Thanks all for the thoughts. Actually, its not about the money. I don't need the second building, it would be nice to have, but I certainly don't need it. Would I let her move in without the $100K? Probably not at this point, because the idea is to build her a separate living space, own garage, own kitchen, etc. I would prefer not to sit in the living room with her every night. Since the other siblings will see the $100K as mine and their inheritance, that they should have a share of I'm sure that I'd some how end up losing some money, because what I get is a second building instead of some cash inheritance, and if I inherited the money, I certainly wouldn't put building another structure at the top of my list of project. I think she has a couple hundred thousand put away, but we have to talk about that.

i didnt even notice the 100 large. heck, for another garage in the bay area, i will let her move in with me! j/k

my mom's head explodes when we talk about her money. she just pictures us as money grabbing idiots. so i dont say a damn thing. i hope she spends every dime. she has helped me enough.

Cliff, Your Korean friends still with ya?

rick, i am free and clear.

Your a good man....Karma is on your side.

My MIL is a very sweet & wise lady that has decided to spend her children's inheritance on them before she passes to eliminate any squabbles after her death. Next year we are all going on a two week all expense paid vacation to Orlando. She is currently helping her youngest son buy a home & she already helped her two other children get their first homes.

When I was living in Germany I noticed that most families have 3 or 4 generations living in the same home & it is my understanding that this is also common in the Asian community.

That being said I can only handle my MIL or my own mother in small doses & it would be a huge strain on our marriage if either moved in with us, but we would do the right thing if circumstances warrant.

It's too bad that the other siblings concern themselves with how your MIL spends her money. I have never expected any inheritance, & any would be a surprise to me. I imagine that if she lived in a separate house on your property, it wouldn't be a big problem as long as she gave you all your privacy.

I would think two considerations would have to be made. 1) Do you have the room or will you be crowded? 2) Do you get along very well with your MIL.

If you answer is yes to both I don't see a problem with having a maid, I mean MIL, move in.

Just set the ground rules ahead of time. The tables have finally turned from when you were a child fighting for freedom with your parents. Now it is your turn to say this is your house and you make the rules.

Look at it this way, Shes your wifes mother not your mother in law.

My MIL moved in with us a few years ago when she lost her job. She had the whole basement to herself, I'm talking 800 sq.ft. with a full bath. Anyway I told her she could stay as long as she wanted. After about a year she got another job and wanted to move into an apartment. The sad thing is she had to sell the house she just bought a year earlier.

Inheritance can cause bad blood. Everyone wants more. I told my mother to leave me out because I don't want to fight with my sibs over stuff.
Set up ground rules. Do it because you want to, nothing else. Hope it works out for you.

If my MIL showed up on the doorstep I would head out the back door.

We had a great relationship until we moved across the country, now everytime she visits she talks to my wife about leaving me and coming "home", she also talks that way to my 8 year old daughter. the last straw was that my wife took her to NYC and they stayed at the Waldorf, she complained that i was a cheap SOB because I didnt get them a bigger suite. My wife dropped her at the airport a week early and told her not to bother to call. i will keep the wife and stay as far as possible from the MIL

my girlfriends mom is damn nice to me. i think she really approves of me for her daughter. her dad, approves of me, but i could give a rat's ass, i dont see life from his perspective.

are there any warning signs, about crazed MIL's? :)