You know the Academy Awards are coming up because...
 

-- Your kid's school is closed the day of the awards because half the parents are "industry people."

-- Police and SWAT presence has increased exponentially around the Kodak Theater on Hollywood Boulevard.

-- Street construction has suddenly sprouted up everywhere to pave and smooth the pavement.

-- The homeless are nowhere to be found.

-- Everyone in the industry is unnervingly nice to each other.

-- Silicone implants are suddenly in short supply.

-- Firemen are hunched over laptops in Starbucks, rewriting their spec scripts.

You missed one dd74...U can't get a date with a Hooker cause they're all booked up!

Excuse me: out here we call them "women of opportunity."

i was drinking water while reading....

water out my nose, you *********. i've gotta maintain a certain level of professional behavour at work.
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