How much are you home?

4to8m8 · 4to8m8's Garage

I guess you could say I'm right in the middle of those prime earning years at 38. This is the time to stay focused and work,work,work right?? Wife (stay at home mom, which i insist) two kids, nice home in great neighborhood with two min walk to beach. two college plans AND retirement to save for. This is all do able with current income but in doing so man I miss out on everything!! Some times I find myself daydreaming about scaling down to a little house on the prairie. Do any of your professions keep you away from the family? I need someone to tell me it's all worth it!

Superman · 09-01-2004, 04:22 PM

Then you need to find someone else. My comments would probably not sit well with you.

4to8m8 · 4to8m8's Garage

C'mon, hit me!

09-01-2004, 04:46 PM

slow down

Superman · 09-01-2004, 04:54 PM

Yep. Slow down. Not only is life passing you by, the part you're missing is the BEST part. Kinda like that comedian guy's remark when he heard that cigarettes take two minutes off your life. His question: "But the two minutes....they come off the END, right?"

Another popular quote: There are no gravestones that say "I wish I had spent more time at the office."

Sure, you can try to store away treasures and have some happy twilight years. In the meantime, your youth is passing you by.

Rot 911 · 09-01-2004, 05:10 PM

I'm an attorney and do pretty well. Could be making a lot more money than I am, but I choose not to. The trade off is (unless I am in trial) is to take off every Friday at noon (or all day if I have something fun planned). I try to share the kid duties with my wife equally (ok she does more). We keep our weekends free for ourselves, always take a week off for the July 4th holiday, 5 days for Thanksgiving, 5 days at Christmas (all spent with family/relatives) and try to take an additional 7 day vacation (just us) every fall. My wife and I have yet to say to each other "You know if we worked more we could buy more things." Not a bad life even if it is in mid-Missouri!

4to8m8 · 4to8m8's Garage

Kurt V, Sounds like a healthy ballance. Actually it sounds perfect!

cegerer · cegerer's Garage

It's all about quality of life. There're many different ways to achieve that. I was a one-man consulting firm for many years working 10-14 hours, 7 days a week. About 4-5 years ago, I was at a crossroads. Either I needed to hire people to help me or I needed to cut my standard of living and find a lo-stress profession - perhaps pushing an ice cream cart. I decided to hire people. I now delegate as much as possible and try to make myself as unimportant to the company as possible. It's worked very well and given me a leisurely work schedule. More importantly, I've gone from shooting 110 to shooting around 80 for 18 holes of golf - if that's not proof something's working, I don't know what is!

Serge914 · Serge914's Garage

At 45, one of the best decisions of my life has been to start my own business 3 years ago instead of accepting a very lucrative job Downtown. I dont work more than 30 hours a week, usually from my home, I probably make less money but I waste less time spending it. That give me more time for my kids, wife, and all the simple pleasures of life like sports or cooking. My only regret, that is probably the reason why I only own a 914

qikcpa · qikcpa's Garage

Im a CPA, have my own practice. I work at the office MWF from 9-3 (noon on friday) Delegate everything. I have two kids and refuse to wake up 20 years from now wondering who those young people were in my house. Wife works part time from home. I always try to think to myself How many boats do you need to ski behind. Money is so relative. I have clients that think $1000 will make or break them. I have others who take home a mil a year and dont think $1000 is much at all. You can make money later but your kids will be gone in 15 years. my .02

Zeke · 09-01-2004, 06:10 PM

Work from home. Work when I want if it's office work. I do go out for my product installations a couple times a week, sometimes more in a real busy period. Somehow, I get the 40 in.

4to8m8 · 4to8m8's Garage

Okay maybe I should re title "Who works so much that they never see thier family" You work at home types, and there seems to be alot of you, have it made!

LeeH · 09-01-2004, 07:53 PM

You don't give any details about your job or lifestyle. Are you working as many hours as required or are you busting your hump so you can buy bigger, better, badder toys? In my opinion if you're working extra hours just so that you can buy more stuff, then you are really missing out. On the other hand, if you're supporting your family then you've got nothing to be ashamed of and should be happy you're wife is able to stay home.

Somebody usually has to work. That's life. My wife is a pilot and is gone 4 days/nights each week. She loves her job, but wishes she were home more with our 4 year old daughter (I've been home full time since before our daughter was born and really miss working). Five years worth of lost income is a whole lot of money, but we're happy with the decisions we made.

motion · 09-01-2004, 08:23 PM

Guys, you don't understand just how cool Ray's job is and the opportunities he has for traveling. I suppose anything gets old after a while, but I can only dream of going to the places he spends most of his time (some day....). And let's not forget that if it wasn't for Ray's money-smart wife, he would either be in jail on outstanding traffic warrants or drunk on the side of the road in his POS VW van.

