A Menu of Philosophical Options
 

Taoism: Zhit happens.
Confucianism: Confucius says, "Zhit happens."
Buddhism: If zhit happens, it isn't really zhit.
Zen: What is the sound of zhit happening?
Hinduism: This zhit happened before.
Islam: If zhit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Protestanism: Let zhit happen to someone else.
Catholicism: If zhit happens, you deserved it.
Judaism: Why does zhit always happen to us?
New Age: It is not zhit, and it is not happening.
Christian Science: Zhit does not happen.
Sufism: Zhit whirls.
Baha'i: Zhit is one.
Hare Krishna: Zhit happens, zhit happens, happens, happens,
zhit, zhit.
Jehovah's Witness: Zhit is coming.
Vedanta: Zhit is an illusion.
Paganism: The gods are zhit.
Shamanism: Zhit is fertilizer.
Atheism: No zhit!
est: I acknowledge my zhit, and it's okay.
Existentialism: So, zhit happens.
Agnosticism: Maybe there is zhit, maybe not.
Marxism: We have nothing to lose but our zhit.
Humanists: We zhit, therefore we are.
Cynics: We doubt zhit.
Stoics: We accept zhit.
Epicureanism: Ignore zhit, be happy.
Cannabalism: Eat zhit.
Freemasonry: We know zhit, you don't.
Voodoo: We interpret zhit.
Capitalism: Zhit has a price.
Wicca: Mom's giving me zhit.
Oral Roberts: Send money or zhit will happen.
National Rifle Association: Zhit doesn't happen, people do.
NAACP: Zhit is a terrible thing to waste.
Jerry Falwell: "#*>! happens.
National Organization of Women: Men are zhit.
Rastafarian: This is good zhit.



I got a chuckle out of it, anyway....

Ed

Funny! Thanks!!!

I've never seen such a complete list before. Outstanding!