One Nation Under God
 

A college professor, an avowed Atheist, was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated that there is no God, the expression, "One Nation Under God", was unconstitutional, and further, he was going to prove there is no God. Addressing the ceiling he shouted:

"God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!"
The lecture room fell silent. You could have heard a pin fall. Ten minutes went by. Again he taunted God, saying, "Here I am, God. I'm still waiting."

His countdown got down to the last couple of minutes when a Marine just released from active duty and newly registered in the class walked up to the professor, hit him full force in the face, and sent him ass over teacups from his lofty platform. The professor was out cold! At first the students were shocked and babbled in confusion.

The young Marine took a seat in the front row and sat silent. The class fell silent...waiting.

Eventually, the professor came to, shaken. He looked at the young Marine in the front row. When he regained his senses and could speak he yelled, "What's the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

"God was busy. He sent me."
God Bless America! (and the Marines)

:rolleyes:

You've beautifully encapsulated the problem with religion: all these people running around doing weird crap claiming it's on god's behalf.

1 nation under Canada but over Mexico.

So what's the point? A college professor gets to sue an off-kilter half-cocked jarhead? Terrific. I hope the college professor has fun playing God to this Marine's bank account.

Tough room, eh Ron?

Oorah USMC! lol, funny stuff.

Similar story -- there was a professor who announced every year at the beginning of his class that there was no God. He proved this by taking an egg and holding it out at arm's reach. "If there is a God, then when I drop this egg, he will keep it from breaking in his divine infinite mercy." One year, a student raised his hand before the professor dropped the egg: "Professor, if I might, would you allow me to pray before you drop the egg?"

The professor smirked and agreed that the student could pray to his non-existant God. "God, I pray that you'd keep the egg from breaking. ... Or, if the egg breaks, I pray that you'd take this man's life." Arguably not a very Godly prayer, but ... the professor solemnly returned the egg to his drawer and continued teaching.


Dan

Sounds like the Marine got an "F", an assault and battery conviction, and a dishonorable discharge.

so why did the chicken cross the road?

Widebody is right - violence in the name of God doesn't convince anyone. In fact it does more harm than good.

The marine should have pointed out Matthew chapter 12 verses 38 and 39

"Then certain of the scribes and of the Pharisees answered, saying, Master, we would see a sign from thee.
But he answered and said unto them, An evil and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign; and there shall no sign be given to it, but the sign of the prophet Jonah:"

You can't force someone to believe in God. All you can do is present your beliefs to that person in a rational manner. If that person doesn't believe as you do, then you go on your way.

This is the exact problem that we're having right now with Islamic fundamentalists - the idea that everyone has to conform to that religeon or die.

As a Mormon we have an article of faith that goes:

"We claim the privilege of worshiping almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience and allow others that same privilege. Let them worship who, where or what they may."

If you want to worship the sun, or money or Mohammed or the Savior, you have your free agency.

Politics and religeon are two volatile subjects to be sure. It's best if a person presents his argument to the best of his ability and if that argument is rejected - so be it. That's my sermon for today.

So he could smack Thom in the face?

:D

I agree

also, I'm an athiest..

The professor, like all "real" athiests, could be considered a fool. Why? Because the existence or non existence of a Creator is an unprovable. Only fools try to prove an unprovable. Therefore, case closed. Cute story but the Marine is wrong as well.

To be uncertain, or agnostic. makes more sense.

I am not against athiesm any more than I am against religious extremists. Neither can prove their case beyond a reasonable doubt.

However, I AM fairly convinced that there are spirits that curse those with Porsches at te most inopportune times, and bless those they choose to by letting failures happen in the driveway rather that 29 miles from home.

THree men are captured during a religious war?

"Do you believe in God?"

"No."

(BANG)

"Do YOU believe in God?"

"No."

(BANG)

"Now, you, do YOU believe in God?"

"Yes!! Yes!!"

"Do you believe in MY God?"

"Well, no.."

(BANG)

Hmmm...so Bob, are you...um...having problems with your 944?

Ahhh KRAP! The psyhcos from Rennlist have arrived!...(I still miss Devia)

God Bless America.

the rest the planet can go to hell.

that's what it seems like these days.

:rolleyes:

DD:

Yup....

Are you going to start?

No.

(BANG)

it's atheist. ATHEIST. ATHEIST!!

jesus! (well, not him personally)

good.. this started as a PM to you and I hit the wrong button.