Rant: Hypocritical Christian Women

[djmcmath]

Begin Rant
So I’m at church last night, right? It’s something I do on Tuesdays. And I’m looking around at the girls, because I’m a single guy, and that’s something I do, is look around at single girls. As a Christian guy, people have been telling me for years that you can’t judge a book by it’s cover, that looks are unimportant, etc. I have, in fact, been recently reprimanded for making decisions about which girls to ask on dates based on externally visible characteristics. I disagree quite strongly with that idea. While looks are often deceiving, I believe there are a number of things that are obvious just from looking at a girl.

Here’s what I picked up last night – looking around the room at the girls, I noticed that every girl with a physical attribute worth showing off had chosen clothing to maximize her attractive value. The bible tells us in several places that women should dress with modesty and decency, but as I looked around, I saw pretty much none of that. Instead I saw shallow and hypocritical women, shopping for shallow men in the “deep men” section of the department store. Some of you will argue that the men were certainly just as hypocritical, and men are all alike, etc. I will agree, but note that there were two exceptions to the dress code, and both of them had boyfriends present – in stark contrast to the “advertisers,” who are historically dateless.

Even better, the lesson last night was on “Boundaries in Dating,” a lesson that lends itself to rabbit-trails complaining about dating problems. (Did I mention it’s a singles group?) The most outspoken complainers against men were the most immodest in their choice of dress. The puzzle fits together – you have baited your hook for shallow men, and find that in fact, you attract shallow men? I’m trying to mask my shock and surprise…

Do churches promote, endorse, or encourage hypocrisy? Did I miss the lesson on how to be a hypocrite? Is there another verse I'm missing that should redefine my priorities?

Is this indecency a cultural thing – do they not realize that they appear to be selling their bodies because everyone is dressing in this fashion?

Do these girls not look around and realize that the only girls with steady boyfriends have chosen to dress modestly? Do they not suspect that perhaps, if they clothed themselves with good works and godliness, as is biblical, they too could have decent honorable boyfriends?

(sigh)
End Rant


Rant Notes:
RN1 – Rants are by nature illogical. Attempting to call out the above ranter on his logical fallacies will earn you the “obvious” tag. Of course it’s illogical: it’s a rant.
RN2 – Normal male communication requires a helpful response. Normally, a male will post when he has no answer and needs help finding one. Ex: “My transmission is broken and I don’t know what to do.” A rant is not like that, but is rather an emotional outburst that requires nothing more than acknowledgement. Ex: “I hear ya cluckin’, brother.” Helpful assistance is always welcome, of course, but a rant is never to be considered as a request for help, an invitation for assistance, etc.
RN3 – Structure, or lack thereof: the above rant is essentially unformatted, and as a rant, is not required to meet any organizational or structural requirements. No opening paragraph, supporting arguments, or closing thought is required.

[Rot 911]

It's a cultural thing. Just go to a church service anywhere on Easter morning. Now how am the hell I am supposed to be having christian thoughts when the girls all go parading by in mini skirts and skin tight tops? Unable to control my lust, I have quit going to Easter morning church services. I told my wife I just don't like the crowds.

[widebody911]

Allegedly, women don't dress for men, but to compete with other women

Since this was a singles event, these saucy little whores of Babylon are fishing, too. Everything is relative; what's racey in the great north-wet is probably funeral attire here in California.

Then again, what we call 'conservative' now would have got a girl excommunicated if she'd worn it to church 100 years ago.

Did you go in coveralls, or maybe a nice burlap sack? Or were you being a hypocrite and wearing those Bugle Boy Jeans that accentuate your ass just so?

Chill out and enjoy the view.

Sounds like sour grapes to me; looks like someone didn't get to go forth and multiply last night...

Girls complain less when their mouth is full.

[Z-man]

Difficult situation.

