Office politics question: co-worker's mother passed away

[Neilk]

Hi,

I work in a small office and one of my co-workers, who is nice but I wouldn't consider a friend, just lost her mother. One of our other co-workers just told me that he was going to the funeral and was kind of expecting me to go. I have never met my co-worker's mother and I am really not keen on going to another funeral this year.

Would you feel like you have to attend the funeral? To me funerals are somewhat private and I wouldn't want a bunch of strangers coming to mine. Maybe I'm odd.

Thanks for the advice.

[mikester]

I wouldn't go. Get them a car or something though, that's appropriate.

[RickM]

When my beautiful mom passed away last year I had several people from work (and places I used to work) come to the wake but few to the funeral. I felt the funeral was a bit more personal and I understood if peaople shyed away.
(By funeral I mean going to the burial spot and saying a prayer after a mass or gathering.)

The bottom line was that I really appreciated anyone coming in person to offer condolences. However, the cards, flowers or even a few words at home, work or phone meant alot as well. I knew it was an uncomfortable time for both sides.

Do what you can, even if this person is just an acquaintance.
Don't be afraid or feel awkward or else you'll do nothing.

[mikester]

I agree with Rick, the wake is an appropriate place for you to express yourself to them.

[Moneyguy1]

There is nothing wrong with a small select group from the office attending the funeral. When my mom passed away 10 years ago, one office co-worker even stopped at the house with a fresh baked pie. I will never forget that act of kindness.

[Don 944 LA]

When my father passed, my bosses boss came to the funeral.. I had known him as a friend for many years before working together.
If anyone else would have come from work, I feel that family and coworkers would have felt that it was out of place.

If you considered this coworker a friend, I would go to support her, if not, then flowers and a card are always nice.
Also, if there is a very small service, it may need filling up ??

Just my opinion though...