't my first rodeo, so there were a few paper clips in my pocket just for times like this.

Got home, parked the bike on the track stand, and started to strip down. Pulled the ear plug out of my right ear only to learn that it had apparently pushed a big old goober of earwax way up into my ear canal, effectively plugging it. Now I can't hear, on my wife's side.

*Sigh*... Time for a beer...

South Carolina, 1974: "How far is it from Augusta to Columbia?"

"'bout three beers."

Still true.

A 6-pak and a piss away.

Jeff, when I have days like that I try to remember the times when the gods smile down and make life easy effortless and pleasant.

Is this a distance or a passage of time? Anyway, I like the way it sounds.

I like the classic "fixin-to". As in "Im fixin-to walup you upside the head."

I think the correct answer is "Yes".

(It was on a bumper sticker I saw frequently in the nineteen-seventies.)

Yon-too

I was thinkin about goin inta town an gettin a burger and fries. Yon-too go?

I grew up speakin’ hillbilly. You guys are close
Wyinhay-all?
Fixin ta
Yonta

Hillbilly logic...

When I'm carrying my elderly dog on his morning walk people ask if he is heavy. I say "He's only 10 kilos, but he's a very heavy 10 kilos.'

Hey Higgins,

Tell me again exactly how you got deaf on the wife’s side.

Asking for a friend.

A jersey equivalent..."djeet yet?" "no jew?" = did you eat yet? no did you?

not hillbilly related but similar logic- was shooting a clays tournament with a couple guys one of which seemed a bit off and after the second station the off guy misses all 6 birds. his buddy says 'tough zero' and the off guy says 'yes but it was a STRONG zero'. total deadpan like he was fully invested in it. instantly became one of my favorite people I've ever shot with.

We said that in new yawk too.
Also
"owyadoin"
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Sounds like a day where a beer has been earned-

Some go like that, one new priority shall begat another.

At times I never even get back to the original plan for the day.

An example:

The first morning after 3 weeks away I was standing in the kitchen drinking coffee and minding my own bidness when I heard a pop followed by water running wild, opened the cabinet door to find the plastic cold shutoff valve had broken off and the tide was coming in as a solid stream from where the handed departed- I directed as much as I could into the trash can and yelled for my wife to turn off the main.
That woke me up even better than coffee.

It must have been bumped an weakened during the new sink install we had done a couple years ago.

Fortuitous timing but not at all what I had planned for the day:eek:

"Whatcha know good?"

I asked my uncle once how long it took to drive his tanker gasoline truck from Honolulu to kaneohe. "About 4 smokes" ...He was a brown red neck

Who was the comedian that held up signs of southern/hillbilly/redneck'isms.... all dispeeled...

I got most of 'em .... just everyday sentences inawurd back then :D

I just make up stuff now ;)

Another Jersey one: Ordering in a restaurant..."Webee havin" = We'll be having...

In Army BCT we had a kid from Appalachia who was 26 years old but he looked like he was 42. His name was A.V. Hanners. Had maybe 3 teeth in his skull.

I asked him "What's the A.V. stand for?".

"Nothin', just A.V..... But my people call me Danny".

Well why in the fark didn't they just name you Daniel? I didn't say it but I thought it.

If hillbilly cars had cockpit voice recorders, the last thing we would hear is, "Gitaloadodis. Yeee."