I used to be a leader at my church's singles group (" College & Career" folks - 20 to 30's) I have also been a high school youth group counselor in church, and was also a team leader on several teen-based missions trips to Africa and Europe. I went to Christian schools all my life, and I have a minor in Biblical Studies from a Christian school (Messiah College - GO FALCONS! )

Now that I have my 'creditials' out of the way (cough cough), here's my $0.42:

djmcmath: you are absolutely right - there is a large amount of hypocricy amongst single Christian woman. As a matter of fact, there is just about as much hypocricy amongst these woman as there is amongst Christian MEN. (Surprise, surprise!) I have seen and heard way too many Christian men stated "I think it's God's will for us to date," when they really mean, "I just really want to get into your pants." I also notice that often the guys who 'complain' about how women dress & behave make sure they point out the 'offensive' women to their buddies: "Hey, check out what Melissa's wearing. We need to pray for her." You might as well say, "Hey, check out the rack on Melissa. Nice!" Hypocrisy is evident on both sides. Note: I am not saying that you do either of the two examples I gave, dj, but that is what I've observed.

Let's be honest - God created woman in a way that is physically attractive for man. This is good. Woman know this, and often make sure that man takes notice of her! Again, to a certain point, this is good - think of it like a coordinated frame to match a pretty picture. It's human nature to like attention. The problem, IMHO, is when instead of complementing her natural beauty, a woman puts out a NEON SIGN.

There is a time and place for everything. My wife is very beautiful. (Why, she's the most beautiful woman in the world, in my not-so-humble opionion). She wears attractive, but not immodest clothes when we are in public. When we are at home and alone, it's different. Is it wrong for her to run around the house scantily clad? Of course not! (Be glad I didn't say I run around the house scantily clad - just imagine a visual of me, if you will.... ) Some women know how to dress in certain situations, while others really don't understand their effects on men. However, men do have the option to turn their neck instead of gawking at such women.

I know you aren't looking for a solution, but here's a thought - try to talk with one of the girlfriend/boyfriend couples you mention (both the girl and the guy) about the situation - perhaps the girlfriend can give her friends some pointers about what they are wearing and how it effects the male libido.

Something that I would recommend you doing when talking with a woman who may be dressed inappropriately is to talk to HER, and not her boobs. That way, she will know you put more value in HER than her body. BTW: IMHO, the same thing can be applied outside the Christian realm - if you speak to a woman without gawking her, most of the time she will appreciate that more than if you're unclothing her in your mind's eye.

-Z-man.

[nostatic]

did you bang any of them?!? Just remember, no means yes. And take Mark's advice to heart. Or to some other body part.

[lendaddy]

It's really not the womans fault entirely. They actually think that's what men want to see, even the"deep water" ones. That being said, for the most part you are correct, a chick with half her titty showing in church is probably not relationship worthy but she may be "relations" worthy

I have defended Christians many times here, but I do not go to church and would not consider myself "religious" really. I respect their beliefs etc.. but the massive hypocricy I see in churches makes me want to puke. I think I am better off on my own.

Disclaimer:

This does not mean I think all church goers are hypocrits, not in the slightest. I simply think the actual organizations are run more like businesses than they were ever intended to be. Many, not all, churches around here could pass as fashion/car shows, not good IMHO.

[Rot 911]

After thinking over this topic and all the deep and meaningful responses, I am rethinking going back to church on Easter mornings! Hoochie mama!

[widebody911]

If the sight of under-dressed females in church disturbs you, there's always the Rainbow Sash Movement

I went to catholic middle and high school. My most important lesson was that the girls who were the most devout on the outside were the most devious on the inside . Even more so as you get older, the less flashy women tend to be a much better catch once you get 'em in the boat; they're used to having to work harder, while the flashy trollops get away with just laying there.

In the longshot that there really is a hell, I'm going. Save a cold spot for me, will ya?

[project935]

<---heathen
This thread is worthless w/o pics!

[nostatic]

oh, you're going to burn in hell for this one

Originally posted by lendaddy
It's really the womans fault entirely. They actually think men want to see the deep ones.

This does mean I think all church goers are hypocrits, not good IMHO.

[lendaddy]

That Lendaddy guy sounds like a real prick, I say we ban him.

[Overpaid Slacker]

My experience has been that the more a woman emphasizes physical attributes, the less confident she is in what ought to be her non-aesthetic virtues. Not that I haven't gone after/out with some hotties who dress to impress but I factor the foregoing into the decision to get involved in the first place.

