Anybody seen this: The President's Resume

[LeeH]

A friend of mine who lives for political discussions sent me this. How much of this is fact and how much political opinion?

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The President’s Resume

Date: Mon, 5 Jan 2004 09:35:20 -0500



RESUME



George W. Bush

The White House, USA



EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:



LAW ENFORCEMENT:

I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol.

I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days.

My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.



MILITARY:

I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use.

By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.



COLLEGE:

I graduated from Yale University with a low C average.

I was a cheerleader.



PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975.

I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas.

The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.



ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.



ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.

In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history.

My "poorest millionaire," Condoleez Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution.

More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent, investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history. I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and

thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

I set the record for the fewest number of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period.

After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families - in wartime.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," WMD.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein to justice.



RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.



PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.

[Jim Richards]

Totally erroneous...Saddam is now a prisioner.

GWB is a disaster.

[Aurel]

I can add, on the economical stanpoint, that the taxcut bill is a stupidity that makes the economy look good on the short run , but will have disastrous consequences on the long run, because it is increasing the bankrupcy of the US government, which will make it less and less attractive for external investers. This is a threat for the world economy, and results in the plunge of the dollar. That combined with the trade deficit and the domestic debt is a very concerning situation. And what is GW doing about it ? Nothing. He does not care, because he will not be in office anymore when the consequences of his wreckless policy happen. Talk about being short sighted...

Aurel

[Aurel]

Oh, and now he is proposing to legalize illegal immigrants. Is not that a little in contradiction with the war on terror ? I mean, if I were a terrorist and I realize that I do not even need to get a visa, just come in illegally and find a job, and then become legal, how cool ! Even the conservatives are a disappointed with that. He would simply do anything to get the mexican vote. This shows what politics are all about...

Aurel

[turbo6bar]

GWB is just like any politician. To think he is any better or worse shows ignorance. At this level of political influence, all are liars, cheats, and criminals--the entire lot of 'em. Do you really think any presidential candidate wears his heart on his sleeve, tells the truth, and does NOT succumb to special interest? If so, you've been taking hits from speeder's bong...

[Aurel]

I fully agree with your statement, turbo6bar. I just happen not to like GW at all, which helps me see better in his game. I think a good definition of politics, in general, would be `The Art of Lie and Deception`

Aurel

[Overpaid Slacker]

That contains enough half-truth and omissions of material facts necessary in order to make the statements made, in light of the circumstances under which they were made, not misleading to warp time-space.

Aurel -- I agree w/ you re: illegal immigrants up to a point. I don't think it's a contradiction of the war on terror, but it's not going to help. I think the policy is to be that if you're already here, we'll give you a 3-year grace period (or some such nonsense).
But, I'm curious about how your admitted dislike for W somehow elevates your insight? Does that mean that all the slathering Clinton-haters are much better equipped to opine on his performance, and therefore ought to be deferred to, w/o critique or context?
It may be the first time I've ever heard someone say that their anti-X bias makes them a better analyst of X; Orwellian, almost -- weakness is strength, lie is truth, bias is credential.

JP

[Aurel]

Slacker

Life is all about perception, and there is no observation unbiased from the observer. This truth probably finds its source in quantum mechanics, where a well known theorem states that you cannot observe an elementary particle without modifying its state. No one on earth can claim to have an unbiased judgement. Even in science, which I practive daily, once you `feel` that an experiment is working, you delibaretely improve it to make it work better. Therefore, you may observe new things that may never have been observed before. You may even create new matter, new effects, which potentially existed, but never were revealed. Bias is an extremly creative force, especially in politics...
Thus, my bias empowers my analysis of GW`s failure !

Aurel

[Overpaid Slacker]

Aurel, I think you can observe W without disturbing him. Heisenberg was not a political theoretician at heart .
I'm not saying anyone could (or really, even should) have an unbiased opinion -- though perhaps it should be dispassionate. I'd say your bias *motivates* your willingness to find failure where it might not exist or to believe what you'd like to believe w/o what many might consider requisite scrutiny. If that's what you call "analysis" then welcome to Oceania.

