More Pilot Humor

[KevinP73]

A photographer for a well-known national magazine was assigned to cover southern California's wildfires. The magazine wanted pictures of the heroic work the firefighters were doing as they battled the blazes.


When the photographer arrived on the scene he realized that the smoke was so thick it would seriously impede, or even make impossible, his getting good photographs from ground-level. He requested permission from his boss to rent a plane and take photos from the air.


His request was approved and he used his cell-phone to call the local county airport to charter a flight.


He was told a single-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.


Arriving at the airfield and spotted his plane warming up outside a hangar. He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, "Let's go!"


The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and roared down the runway. Once in the air, the photographer requested the pilot to, "Fly over the valley and make two or three low passes so I can take some pictures of the fires on the hillsides."


"Why?" asked the pilot.


"Because I'm a photographer for a national magazine," he responded, "and I need to get some close-up shots."


The pilot was strangely silent for a moment; finally he stammered, "So, you're telling me you're not the flight instructor?"

[304065]

Hah!

[kach22i]

Funny.

The glider pilot that took me up a few weeks ago told me a few stories, like going cross country and making a forced landing in a corn field. I think he waited until we were back on the ground to share that one.

[cstreit]

Good one!

[4to8m8]

P3 Orion and a fighter jet flying side by side. Jet jock says " hey sky pig watch this" and goes into several rolls, steady's up and says" how'd ya like that"? P3 pilot says "cool, now check this out" Several moments go by and the P3 pilot says "how'd ya like that"? Jet jock says "what, I didn't see a thing" P3 pilot- "I just went in the back, put a steak in the oven and took a crap" HaHaHa

[golfnow]

thats a good one

[304065]

A guy confronts his wife, whom he believes is cheating on him:

"Are you sleeping with that pilot?"

"Uhh, negative."

[Purrybonker]

A couple of hunters charter a bush pilot to drop them at a frozen lake for a week long hunt. The pilot accepts the charter on condition that the hunters will be limited to bringing back their gear plus no more than two moose given the payload limitations of his single otter aircraft. All agree.

Upon his return to pick up the hunters a week later, the pilot finds them in possession of two moose plus two bear, exceeding the limitation previously agreed to. The hunters explain to the pilot that the previous season they had concluded their hunt with the same number of animals and the same amount of gear and that the pilot had used the same type of aircraft.

Although feeling somewhat uncertain the pilot was challenged by the accomplishments of his peer the previous season. After extensive debate and cajoling by the hunters, the pilot agreed to carry the entire load of animals, humans and gear.

Everything packed tightly in the compact fuselage of the otter, the pilot pointed the plane into a brisk headwind blowing across the small lake. The skis rattled against the ice as the plane slowly gained speed and began to close ground on a barrier of forty foot tall spruce trees that marked the end of the lake. The occupants of the plane sat in hushed silence as the trees got closer and closer while the craft continued to resist the pilot’s straining against the yoke.

Suddenly the pilot yelled out that he needed to abort the takeoff – their cargo was too heavy for such a short runway. The hunters immediately reassured the pilot that the last season they had carried the same number of animals and the same amount of equipment and that the pilot had used the same type of aircraft on the same icy lake. Once again, not wanting to be outdone by a peer, the pilot held the throttle open.

Just as the group thought that they would surely smash into the row of spruce, the little otter lifted it’s nose into a slow but cautious climb. The passengers and pilot gave a sigh of relief as they watched the towering spruce slide slowly under the fuselage of the plane.

Suddenly the craft jolted, accompanied by the sound of tearing metal. The plane had caught a ski on a lone spruce towering a few feet above the rest. The impact tore the undercarriage from the otter and sent it crashing through the forest canopy. It came to rest on the forest floor in a jumbled heap of twisted metal, hunting gear and human and animal bodies.

The pilot pushed away the bear carcass that had come to rest on his torso and looked up at one the hunters – hanging upside down from his harness in a tree limb over his head. “I thought you said that last season you had carried the same number of animals and the same amount of equipment and that the pilot had used the same type of aircraft on the same icy lake! Now I suppose your going to tell me that we ended up in the same spot as you did last year, right?”

“heck no” muttered the hunter “pat yourself on the back there boy…

why, you made it a good fifty feet further than the pilot did last year!”

[Purrybonker]

Actually - that otter story is probably not far from the truth. My dad was CO of a search and rescue squadron that used single and twin otters - usually on floats or skis. The twins were a joy, the singles a curse, particularily in sub-zero temperatures.

It wasn't unheard of to be forced to leave a passenger or two or some equipment on the shores of a remote lake after a drop in on a rescue (or other, ahem) mission. The poor singles were particularily challenged to lift pontoons out of the water unless conditions/payload were ideal. Skis were a cakewalk in comparison.