As far as whether these women you refer to are being hypocritical vis-a-vis their faith... I don't know about that. Faith doesn't exist in a vacuum, and these women may practice theirs in the context of what they view as their societal pressures -- hair done just so, make-up, revealing clothing, etc. -- not seeing (or ignoring) any tension between the two.

I agree that the women that lament the character of the men they date/attract are usually bringing their fate upon themselves. The last thing most people do (and especially women) when dissatisfied with their lives in some respect is look first into the mirror (figuratively -- women spend too much time in front of the looking glass already).

I think there is a lot of truth in women dressing for other women. Why the mania about what is the current fashion, what is the most vogue hairstyle, etc. -- "nuances" that men are largely unaware of. But women chase this wil-o-wisp pathologically, though it will make no difference to 99.9% of straight men whether she looks nice or whether she looks nice and is wearing what Jessica Simpson wore last week in Elle and has Jimmy Choo (Chu?) shoes, matching her MAC nail polish and lipstick, etc. The audience for those performances is strictly XX chromosome.

The following exchange has happened a few too many times:

Setting -- my apt, about 10 mins before me and the then-grilf *have to* leave to get somewhere on time. I've been dressed, coiffed and ready to roll for 10 minutes. Grilf is still in wet-hair and towel stage... running sorties back and forth between the bathroom and the closet every 45 seconds or so, moving fast so I'll think she's *really* trying to get ready and maybe occasionally huffing b/c she's annoyed at "being rushed" by something as fascist as a timetable she's known about for at least a week ...

Me: Hon, we've got 10 minutes, and you're not looking 10 minutes from ready to walk out of here... can you hurry it up a bit, I don't want to extend our late streak to twelve.

Grilf makes one of the variety of stock responses -- I'll be ready, or I'm trying to find ________ or which do you think goes with _______, etc.

Me: Look, I really don't want to be late again; I think I mentioned that this morning, and 5 hours ago, and 2 hours ago... remember last time when I said you should start getting ready 30 mins before I started getting ready? That's to avoid all this...

Grilf: But, baby, I want to look good for you (delivered with a slight whine)

Me (blackbelt judoka in flipping passive-aggression): Oh, this is something you're doing for me? You know what I'd like you to do *for* me -- let us get out of here on time for once. I don't care if you wear jeans and a t-shirt, and you know that; exactly that point has come up the last dozen times I've been standing here waiting for you and we've been late to where we're going.

So all this (hand gestures about hair and make-up and clothes and manicures, etc.) is not *for* me -- it's for you, and at the expense of my time, so you can try to impress the other girls who are right now squandering their boyfriends' time while they try too hard to impress you. It's not *for* me .. don't even indulge the fantasy that I'm going to buy that line of bull***** for a second.

Geez, my blood pressure shot up just re-living that bull*****. I coulda gone on for paragraphs about it... think I'll just count to ten and go have a smoke or something.

JP

[dd74]

I hear you cluckin'. When I used to go to midnight mass, I was always the last to rise from the kneeling pad. Sometimes I just couldn't pray enough...

[Overpaid Slacker]

Now everybody's hearing the cluckin'?

JP

[Z-man]

Overpaid - your post is hilarious! I've been there way too many times! Dress and ready to go, but she's still putting on the makeup...

Except with me, when I finally dispair and realize we won't make it on time, I sit down and start watching TV, to which Mrs. Z-man states, "What are you doing! Turn off that thing and get ready! We're going to be late!"


-Z.

[nostatic]

Originally posted by lendaddy
That Lendaddy guy sounds like a real prick, I say we ban him.

Or just ban his prick

Originally posted by nostatic
Or just ban his prick

You absolutely positively cannot say that here.

[juanbenae]

if they make me wait like slacker describes i start drinking beers. its bad enough that i usually over indulge at the affair, but when you use this unspoken threat of being loaded before you even show up, they hurry.

when im drunk in my good clothes, im still drunk.

i heard church was a good place to find chicks, but i did not know churches promoted the single services so much. i need to attend church, again (no strike that, never went), more often (see previous), maybe start attending.

will i go to hell with wide if i think dirty thoughts about girl i see in church?

[mikester]

Originally posted by Mark Wilson
Girls complain less when their mouth is full.

Best response Ever.