"Empower[ing] analysis" is also a different animal than "see[ing] better"; and you forgot the"QED".

Best,
JP

[emcon5]

Originally posted by Aurel
No one on earth can claim to have an unbiased judgement.

There is a difference in a judgement bias and spreading nonsense as fact, which the majority of that "resume" is.

It is picked apart in detail, with links to references here:

http://www.crossbearer.com/resume/The_Truth.pdf

Tom

[speeder]

There was an interesting article yesterday in the NY Times about how the balooning U.S. deficit threatens the world economy.

I'm always amused by statements to the effect that, "all leaders are the same/they're all crooked, therefore their actions don't really even matter, blah, blah, etc........."

Talk about intellectual laziness and dishonesty. Facists love voters to think this way.

[Moses]

Imagine the resume's of Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, and Winston Churchill. For a real disaster, try Abraham Lincoln, Andrew Jackson, Andrew Johnson and Lyndon Johnson.

The GWB resume is cute, funny, and meaningless.

[dd74]

The illegal alien issue is merely a documentation program that will assist the Homeland Security dept. to keep track of who comes into this country.

The conservatives feel it grants amnesty. The dems believe it is a campaign ploy.

The interesting thing is it lasts only three years, which will be well into Bush's 2nd term. After that, when these illegals start to stir in anger about not being allowed to stay, Bush will be well on his way. It is completely short-sighted as it does nothing to put the illegals on the fast track toward naturalization. What it does do is conjures up garaunteed cheap labor for a while, but more importantly, as Bush believes, sets him up to get the Hispanic vote, which he's been courting lately.

This bill is a disaster waiting to happen. But what does Bush care? He'll be gone by the time the **** hits the fan on this one!

[Jim Richards]

That's his M.O.

[Overpaid Slacker]

My admittedly scant knowledge of this program doesn't quite sync w/ dd74's -
It's not a matter of treating people coming into this country on a prospective basis, but granting those that are already here some (most?)of the rights Americans enjoy. For each person, it's a three-year "amnesty" or whatever you'd call it, but it's renewable (according to the terms of his proposal) for an indefinite period of time.
I'm not in favor of it, and I'm not wild about illegal aliens being here in the first place, but they're already here, and one of W's points that's not strictly marketing spin is that, if we relieve our law enforcement personnel of the burden of having to chase down those that are already here and documented, they can move back to patrolling the borders.

Jim - cheap shots appear to be yours.

JP

[dd74]

GW could do a lot better by just granting general "amnesty" as did Reagan, instead of ferreting out what will basically be Latinos, who aren't much of a threat anyway in the way that the term "they will be reviewed in three years" plays to me in a Homeland Security sort of way.

Yeah, they're going to terrorize us with cheap labor. Well that's already the case, right?

I don't think anyone's going to like this in the end, except a Democratic Presidential Candidate - but have they criticized Bush about this yet? I don't know. Seems like another fat hanging curve to me just like the realization there were never WMDs in Iraq from earlier today.

[slakjaw]

from that resume it seems that he really is a looser!!

[emcon5]

Originally posted by slakjaw
from that resume it seems that he really is a looser!!

As opposed to a tighter?

If it was true, it certainly would make him look like a loser. Good thing little of it is true.

Once again, pretty much every line is either false, exagerated, or outside the scope of the presidents power.

Read all about it.

Tom

[Overpaid Slacker]

Even if this doesn't play out as proposed (which I doubt very much that it will - and let me reiterate, I'm not a cheerleader for this proposal) the message that it sends, especially to Latinos, is that, in the Republican realignment they're a welcome constituency. The battle for the center (and for pulling the Republican party more toward that center) just heated up quite a bit.
JP

[CamB]

When in doubt over something emailed to you like that (for me - everything like that emailed to me ), try www.snopes.com

As Slacker said, it's predominantly half truths or stuff outside Bush's control.