Joke thread is a great idea - but a little Porsche content please!
 

Joe Clarke was looking to find a new wrench for his fleet of Porsches. After due process he narrowed his list down to three recent arrivals from Europe - all of them happened to be women. After having some difficulty making a choice between them, and on the advice of his retiring mechanic John Cramer, he decided to set up a bit of a test for each of them:

The '75 911 was turned over to Helga for a 3.2/G50 conversion. In a scant 9 days Helga sourced an appropriate donor car, completed the swap and returned the completed car to Joe, on-time, on-budget.

The '88 Carerra was then turned over to Svetlana for twin-plugging and an MSD/carb conversion. In less than a week she not only completed the project as specified; she also took the time to repaint the car to match Joe's sea-green eyes.

The '97 TT was then turned over to Martina for an oil change (the car was simply in want of nothing else). She performed this minor service as requested, but also took it upon herself to perform a cabriolet conversion (she happened to overhear Joe remarking about how much more he would love his 993, if only it were a cab) and still delivered the car back to Joe before sunset.

After completing this little test “exercise” with each of his potential new wrenches, Joe related the results to John Cramer.

“Wow, that must have been a tough decision” observed John. “Helga shows excellent mechanical skills topped with excellent awareness of the need to save a dollar. But Svetlana is obviously skilled in paint and body work in addition to her mechanical talents. Then there’s Martina – you simply couldn’t go wrong with someone of such well rounded skills – on top of which she is apparently completely responsive to your every need and whim”.

“I don’t envy you your decision Joe… tell me which one did you finally pick?”









“Why the one with the big tits, of course!” remarked Joe.

good thinking joe! she wont need to take you to the cleaners cost wise for a boob job now that shes in the states.

Bob walks into the office at his Porsche mechanics shop. Behind the desk is a new sign. It says;

Trial lawyers and their cars not welcome.

Bob asks his mechanic why he has the new sign. The mechanic says it's because all trial lawyers are *********s. Bob tells his mechanic he's terribly offended and he's going to take his business elsewhere. The mechanic apologizes, saying, "Sorry, Bob. I didn't know you were a lawyer."

"I'm not." replied Bob. "I'm an *********."