Is Curtis There
 

Ever since I moved to Las Vegas I have been getting numerous calls for Curtis. After awhile they started to go like this...

Me: Hello

Caller: Yes can I speak to Curtis

Me: Who may I say is calling

Caller: Is this Curtis

Me: Who am I speaking to

Caller: Am I speaking to Curtis

Me: Who am I speaking to

Caller: This Jon R#####

Me: Who do you represent

Caller: This is Jon R####

Me: Who do you represent

Caller: I'm with PRS

Me: What is PRS

Caller: Is Curtis there

Me: Well what does PRS mean

Caller: Am I speaking to Curtis

Me: Not until you tell me what kind of business PRS is

CLICk....only once has someone told me what PRS is.....Platium Recovery Service.... a collection agency. And I told him I've only lived here a short while and an old number must still be listed. They than say we'll remove your number from the list.

One call continued like this:

Caller: May I speak to Curtis

Me: Well I'm sorry to say Curtis is dead.....he was in bed with a guys wife when he came home and the guy shot him eight times..It was awfull... I told Curtis not to fool around with her....

Caller: Oh........we'll put that down....Click

A Week Later..............

Me: Hello

Caller: We understand Curtis is deceased....would you know who to........


The other thing is once in awhile I get junk mail addressed to Curtis. And once I got a call from an ex-father inlaw looking for his GrandChildren....with him I was very polite.

Someday you will get a call:

"Hi. This is Curtis. Any messages for me?"

I lived with a girl for a few years, and then we broke up and she moved out. For almost a year I was getting calls for her, mostly from fund-raising organizations, because she was the type to kick a few bucks to anyone with a good story.

The only thing that worked was to start telling callers that she was dead. I made up some good tales, like the A/C adapater for her vibrator that shorted out and electrocuted her - "But she went out with a smile on her face..."

On a similar note, I think I removed myself from the Sacramento Bee's calling list, after the 3rd call in one week - even after explicitly telling them to put me on their DNC list, I said to the poor girl that got me the 3rd time: "Can you hang on a minute; I need to get my pants off and find the hand creme..." *click*

Yes, I'm in the running for the BOFH...