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dd74 12-02-2003 10:52 PM

My brief interaction with a pissed off New York cabbie - in script form...
 
FADE IN:

INT. NY CAB - North on Broadway - Day

The Cab driver is Korean with a thick Korean accent. He's driving the daylights out of his Crown Vic. w/ engine RACING, brakes SQUEALING. Think opening of "RESERVOIR DOGS" or car chase in "TO LIVE AND DIE IN L.A."

I'm in back, tossed and tossled, and wishing I had rosary beads...

CABBIE (driving agressively): So, where you from?

ME (hand gripping armrest): California...L.A.

CABBIE (driving agressively): California? HA-HA-HA-HA. You stupid state, that California. HA-HA-HA-HA. What you got as Governor?

ME (hand gripping armrest): Schwarzenneger?

CABBIE (driving agressively): Yeah! What with that? He actor! Why you elect actor as governor? He boom-boom bad actor!

ME (hand really gripping armrest): He was the only choice we had.

CABBIE (BRAKING agressively; nearly sideswipes UPS TRUCK): You got BAD choice! Hear me? Bad choice. He ACTOR! Whole world laugh at you. HA-HA-HA-HA!

ME (DUCKING down): He'll get rid of the car tax.

CABBIE (ACCELERATING TO 70+): Your car tax bad! Your state bad! I got friends in Van Nuys. Van Nuys bad!

ME (lurching, feeling life slip away): Van Nuys...not...bad...

CABBIE (BRAKING aggressively): All Los Angeles bad! You got bum! You got...who dat guy? Rodney King? You got dat freak...where...Jackson...HA! Look like Joker! You know Joker?

ME (in tears): I know the Joker?

CABBIE (still aggressive): Who?

ME (wishing for "Mommy"): The Joker. I know who the Joker is.

CABBIE (swerve, brake, WOT - HARD) And you got bad drivers! Real bad drivers! Not good like here! Good drivers here! I drive here 22 year!

ME (in hysterics): Bad drivers? There?

CABBIE (PEDAL DOWN HARD: Crown Vic bucking): And bad registration fee. All bad! Here we got bad property tax. I live in Queens! Pay 8 thousand a year! Hate Gulliani! I hate Bloomberg! He no take mayor salary! Who care? Who care? He billionaire, right? I hate Pataki, too! He reason for bad property tax! I pay 8 thousand every year, like I say!

ME (gripping myself desperately): We have sunshine!

CABBIE (ACCELERATING): HA-HA-HA-HA!

ME (looking out back window in shock): That's my stop!

CABBIE (STILL ACCELERATING): HA-HA-HA-HA!

FADE OUT.

BlueSkyJaunte 12-03-2003 04:26 AM

Back in '99 (or maybe '98?) there was a cabbie strike in NYC. Many residents enjoyed the newfound peace, quiet, and reduced risk to life and limb during that time. I remember Giuliani being quoted as saying, "We've gotten a surprisingly large number of calls saying this was one of the more pleasant days in a long time. If they would like to stay home forever, they can stay home forever."

RickM 12-03-2003 05:41 AM

ROFL...that was a good start to my morning....

pwd72s 12-03-2003 08:42 AM

Anybody here had a cab ride in Tokoyo? :D

RickC 12-03-2003 08:51 AM

Mid 1990's. My wife called & said she was having another miscarriage. I hopped in a cab and told the fellow I had to get to LaGuardia in a hurry. At 110mph, passing a Jetta on the right, I saw a Lazy-Boy reclining chair in the lane in front of us. I thought it was the end.....

Somehow I made the plane and lived to tell about the ride....

NY cabbies are a breed apart.....

cstreit 12-03-2003 06:36 PM

Pwd, I have, but always thought they were decent...

The shop owners were often unpleasant!

Adam 12-03-2003 06:58 PM

LOL! :D Thanks, David!

When I was living in Japan, I took a few rides in Tokyo Cabs and the funny thing is that with all the traffic congestion, nobody gets hot under the collar. But when the road opens up and there's a little room, everybody puts the foot down. 80, 90mph plus! It's insane! :eek:

I remember being in the front seat of a friend's 300E doing around 120mph on the highway leading upto Nagano. He was smoking and driving with one hand, passing people without indicating and just chillin' out. I was amazed.

BlueSkyJaunte 12-03-2003 08:42 PM

A family friend took us around Kyoto and the surrounding environs in his Mitsubish Montero. This fellow was a former MechE for Mitsu specializing in gear design.

I have NEVER met anyone as bad as he was at shifting a manual transmission. CRUNCH! CRUNCH! GRIND!!!! SLAM!!! GRIND!!!!

Just thought that was ironic.

The doilies in the cabs always make me snicker.

dd74 12-03-2003 09:06 PM

Yeah? Ever rent an Italian cab driver for the day, in a Fiat four-door no less? We did in Naples. Man! Ferrari is either in the water or the blood with those guys.

Sarah 12-04-2003 09:34 AM

dd74...that was too funny!!

We heard a lot of the same comments when Jesse Ventura was our Governor.

slakjaw 12-04-2003 05:46 PM

no doubt

good story !!

i once came close to a fist fight with a chicago cabbie but my girl was sober so we left.

K


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