EdT82SC · 09-01-2004, 08:36 PM

When I was in my 20's I believed in working 50 and 60 hours weeks every week, and more when was needed. I got burnt out, tried to scale back to 40 hours a week, but the company I was working for had grown too used to me working overtime. So we parted ways, and since then I've rarely worked more than 40 hours a week since then. Now I'm married with a beautiful 7 1/2 month old, and I enjoy spending a lot of time with her. My wife stays at home with our daughter, but kids need two full time parents. I've been there to see many of her firsts. We are teaching our daughter sign language. This morning she made her first sign. She woke up, and I went, and got her, and she made the "milk" sign. This is a great achievement, up there with first step, first word, etc. I proceeded to totally piss of my daughter by changing her diaper instead of taking her to my wife for milk. I was so proud of her. I am glad I'm not missing everything. Ray, you'll never get a chance to go back, and experience your kids growing up again. Maybe your kids will have a bit less in their college funds, but they and you will have a lot more in your lives.

4to8m8 · 4to8m8's Garage

LeeH, you're right, somebody has to work. I'll be the first to admit that most things in life baffle me, but I was smart enough to marry an intelligent grounded woman. (who doesn't mind running around in a Wonder Woman costume on fathers day)Other than eating Kitty I have one skill. I'm a navigator on a comercial ship under DOD contract. I spend several months at a time bangin around the Med. To maximise time spent at home I was forced to relocate to VB,VA. Our co. ships spend alot of time on E-coast. Being near the water on any coast is expensive. Then puting yourself in a decent school distict with normal looking nieghbors and grocery stores also drives up the price. I do take rather long vacations but my time at sea lasts any where from 4-6mo's at a time. So scaling down options for me in my oppinion would be quitting my job moving away from the coast and running a buisness somewhere with my wife. I think I just have a case of the grass is greener.

M.D. Holloway · 09-01-2004, 09:33 PM

Rev Ray,
I spend 50% of my time pouring through all sorts of manufacturing facilities - trying to increase reliability - been doing it for years now. We have a 5 yr old boy and a 1+ yr old girl. I love the job, hate the travel. Also - I have a very big fear of flying. I recently bought a 77 Targa. When I am home, the four of us go for top off drives, sometimes I get out with just my boy. What would I give to double the times we spend together? Can you say both testicles! Bottom line - we do what we can and have the maximum amount of fun when we are together. One way that I have lessened the hurt when I am away is to include my boy and someday my little girl in what I do. He knows what plants I am in and in a very simplifed way, even what kind of work I am doing. He even asks great questions about the equipment. As my wife says, it isn't always easy being happy, but the harder you try, the easier it gets.

4to8m8 · 4to8m8's Garage

Man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. On the other hand, I am proud to scrifice for my family. Like you LUBEMASTER77, when I'm home it's all fun a and games. My 4yr old daughter even goes on P-car fun runs. Anyway, I'm currently in Sicily eating in a diff ristorante every night.

M.D. Holloway · 09-01-2004, 10:01 PM

Sounds great - could go for some traditional italian about now. Just spent 3 hors in a plane from Dallas to Atlanta, drove 2+ hours to South Carolina - no eats and it is about 1Am here.

Do your self a favor - get some olive oil from San Lupo. It is the best through out all of Italy. The olive oil that comes here is only about 75% olive oil, 25% canola.

I have a good friend in VB VA - ex Navy Seal from Seal Team II. Saw 3 tours in Viet Nam. You'd think he would be a wacko but he is one of the most grounded guys I ever met. He puts it in prospective - we all (as men) need to have a duty. Duty to family, country, God and ourselves. Maybe there is inner strength created when one sacrifices for duty, who knows...

campbellcj · 10:12 PM

My wife and I both did our years of 60-100 hour weeks. Now that we are ~38 and have a son, decent home, and other interests, I have cut back to more like 40-50hrs/week and she's been doing 20 or so. We have live-in help so that what free time we do have outside of work, is not consumed doing mundane household crap.

Above all the key thing is to find a career that you enjoy and find rewarding and challenging, but also has some flexibility. We are part owners of one business (mine) and full owners of another (hers). Sure, you have to "bust ass" quite often to survive and succeed in small business (i.e. I worked until 11pm last night) but by the same token if you want to sleep in until 10am the next morning or -- ahem -- take a last-minute PTO day to go drive at the track, you have that option. If you work for someone else, it's just not the same, no matter how much vacation and PTO time you get...

I have also traveled plenty on business and as far as I'm concerned, I would much rather delegate that to others whenever possible. It is fun for a while, but grows old rapidly. At this point in my life I'd much rather be home than living out of a suitcase eating fattening meals, drinking too much, and suffering the ever-declining airline travel experience.

As one of my former managers told me, "you should work to live, not live to work". I love my business but if I did not "have" to work, financially, I could walk away in a heartbeat.