Telemarketers!!!!
 

So anyway, I'm at work the phone rings. It's Wells Fargo, or rather one of the survey companies that they use.

And the questioner asks me if I speak ENGLISH

Jezzzz...

That's pretty good! Wanna hear another funny telemarketer story? I've had telemarketers call just for my answering machine message -- I can hear the laughter in the background, and it's the same number twice on the caller ID. Wierd!

Dan

Dan,

You can't just leave us hanging... Can you post the audio somewhere

It goes like this:
(voice of scam-type salesman announcer)
"Have you ever wanted to obliterate an arbitrary country? ... Thank you for calling Mike and Dan's Nuclear Warhead Delivery Service -- anywhere in the world in 30 minutes or less, or your money back. ... (very fast, softer voice) Offer not valid in Botswana, Lithuania, or Taiwan, some restrictions may apply."

It's funnier if you know that both my room-mate and I work on ballistic missile submarines capable of actually delivering said warhead(s). :)

Dan

you ever hear that comedian that terrorizes telemarketers? i cant remember his name...jeff cosarian??? he is the funniest! he once pretended he accidentally killed his granddad while someone was on the phone trying to sell him something. classic!

That's outstanding, Cliff! If I had a good comedy routine to use, believe me, I would. Has anybody seen the Ren and Stimpy where they're door to door rubber-nipple salesman? I do the horse-man routine to d2d people pretty routinely. Sometimes it totally freaks them out -- those are the ones who never come back. Other people recognize it, then we laugh and talk and I tell them to go away and never come back, usually while brandishing the sword (SWORD!!) that sits next to the door. That works, too. Now if only I could wield a sword against a telemarketer...


Dan

It's Tom Mabe. He's a riot.

http://www.tommabe.com/

Im a telephone surveyor , don't make fun of us! :D You know, by answering surveys you're helping the economy by creating jobs. So dont complain!! :D