Hand Dryer Analogy

[Superman]

Sometimes I wash my hands. Yep. And sometimes, instead of paper towels or some other traditional drying method, I find one of those Berkeley blow dryers mounted to the wall. No other alternative.

I'm also addicted to reading. Anything. Matchbooks, if that's all that I can reach. Can't help myself. Probably should find a local Readers' Anonymous chapter to join. Anyway, while drying my hands, I read the panel on the dryer. Almost invariably, they tell me of the wonderful and responsible reasons why blow drying your hands is a superior method over paper towels. Saves trees. Saves the environment. Safer. Better for your hands. Cures aging. Cures erectile dysfunction. Increases IQ. Feeds the hungry. Stuff like that.

Okay, anybody know what I'm going to say next? Anybody read those reasons and say to themselves "Bull****?" The businesses that have installed them did not do so out of a sense of environmental responsibility. They did not install them to save us from chapped hands.

Anybody know the real reason they are installed? Anybody see any parallels between this situation (what you are told, versus the real reason, and why you are not given the real reason up front) and our economic system, or our political system?

[MBAtarga]

Uh, "no"?

[Rot 911]

He said "erectile" huh huh huh!

[dtw]

OK Supe, I'll bite. Speaking as a former restaurant manager who has made the call to install them before:
-to save operating supply cost on paper towels
-to save annoyance/labor cost of constantly replenishing towels
-to save customers inconvenience of empty dispenser!!!

All of these weigh pretty much equally from an operational standpoint but I'm guessing the first one is what you're after. And no, at the time, I didn't smell the global conspiracy. Oh wait, is that because I was "The Man" when I installed the dryer in my spiffy new restaurant? Cool.

[ed martin]

Cause they're blowing a lot of hot air? Oh, wait something to do with outsourcing right? Like paper towels are being outsourced and putting northwest lumberjacks on the unemployment line with no health insurance right?

[dd74]

LOL! You're killing me, Supes! Have you read "The Mezzanine" by Nicholas Baker?

[kumma]

Well sounds like restroom vandals in the PNW are not as adept as they are in the ghettos of Detroit. Every dryer I see has the “push button” lettering scratched out to read “push butt“.

As far as linking restroom accoutrements to the political or economic realm well that’s beyond my brain functions. Must be them evil doers at Halliburton.

[cstreit]

What I want to know is why do they ALWAYS install the g-damn dispensors at a level where the water invariably runs down your elbows and into/onto your shirt sleeves before you can grab the damn towels or push the button?!?!

I hate that....

[dtw]

Originally posted by kumma
Every dryer I see has the “push button” lettering scratched out to read “push butt“.

Then they just went to the universal sign of a finger pushing a button. Except it looks like a finger penetrating an orifice. So then the "push butt" jokers came back and either drew stink lines over the button, so it looked like an arsehole, or they drew a patch of pubic hair over it, so it looked like a vagina.

Can't win!!

[emcon5]

I leave the restroom with dripping wet hands, walk to the napkin machine/waiter station, grap a fistfull of napkins and dry my hands.

Tom

[island911]

I find that the BEST solution to "saving trees. saving the environment. Safer. Better for your hands. " .. .is to not piss on myself in the first place.

. . . .hmmm . .. the parallels .. .

[notfarnow]

Peter Egan made a funny comment about those things once... said that if blowing warm bathroom air over your hands is the most hygienic way to dry them, wouldn't surgeons do it before operating? I hate the things...

[VINMAN]

After you wash your hands to clean them, you use the dryer. Then you proceed to grab the dirty, filthy, germ and disease ridden door handle. (the same handle that the guy before you just took a dump and didnt wash his hands, touched).
Which cancels out the whole purpose of washing your hands in the first place!

[}{arlequin]

This may be a legend, but it has some merit:

They did a chemical analysis of bar nuts, pretzels, etc, and found an unusually high urine content in them. You got it, from people that don't wash their hands and then go back to the bar stool and munch (and touch) some more pretzels. Better stick to beer or order your own food.

[Superman]

Yep, businesses install them because they improve the bottom line. They raise revenues, or lower costs. Lower costs is my guess. But, "They're cheaper" is never one of the reasons listed. It's as though they're trying to make me believe that they're installed out of a sense of environmental responsibility, coupled with concern for the condition of customers' skin. That insults my intelligence, but perhaps it fools a fair number of people. And therein lies the parallel with American politics. In my humble opinion.

No, I've not read The Mezzanine. I'm still working on the newspaper I bought LAST Wednesday. I'm expecting to have roughly twenty minutes of free time this week, which is tentatively scheduled for Sunday.

[dd74]

The Mezzanine has a deep and thorough analysis of the American Standard toilet and urinal, not to mention other enlightening toward additional bathroom products. It's truly a book for the overly aware and vaguely obsessed as they walk back to work from their lunch break.

As far as hand dryers - yes, they're there for cost savings, I believe. No paper is involved, no restacking of the paper...

Unsanitary though they are - take the button one needs to press to start the dryer. Do you dare touch it with your finger after everyone else? No. This is where the elbow of your long-sleeve shirt comes into play (goodness help you if you're in short sleeves and have to use a public bathroom).

Lastly, I do lean against re-using a bathroom equipped with hand dryers which also have no paper towels. Because invariably I will remember that there are no paper towels to use toward grasping the bathroom door's handle. The alternative in this - if I really "have to go" - is to go, wash up, air-blow dry (with appropriate use of my long sleeve shirt's elbow portion to activate the dryer's button), and then once dry, utilize that same long sleeve to pull over my hand and thus grab the handle.

Or I can stand for minutes on end and wait for someone to come in and swing the door wide enough for both himself to slip in and me to slip out - hands to myself, of course.

[dtw]

Ideal situation if they have hand-dryer only (no supplemental towels) is: a non-latching, outward-swinging door with a stainless steel baseplate. Then you just swing the door open with your foot or possibly your shoulder or elbow.

Solution to the paper-towel-dispenser-too-high-so-the-water-runs-down-your-arms-into-your-cuffs-thus-moistening-the-elbows issue: Turn on faucet, adjust mixture. Dispense towel but don't tear off...leave it hanging. Dispense soap, wash hands, rinse. Grab towels, dry. Evaluate towel saturation. If additional towels are required, dispense more towels using existing towel to actuate lever. Repeat process until hands are dry. Employ used towels to turn off faucet and open door as necessary.

[}{arlequin]

This could all be solved if only the bathroom doors always swung OUT.

[dd74]

Originally posted by }{arlequin
This could all be solved if only the bathroom doors always swung OUT.

I think there's something legal about that: imagine the responsibility of the establishment where a person like me (or possibly yourself), kicks, elbows or shoulders the door open, and smacks some other patron in the face.

Not good.

But at least our hands will be clean.

[Dantilla]

Geez, Sup!

Yeah, the restaurant installed them to save money (or were they offered a bribe from the electric company?), but the company that manufactures them installs the lables. They just come that way. And yes, it's called marketing. Why- How dare they!

Your car came with a little badge on the hood that says "PORSCHE".
Maybe you should tear it off, or at least demand a monthly advertizing fee from PCNA.